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AIBU to wonder how home educators feel confident teaching children?

198 replies

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 00:34

Genuinely interested in those that home school? What do you think you can do better? Do you plan the full curriculum till 18? It is an ethos? how do you have the confidence to teach?
as an educated professional, doing training courses drains me from the stress. I have a masters in engineering but can’t possibly believe I can teach my child maths. So how do home educators have the confidence to think they can do it?

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 06/09/2026 05:53

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:15

Why am I going wrong? Surely it’s the same question assuming all home educators are great

well your posts seem to suggest you think school is much better than home ed, particularly when you say things like ‘what makes you think you are better than teachers?’ and so on. of course not all home educators are good at it, I never said they were, my point is that all people are different, all children are different and thinking that a school system works for every child is just not
true.

blondeboobshell · 06/09/2026 06:37

You are wondering how do home educators teach 10 subjects and prepare their children to sit 10 GCSES.
Typically home educated children didn’t cope with the school system so they are not taught in the conventional way. They might do a couple hours of lessons then go swimming/ park/ museum or just chill. Lessons can be taught by parent/ tutors/ online resources.

110APiccadilly · 06/09/2026 06:43

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 02:42

don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging those that home educate. But how were you so sure those resources were available to you? How can you be so sure online information is true if you don’t understand it yourself?

You can limit yourself to trusted websites (e.g. BBC, Khan Academy, etc). You can ask a friend or another home ed parent who's knowledgeable in that area. Or you can use books - libraries are a fantastic resource.

As others have said, very few home educators are educating secondary school children without any external help, whether that's tutors, group sessions, online classes, or something else. My kids are young primary (Year 1 and reception) and even so are involved in external stuff for sports and social activities. Ironically it's the academics where we don't need any external help (if and when we do, we'll get it.)

Having said all that, my mum successfully taught me Latin by staying one lesson ahead of me in the book! I don't know if I'd recommend that, but it definitely worked.

110APiccadilly · 06/09/2026 06:53

stichguru · 05/09/2026 18:42

The reality is that the education system is mostly centred around the philosophy that teacher knows X and that child need to know X and there is a small number of methods for teacher to impart their knowledge of X to child.

This is a reasonably sensible philosophy for schools because they are working to a model where in general 30 children of a certain age need to gain knowledge of X together in a classroom. I would argue that there are many people who would know X as well as teachers, and could explain X one-on-one. In school though, teachers need to be able to impart that knowledge en-mass to a large number of students at once. This includes being able to explain X in multiple ways to children with different learning styles, while still teaching W to those who didn't get it and teaching Z to those who got X the minute they said it. While managing the fact that Jonny and Bill are chatting and David's feeling sick, and Bethany needs a wee...! It's managing that that's hard... just imparting knowledge one-on-one, not so much!

I agree completely with this. I could absolutely not teach a class of 20 to 30 children to read and have massive respect for the teachers who can. I can (and have) taught my own child to read - that was easy, and I could adapt to a learning style that suited her.

In fact I've taught one child to read, and am in the process of teaching my second, and one thing that's really struck me is how different my two children are and how well both of them respond to a completely different method of teaching.

Aviarythebird · 06/09/2026 07:04

Yes there’s such a difference between teaching 30 children and helping your own access education. I’ve so much respect for what teachers manage in a classroom environment.
I home edded my three and there are so many resources to help with the GCSE years.
A major benefit is you can answer your children’s questions in a way that a classroom teacher can’t answer 30 children. If you don’t know the answer your model researching it, identifying trustworthy resources etc which is more valuable than just telling them.
There were times when my teenage kids were stroppy and didn’t want to learn certain things with me and we found classes or hired tutors. It was very do-able upto GCSE - although the earlier years were much more fun.

TangyChina · 06/09/2026 07:07

The school system is a one track system and teaches one way. Eg phonics is the only way DC are taught to read the phonics tests back that up. But many DC can't read with phonics they need other strategies and school can't provide that.

So id say it's more a miracle how such a system manages to teach any DC who need a slightly different strategy.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 06/09/2026 08:43

GottaBeStrong · 05/09/2026 13:51

@GottaBeStrong , perfect! 😂

Funmuma · 06/09/2026 09:46

Unfortunately there is a lot of evidence that a lot of home educated kids are way behind the national average. You will always find the ones who had all A and went to Cambridge but it’s the exception. To be fair, many have additional needs so that would probably not catered in mainstream school, so they would be behind anyway, but reality is it is very very hard for parents, even when using on line groups, tutors etc to give their kids the same education as good schools.

Palomiino · 06/09/2026 09:53

Funmuma · 06/09/2026 09:46

Unfortunately there is a lot of evidence that a lot of home educated kids are way behind the national average. You will always find the ones who had all A and went to Cambridge but it’s the exception. To be fair, many have additional needs so that would probably not catered in mainstream school, so they would be behind anyway, but reality is it is very very hard for parents, even when using on line groups, tutors etc to give their kids the same education as good schools.

