AIBU to challenge my husband using the same excuse over chores?

[sausagetheorangecat]

Husband has always been rubbish at house chores- doesn’t like tidying, doesn’t see mess, leaves laundry on floor etc. I do most of it as for me a tidy house = tidy mind.

However we keep having arguments over chores. Example our 8 month old keeps weeing through the nappies at night the last few days so this morning I took off the wet sheet and mattress protector to wash. Tonight my husband put baby to bed and just put him on the bare mattress. No sheet. I got mad because if baby wets through I then have a wet mattress. His response (which has been the same response over similar arguments) is to shout that I am always having a go at him for everything, he can’t do anything right, he didn’t mean it, and threatens leaving me with ‘the way I am with him’. .
Aibu to say that he can’t use that excuse every time? I don’t want to split, we’ve been together years and have children. How do i navigate things like this without the threat of him leaving me? I feel like we either have a major argument or I should keep quiet and just moved baby and put a clean sheet on bed myself

Yes they bloody can, otherwise they wouldn't be able to be chefs or surgeons or accountants or architects or managers or postmen or teachers or nursers or literally any other job requiring one iota of forward planning. Women don't have a mysterious extra hemisphere of the brain that allows them to understand housework.

I’d be calling his bluff.

”good luck then, literally everyone wants a mattress covered, and future wife would be sick to death of your laziness too”.

It’s pure laziness. He simply can’t be arsed.

He sounds like a pathetic lazy loser who can't even be bothered with his own child's comfort. It's baffling that you want to stay with him.

Unfortunately I think the a lot of men like the OP's partner would do this to a infant but then get cranky at their wives for not making he bed properly for them and kick off a stink.

How many men are incapable of bathing their children when their wife is away but don't seem to forget to have a shower themselves.

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=Weaponised+incompetence

(for @HumbleHun who seems to have led a very sheltered life and be pretty incompetent themselves, when it comes to sticking to the topic, reading the room, making use of either a search engine or a dictionary, demonstrating an understanding of spelling/ grammar or describing themselves - hardly "humble")

OP: He's not worth it. Your life would be easier without this guy living in your home. Next time he 'threatens' to leave, please try agreeing, and see what happens. If by some miracle he isn't a complete jerk, at that point he would be doing everything he could to fix the problem, change his attitude and behaviour etc...

Why don't you want to split? He actively can't be arsed to do the bare minimum and is creating more work.

This is a thread for a woman struggling in her domestic life.

Perhaps you could debate the merits of the common phrase she used to described her husband purposely failing at housekeeping tasks over in pedants corner instead?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner

Bravo well said, about time folk ,including me, were bought down a peg or two.

It’s an interesting discussion and I’ll gladly join a thread there if you start it.

Because it’s a two word phrase?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner/5575981-weaponized-incompetence

Here you go;

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pedants_corner/5575981-weaponized-incompetence

Hope you’ll join.

But not every two word (or three or four etc) phrase is included in the dictionary? It’s not like saying a single word isn’t in there.

This.

If you knew he was like this when you ttc with him, what did you think would happen?

Being unable to talk to him about issues is a massive red flag. He has the emotional maturity of a toaster - threatening to leave and being defensive are huge red flags.

Doesn’t sound like a good relationship at all, and you’re in the trenches with young dc.

You will grow to resent him even more, then hate him, I’d he current step up and start doing his share.