AIBU to wonder how home educators feel confident teaching children?

[Toodledootwo]

Genuinely interested in those that home school? What do you think you can do better? Do you plan the full curriculum till 18? It is an ethos? how do you have the confidence to teach?
as an educated professional, doing training courses drains me from the stress. I have a masters in engineering but can’t possibly believe I can teach my child maths. So how do home educators have the confidence to think they can do it?

I'm not sure why you feel the need to be adversarial. Theres good and bad schools, some schools are good for some children and bad for others, there's good and bad home educators.

I do find it hard as the absolute worst abuse I've
seen has been in home educated homes, though I use that term loosely as the parents weren't home educating and I know misrepresent what it means. But if you want to hide abuse, and normalise it within the family so that children don't tell, then choosing to keep your children at home is a tool that can help you do it. I don't think that means people shouldn't home educate but I can't help but think about what could be done differently to protect those children.

Teaching a class and teaching very small group, or even 1:1 is very different.

If you have just one child, you have an interaction, you can try to explain/demonstrate and you see whether it flies or not. If it was a random question, you can search some tips and get back to it later.

(Not in the UK) my teachers training was about teaching a big group - where you need to be clear and easy to follow, as you can't check everyone follows at every steps. It doesn't matter so much when I teach in groups of four and can check everyone with a single glance.

I home ed my eldest and her favourite subjects are maths and science which has made me fall in love with them again as an adult. My degree is in a different field but I feel completely confident. It's more like facilitating or being a peer tutor rather than teaching in a teacher role. It's collaboration and exploration more than memorisation and copying things, learning things by rote etc and trying to get everyone to remember xyz for the test next week.

I don't have to know how to control the behaviour of 30 children (I wouldn't know how!). I don't think I am better than a teacher or a school. I respect my friends who are teachers. Neither education is better or worse - just different! We don't follow the curriculum for anything except maths. I do look at it frequently and make sure we don't have any gaps in our understanding though.

Lots of home ed parents in our local group are ex teachers and give advice if we ask questions but most of the parents don't follow the national curriculum. Some parents in our group are from countries where children start school aged 6 or 7 and they just let the kids learn through play until those ages. Some parents were home educated themselves. Some parents have children who tried school and really struggled.

I think the comment made by @GottaBeStrong about not having time to ponder is spot on.
It’s amazing what you can do when your child needs you to step up.

It’s not about being ‘more able’ than a school system.

It’s trying to limit damage to a child’s mental health. State schools have had funding stripped away from them for years, creating an unsuitable environment for all but the most able NT kids. Because Michael Gove also made the curriculum harder.

You can fix holes in education more easily than you can trauma from bullying and the wrong type of learning environment.

Your question literally makes no sense

You don't think you could teach maths to your kids, at all? Surely you must help them from time to time?

Have you never tried to teach anything to anyone? Don't you remember how you learned things?

There are so many scenarios where we teach that have nothing to do with an education degree. Often in our jobs. I taught quite a lot in the military. My kids have all done music, the oldest two are studying it at the post secondary level - their music teachers over the years mostly had no specific education around teaching.

I take this "oh teaching is so impossible' thing with a grain of salt as I often think it's disingenuous. But if you want a real answer, most parents who home educate find some teaching materials for the subject and use them. There are lots, and these days you can get ones made for home educators which are nice as they don't have a classroom setting in mind. Though when my kids were young we used Singapore Math which is just a normal set of math texts and work books.

You can find materials for reading, spelling, writing, Latin, French, geography, you name it. Some really great history curricula.

I don’t know why everyone is pretending home schooling is only ever done out of necessity when it is actually mostly done for ideological reasons by parents.

honestly, when people do it when their kids don’t have SEN or physical/mental health problems, I think parents are vastly underestimating how much of a skill teaching itself is. It’s not just about having knowledge.

not to mention the social disadvantages of not being in school

That’s interesting. Things have definitely evolved beyond home education. I didn’t realise it had become so developed in some areas - nothing like this exists in our immediate area. The RE example is more like ‘alternative to school with elements a bit like school’ education.

We use knowledge, books, internet and trips out....just like schools do. I've hone ed my two since day one and they're absolutely thriving. We are a neurodivergent family and schools don't suit us.

Why wouldn't it be?