For starters, some children with SEN are more academically able than their peers.

Do you have a source which shows that home educated children are often behind?

Funmuma · 06/09/2026 09:57

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:23

Christ alive, touchy subject?

As you can see from the responses, you are being attacked just by asking… it tells you everything you need to know about a lot of people who home ed… don’t question them, they are great, let’s not even discuss about pros, cons, difficulties, limitations etc. the right attitude for learning, basically!

Funmuma · 06/09/2026 10:09

Palomiino · 06/09/2026 09:53

For starters, some children with SEN are more academically able than their peers.

Do you have a source which shows that home educated children are often behind?

You can find studies but this is a good balanced read
https://tutorful.co.uk/blog/homeschooling-vs-traditional-schooling

Home Education vs Traditional Schooling: The Honest Assessment You Actually Need

Home Ed vs School: The Honest 2026 Assessment You Need

This isn't a "top 10" list. It’s the raw conversation about home education vs school. Discover the frameworks and research to decide what’s right for your child.

https://tutorful.co.uk/blog/homeschooling-vs-traditional-schooling

ChalkOutlines · 06/09/2026 10:12

Funmuma · 06/09/2026 09:57

As you can see from the responses, you are being attacked just by asking… it tells you everything you need to know about a lot of people who home ed… don’t question them, they are great, let’s not even discuss about pros, cons, difficulties, limitations etc. the right attitude for learning, basically!

That could possibly be because OP cane from a stance of “you can’t “. You can’t possibly be doing it well, you can’t possibly be intelligent enough to discern between online sources, you can’t be savvy enough to do research, you can’t be capable enough to explain things and so on. Hence her “incredulity” at the confidence and where it could possibly come from.

Owninterpreter · 06/09/2026 10:15

I had to home educate for a short time as my son had sen and there wasnt a school place.

I didnt plan a curriculum all the way to 18 as I thought he woukd go to school and he did.

I looked at the national curriculumn for his year group and used twinkle resources. I found english writing very hard to teach compared to maths. I was less clear what they were looking for. We had a tutor for english and maths

bebanjo · 06/09/2026 10:20

I love it when a qualified teacher asked how a parent feels qualified to teach their own children.
go into any state school in the uk and fined all the teachers that are not qualified in the subject they are teaching and ask them the same question.
my daughter started school at 13, she had NO mathes teacher at all for 2 terms running up to GCSEs. Just a different sub every lesson that didn’t even manage crowd control.

Bleachedjeans · 06/09/2026 12:01

hotmumshit · 05/09/2026 00:48

Some dont have a choice. Autism, adhd, other disabilities, bullying all factor in

I suffered at school. My autistic child was pulled out of school in april and I 'home schooled' - twas a fucking nightmare and I am crawling through til she goes to her new school

I doth my hat to home ed parents - its no Swiss picnic

GOOGLE ‘doff’ and ‘don’ - 😄

Stopthattractor · 06/09/2026 13:31

Pumpkindice · 05/09/2026 12:14

Honestly my main curiosity when people home school is not how they do it, but how they afford it! Both in the loss of childcare and the cost of tutoring, groups and resources.

Fair point. It's as expensive as you make it. My kids had every tutor that might be helpful, including highly specialised teachers who were at the cutting edge of research. No resource was ignored if it might be helpful. And equine therapy three times a week on their own pony which was kept at full livery at that time.

Their father was a high earner and I used my inheritance. We did it because there was nothing more important to us.

Posters saying that most parents who home educate do so for ideological reasons are naive about the experiences of some families with neurodivergent children in the school system. Most people I know had decided to make home education work initially because they had to and only later realised it often produces more rounded, happier children than school does. Sometimes it doesn't and there are children I think would be better at school. I used to be up very late preparing resources.

One point I wish that every parent reading this thread would take on board is the important of being involved in your child's learning regardless of where they learn. Speaking as a teacher, I feel very strongly that it would be good for children to be raised in this way by their parents as well, even if just in a supporting role. I got to know my children and understand them in a way I never would have otherwise. I don't mean helping with homework. I mean the whole family getting behind whatever the new ideas are, having a white board and making up games, getting a child to explain what they're learning about to Dad, watching YouTube videos and actually reading proper chapter books and talking about the characters, making predictions and discussing their feelings and choices.

Do the weird science experiments that are everywhere on social media, even Tiktok is full of ideas. Go to the phonics evening and make sure you know how to make the sounds of each alphabet letter. If they're learning contractions or comparatives, work it into the conversation at completely inappropriate moments. Or have a prize for whoever can use the most in a half hour. The opportunities for silly games with homophones are endless. Get it wrong sometimes so your child feels part of a shared experience. Go for a treat as a family if something is tricky and effort has been expended. Don't reward grades. A child should ideally feel like their identity as a learner is respected and supported. That includes making frequent trial runs which are not mistakes but a journey. Be unpredictable within safe boundaries. For some reason, my children loved it when I said, "We'll edit that out later," if I made a mistake.

