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AIBU to wonder how home educators feel confident teaching children?

198 replies

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 00:34

Genuinely interested in those that home school? What do you think you can do better? Do you plan the full curriculum till 18? It is an ethos? how do you have the confidence to teach?
as an educated professional, doing training courses drains me from the stress. I have a masters in engineering but can’t possibly believe I can teach my child maths. So how do home educators have the confidence to think they can do it?

OP posts:
Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:09

PDAalltheway · 05/09/2026 03:07

I don't teach. We use child-led autonomous learning. It's a completely different mindset. Of home edding parents who are qualified teachers, about 50% say that their teaching background is actively unhelpful because home ed is so very different.

If my children were limited by my experience & knowledge, they'd be in trouble. One of the things I don't like about school is that children’s learning is limited by their teachers' knowledge and experience, because so much learning is done by the teachers imparting their knowledge. I'd rather my children learn from people who really are experts in their subjects, which you have time to do in home ed, but often not in school. Lots of the areas my children have learnt about are ones in which their knowledge and understanding has far outstripped mine.

Mine both taught themselves maths, one taught themselves to read and a whole lot of other things. If you wait till the child is developmentally ready, it's much easier & quicker for them to learn things than if they're forced into someone else's timescales.

The main thing that home ed parents need is an attitude of curiosity about the world and the willingness to engage with their children in learning more about things they want to know about.

(I have always home educated my DC because I used to be a teacher and didn't want to inflict school on them.)

But I imagine if you used to be a teacher you probably have the confidence and knowledge how to teach

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 05/09/2026 03:13

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 02:25

I see them as professionals who have learned how to convey knowledge in their subject over many years and understand different approaches for different situations.
i wouldn’t expect someone just to investigate what I do as my career and feel confident enough portray they not understand but can teach it

but not all teachers have years of knowledge. some just qualified, some have knowledge that is out of date, some are just not very good at it. assuming all teachers are great is where you’re going wrong.

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:15

TheOriginalEmu · 05/09/2026 03:13

but not all teachers have years of knowledge. some just qualified, some have knowledge that is out of date, some are just not very good at it. assuming all teachers are great is where you’re going wrong.

Why am I going wrong? Surely it’s the same question assuming all home educators are great

OP posts:
TMess · 05/09/2026 03:16

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 02:42

don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging those that home educate. But how were you so sure those resources were available to you? How can you be so sure online information is true if you don’t understand it yourself?

…what “online information”? Honestly, it doesn’t take some kind of superhuman self confidence and/or extensive navel gazing to be responsible for your own child’s education. I feel like you’re underestimating the general intelligence of most semi-competent adults. I am lucky in that we’re financially well off and all of my children are academically inclined but I know people who do equally well without those benefits. Education at home does not work for every parent-child dyad or every situation and the only critical part of undertaking it (assuming no extenuating circumstances) is being able to recognize that and adjust if necessary.

TheOriginalEmu · 05/09/2026 03:20

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 02:28

I’m sorry you had such an awful time and amazing you did so well out of all you were up against!
was that your natural ability to absorb information? Or was your parent confident in the 10 GCSE subjects that they helped you achieve?

My grandparents and mother taught me things in the areas they knew about, so my grandfather taught me welsh, my grandmother taught me music, my
mother did english and literature and art. everything else I taught myself. Anything i got stuck on we found someone who did know it and they helped. It definitely helped that i was naturally very motivated to learn and loved to read and got lots of knowledge that way.

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:22

TMess · 05/09/2026 03:16

…what “online information”? Honestly, it doesn’t take some kind of superhuman self confidence and/or extensive navel gazing to be responsible for your own child’s education. I feel like you’re underestimating the general intelligence of most semi-competent adults. I am lucky in that we’re financially well off and all of my children are academically inclined but I know people who do equally well without those benefits. Education at home does not work for every parent-child dyad or every situation and the only critical part of undertaking it (assuming no extenuating circumstances) is being able to recognize that and adjust if necessary.

If people are researching an answer online becaue they don’t know the basics themselves, how can they be confident in the answer. Sure, if you’re just happy to take the first google so be it. I’m not sure what your financial situation has to do with it

OP posts:
TMess · 05/09/2026 03:34

PDAalltheway · 05/09/2026 03:07

I don't teach. We use child-led autonomous learning. It's a completely different mindset. Of home edding parents who are qualified teachers, about 50% say that their teaching background is actively unhelpful because home ed is so very different.

If my children were limited by my experience & knowledge, they'd be in trouble. One of the things I don't like about school is that children’s learning is limited by their teachers' knowledge and experience, because so much learning is done by the teachers imparting their knowledge. I'd rather my children learn from people who really are experts in their subjects, which you have time to do in home ed, but often not in school. Lots of the areas my children have learnt about are ones in which their knowledge and understanding has far outstripped mine.

Mine both taught themselves maths, one taught themselves to read and a whole lot of other things. If you wait till the child is developmentally ready, it's much easier & quicker for them to learn things than if they're forced into someone else's timescales.

The main thing that home ed parents need is an attitude of curiosity about the world and the willingness to engage with their children in learning more about things they want to know about.

(I have always home educated my DC because I used to be a teacher and didn't want to inflict school on them.)