Schools as we know then today have been around less than 200 years.

And they've never been the best way to educate someone.

They are only the best way to educate a mass of people to a certain level.

The point to education is to become educated. Attending a school is a means, not an end.

Honestly my main curiosity when people home school is not how they do it, but how they afford it! Both in the loss of childcare and the cost of tutoring, groups and resources.

Loss of income is a real issue. I would say most home educating families I've known fall into a middle income slot, but often live as if they are working class. In terms of things like where they live etc.

Typically the parents would struggle to pay for private ed for all their kids even with both parents working, but can manage living frugally with one income. Or in many cases the home educating parent may do some work that fits around their home life.

They don't typically need to pay for things like institutional childcare, so that's a savings.

As far as paying for classes and tutors etc. some do. But you don't really need most if that stuff. A lot of kids will slot back into a more standard school around 15 or so, when more tutors might be necessary.

As far as online programs, I would say overall they've lowered the quality of home ed, sometimes significantly. Used carefully some are great for older kids, or to supplement certain things for younger ones. But just like schools, some home ed parents have been told kids will learn better online, and it's not true.

But that's not just a home ed problem, alas
Many schools are screwing over kids by doing too much online.

We have two (almost) full time incomes and have to be pretty frugal. Also have grandparents helping out and childcare swaps with friends.

I think you are setting up a straw man each time, so you will never be satisfied.

If you assume home educators have no background understanding, no ability to judge their own level of understanding, and when looking things up uncritically work from the first Google hit, then of course you are confused that they can be competent home-educators. Becuase you’ve baked it into the premises.

There’s lots of interesting literature on people’s ability to estimate their own competence.

That suggests that many people will wrongly believe themselves to be competent in any sphere.

But your target seems to be a bit different: you seem to doubt that any home-educator could accurately assess themselves as competent.

Teaching requires patience. My father is incredibly academic, but just doesn't understand that other people might need to be shown more than once, or might find something he finds very simple difficult. Him trying to teach me anything usually resulted in tears on my part and exasperation on his.

Whilst your music teacher in your example might not have had formal teaching training, they'll have a certain disposition. Some people find it very hard to teach a skill, particularly if it comes easily to them, to somebody who is an absolute novice and doesn't find that skill easy to pick up.

You used work as an example. Have you not found that some people just don't have the knack of training others? I have certainly shadowed people who think doing something in front of you is all that's required to train you.

It's about recognising the right thing for the right person.

For DS school suited him very well, but for DD it didn't, and I knew our relationship would suit homeschooling.

I approached DS about the idea before anyone else to see if he was happy about it, and he was.

So from year 9 to year 11 DD and I had a lovely 3 years until she went to college to study BTEC performing arts and an A level in Psychology.

@TempestTost
You are preaching to the choir regarding school not necessarily being the best place for education.
I stand by point that ‘not liking the school run’ is a questionable justification for making that decision.

It’s interesting I’m asking a question to learn, and being criticised for questioning a world I am not exposed to by the exact people who suggest home education has a lot more possibilities

How is it interesting? You've asking questions in what you admit is a slightly drunken state in an off-putting manner that comes across as wanting home educators to justify our choices compared to the school system when you clearly have the internet to expose yourself to possibilities if you so chose to do so. It's common sense that this type of questioning leads to less cooperative responses.

Basic research in this topic would show most home educators do not teach their children from the start until 18. Most British home educated children are those who were withdrawn from schools after significant issues there, most who return to school, often a different one, within a few years. Most of the changes both coming out of and going into schools happens around the key stages, though post-COVID there has been many shifts in home education and It's been noted a significant increase of withdraws around Year 8 with an increase of children studying GCSEs at colleges either in home education specific programmes in Years 10-11 (it's usually larger cities with this option) or post-16 programmes.

I think any adult who can't teach an able child to read, write, be confident in arithmetic, and basic knowledge of sources when there are many curriculums available has been failed by their own education. While some parents do not want to do this or feel they don't have the patience for it, and I don't think any parent should need to take on the whole of their child's education as many have had to do by the limits of the systems around us, the idea that you with your masters in engineering could not convey this information when there are tools readily available to support this - to me that says your education was rather poor. Being able to share information with the next generation so they understand is something most social animals do and even decades ago when I started home educating, there were open and go curriculums available. Many curriculums used in schools have 1:1 versions that are used by tutors, TAs, and home educators.