Learning is an opportunity for connection, not a worksheet. The more parents who see it as their job too, the more engaged and secure children will be.

Stopthattractor · 06/09/2026 13:44

ILoveMyCaravan · 05/09/2026 14:15

We didn’t “teach” them formally and we certainly didn’t follow the curriculum.

When we removed them from primary school it was to protect their mental and physical health. The school were doing a shit job at that.

They learned autonomously. They read books, lots of them, for pleasure and not because they had a 10 minute allotted reading time in school. As adults, they now regularly still buy themselves books. As kids, they couldn’t pass a Waterstones without asking to go in.

They returned to a small school at 14 to take their GCSSEs. They both passed with flying colours despite never having taken an exam or SATs. Both went to college, and again passed everything first time.

Their teachers always commented that if there was something they didn’t understand in class, the next day they would come in with more knowledge about it because they had willingly gone away and researched it and asked questions. Instead of being spoon fed information like many other school kids.

As adults they continue to enjoy learning what interests them, including subjects unrelated to their careers. One of them has just rebuilt a classic car. He’d never had any interest in being a mechanic as a profession, but researched it and got on with it, learning all the time.

We couldn’t be more proud of them.

I left school with no qualifications, my husband the same. We ran our own business for nearly 30 years. Mortgage paid off at 40. Make of that what you will.

Yes my children's' teachers also note that they put their hands up to ask questions if they don't understand and take responsibility for getting their heads around a concept. They keep asking until they understand. All children should feel free to do this but the school system leaves some kids feeling powerless, disengaged and scared to speak.

Oldtiredfedup · 06/09/2026 13:45

There are a range of ways children can be taught outside of school to suit their individual needs. The internet is a wonderful resource.

Oldtiredfedup · 06/09/2026 13:47

ChalkOutlines · 06/09/2026 10:12

That could possibly be because OP cane from a stance of “you can’t “. You can’t possibly be doing it well, you can’t possibly be intelligent enough to discern between online sources, you can’t be savvy enough to do research, you can’t be capable enough to explain things and so on. Hence her “incredulity” at the confidence and where it could possibly come from.

Yup.

FedUpCelery · 06/09/2026 13:49

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:47

It’s interesting I’m asking a question to learn, and being criticised for questioning a world I am not exposed to by the exact people who suggest home education has a lot more possibilities

I think the way you're asking isn't coming across as open and curious. You are presenting your questions along with preformed assumptions.

For example "If people are researching an answer online becaue they don’t know the basics themselves, how can they be confident in the answer. Sure, if you’re just happy to take the first google so be it."

Three assumptions here - that a parent doesn't know the basics and also that a parent doesn't know how to evaluate what they are reading and furthermore is 'happy to take the first google'

ILoveMyCaravan · 06/09/2026 13:56

Stopthattractor · 06/09/2026 13:44

Yes my children's' teachers also note that they put their hands up to ask questions if they don't understand and take responsibility for getting their heads around a concept. They keep asking until they understand. All children should feel free to do this but the school system leaves some kids feeling powerless, disengaged and scared to speak.

My eldest has a speech impediment. There was one particular teacher (also deputy head) who would not respond when he put his hand up as “he took too long to speak”. When he moved up a year, the teacher rearranged the desks so he was sat opposite the girl who abused him the most, so again he was ridiculed whenever he tried to speak.
That primary school was destroying him. All our work with the speech and language therapist was being undone at the very place he was meant to be learning and gaining confidence.
We removed him and home educated for 8 years. His speech improved. In his final year at uni he presented the student awards on stage. He was fucking awesome.

Oldtiredfedup · 06/09/2026 18:01

FedUpCelery · 06/09/2026 13:49

I think the way you're asking isn't coming across as open and curious. You are presenting your questions along with preformed assumptions.

For example "If people are researching an answer online becaue they don’t know the basics themselves, how can they be confident in the answer. Sure, if you’re just happy to take the first google so be it."

Three assumptions here - that a parent doesn't know the basics and also that a parent doesn't know how to evaluate what they are reading and furthermore is 'happy to take the first google'

Yup.

the assumption that home edders are too stupid to be able to use critical thinking skills or fact check is wild.

Hobnobbled · 06/09/2026 20:06

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 01:54

How do you decide you are more able than the school system?

You aren't standing at the front of the classroom like a teacher, you are a conductor. You set them up with the materials, usually from an online curriculum, and work through it together. You enable them to research, discover, you make them sit down and do it every day and give them structure. Where their interests go in a particular direction, be it maths, music, lesser spotted dung beetles, you explore it with them.

I couldn't do it but have seen it work so well for others.

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