This understanding is what gave me confidence to home educate my children for most of their childhoods after my oldest, who is autistic and when small had very limited speech had a teacher exclude him and another autistic boy from class games that relied on speech. This significantly dropped what speech he had, and when I found out, I decided I would not send my children to school until they were able to communicate when they were being harmed. To me it was basic safeguarding. I wasn't trying to be better, I wasn't trying to be more able, I wasn't trying to do what schools do, I was trying to be safe and support the children I have when the system failed to do so.

Now, I've been blessed with four autistic children who never went through a why phase so the 'when kids ask' assumption didn't happen with mine. I did use curriculums based on finding sources, one for primary science called Science Detective which requires all answers to be sourced from the text was a great early exposure to this as it lead to natural conversations around what to consider when looking at sources, trusted vs sketchy sources, and similar. Many good curriculums do this kind of multitasking where it's for one subject, but builds in these skills and wider conversations. Also, sometimes the genuine answer is we don't know - it's okay to tell kids this. Teachers do it all the time, parents don't have to know everything either.

Oh that's interesting, it's different to what I've seen, but I'm aware my awareness is a little skewed! I know some from a community language group, and they tend to be people who have come here on 'highly skilled worker' visa, so one very high income parent, and one who might find it harder to work (as well as having different cultural views about good education) And then at the opposite end it's what I see in social work, where it's not common but have some neglect situations where parents have taken their children out of school, and they're on very low incomes. Most of those I've seen in that capacity I don't think the parents ever really cared for home schooling, it was a tool to stay under the radar, so quite different. There have been a couple that I came across around COVID where it was about alternative education though more of a libertarian, anti establishment, anti vax slant.
Just to be clear I'm not suggesting all anti vaxers /alternative lifestyle folk come to social services at all, just sometimes it can go together.

Some people are certainly better than others.

Most people learn teaching best from practicing it. Including teachers. Their education does little to give them that skill.

But even if the OP has completely the wrong disposition, or is remarkably untalented in that area, I don't really believe she is so naive as to believe only people who have taken an education degree can teach. Most people have some ability and most can improve it a lot with a bit of effort and practice.

But why?

The point is for the child to be educated.

If a child has the choice between to good schools, why shouldn't the parent pick the one that's more amenable to their lifestyle?

Our local theatre allows us to drop off our children for theatre workshops during the day/term time - some are for the morning or afternoon and others are all day. My daughter interacts with other children and adults without me at these. She has made new friends through this type of interaction. The same goes for multi- sports days. She does other home ed classes where she is alone with the teacher and other children,

I know there are drop-off sessions run by teachers in my area who teach small groups of home ed children subjects such as numeracy, literacy, science, history, art etc.

The problem with home education, in my opinion, comes when a child isn't given access to these type of opportunities. I know my LA has picked up on this and issued SAOs for children who aren't being given a well-rounded education - generally these children are never seen at home ed activities.

It is also complex and difficult for children who are unable to or struggle to to engage with activities and classes outside the house due to SEN/SEMH issues. My daughter's SEN/SEMH difficulties means she's struggled to leave the house and to engage with others. It is a constant battle to combat this and ensure her needs are being met at all levels - educationally, socially, PHSE-wise etc. Where I am, there seems to be a lot of us, unfortunately.

Yeah, I do think there is a contingent of expats who home educate. Often because they want kids to carry on with something more like their home system, especially if they will return.

Or, because they think the local education stinks at a basic level. This is pretty common where I live because the school system is really bad. If you want your child to get a good education it's pretty much on you, even if they are in school.

Where I live there have been two main contingents home educating historically. People doing religious education, which has typically been pretty solid. Especially for Catholics. Or hippies, who tended to do a more unschooling approach but still pretty high end compared to schools.

I've seen some that are basically neglecting their kids, but not a large number by any stretch. Most of the parents who don't want to do anything would just as soon have them in school, it keeps them out of their hair.

Increasingly there are kids where they are not thriving and the parents take them out. This group has pretty mixed results. Some do great and find they love it. But some buy into the idea they can stick them in an online program and that's all that they need. It doesn't tend to work out.