This is very true - I taught, but music so not the same scenario - but my friend who has had the most difficult time educating at home is the one who was a teacher for 15 years, because she had to unlearn how it “should” look. Our style of homeschooling is a little differ than yours but the main thing, imo, is letting them learn to love to learn. If one of my children has an extra question or interest I have almost limitless time to enjoy pursuing it with them.

TMess · 05/09/2026 03:35

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:22

If people are researching an answer online becaue they don’t know the basics themselves, how can they be confident in the answer. Sure, if you’re just happy to take the first google so be it. I’m not sure what your financial situation has to do with it

I think maybe googling home education would be helpful - I can only speak for myself and our local community but whatever you’re picturing sounds very foreign to me. 😅

lxn889121 · 05/09/2026 03:36

without meaning to offend any teacher reading this, I think you are vastly over-stating the skill of purely conveying knowledge + skills.

I say this as someone who taught previously, and now works in higher education, in education research.

The greatest difficulties and skills of primary and secondary school teaching are actually nothing to do with the basic transfer of knowledge and skills from teacher to student.

They are to do with making sure that transfer happens within such a difficult setting. 20-35 children, behavioral issues, schedules, ever growing administrative work, curriculum that can shift with the political wind, poor school management etc. etc.

That is the genius and skill of most teachers, being able to maintain the transfer of skills and knowledge, in an environment where everything is making it very hard.

Take that same teacher and give them 1 child in a nice home, and tell them to teach them the years worth of content.. and they will be done in a few months. It is that much more easier and efficient, dealing with a single child at home, than a class in a school.

So in short, home schooling parents (the good ones) don't need to be anywhere near as skilled or trained as teachers, because in general their role takes the most natural part of the job of teaching, and avoids almost all of the hardest parts.

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:40

TMess · 05/09/2026 03:35

I think maybe googling home education would be helpful - I can only speak for myself and our local community but whatever you’re picturing sounds very foreign to me. 😅

yes, I probably am underestimating the power of home learning. Hence why I asked the question.
forgive me for being curious

OP posts:
Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:47

It’s interesting I’m asking a question to learn, and being criticised for questioning a world I am not exposed to by the exact people who suggest home education has a lot more possibilities

OP posts:
PDAalltheway · 05/09/2026 03:56

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 03:09

But I imagine if you used to be a teacher you probably have the confidence and knowledge how to teach

Yes, I have the confidence and knowledge of how to teach - but I don't teach. We started off with a facilitating-rather-than-teaching mindset where really maths was the only thing I ever taught, but then we realised that our DC have SEN which means they are basically unable to engage with adult instruction so we had to bin any residual attempts to do that at all.

Being able to teach doesn't mean you are actually doing it. Facilitating learning is very different from teaching.

The PP who said that the main skill in teaching is how to pass on knowledge in the challenging environment of school rather than the skill of passing on knowledge generally was spot on IMO.

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:21

Where did home educators state they could do better?

I don't plan on doing the full curriculum till 18 as we don't have to follow the curriculum.

Yes, I have the confidence to teach my child.

How do you have the confidence to post this publicly?

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:22

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 01:53

Sorry, didn’t mean to offend. I guess I haven’t researched as it’s not been on my radar

As someone with a masters I'm surprised you're unable to do basic research before resulting to Mumsnet.

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:23

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:21

Where did home educators state they could do better?

I don't plan on doing the full curriculum till 18 as we don't have to follow the curriculum.

Yes, I have the confidence to teach my child.

How do you have the confidence to post this publicly?

Christ alive, touchy subject?

OP posts:
Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:24

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:22

As someone with a masters I'm surprised you're unable to do basic research before resulting to Mumsnet.

I wouldn’t think it’s basic to decide you’re going to home educate your kids? But if you did a quick google and thought “that’s for me” fair enough

OP posts:
ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:35

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:23

Christ alive, touchy subject?

Not at all. I love home education.

How do you have the confidence to post this publicly?

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:38

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:24

I wouldn’t think it’s basic to decide you’re going to home educate your kids? But if you did a quick google and thought “that’s for me” fair enough

You've misunderstood.

You stated you haven't researched as it's not been on your radar. My point was I'm surprised, as someone with a masters, that you are unable to do basic research on a subject before resulting to Mumsnet.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 05/09/2026 04:41

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:24

I wouldn’t think it’s basic to decide you’re going to home educate your kids? But if you did a quick google and thought “that’s for me” fair enough

Are you drunk? 😂

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:44

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 05/09/2026 04:41

Are you drunk? 😂

A little! Look, I’m a physicist, but if a 4 year old asked me
to explain newtons law of gravity, I’d be a bit stumped. I wasn’t intending to offend anyone. It was a genuine question regarding taking on home education

OP posts:
Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:46

ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:38

You've misunderstood.

You stated you haven't researched as it's not been on your radar. My point was I'm surprised, as someone with a masters, that you are unable to do basic research on a subject before resulting to Mumsnet.

That’s true, I should have written a thesis on my quandry first

OP posts:
ktopfwcv · 05/09/2026 04:49

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:44

A little! Look, I’m a physicist, but if a 4 year old asked me
to explain newtons law of gravity, I’d be a bit stumped. I wasn’t intending to offend anyone. It was a genuine question regarding taking on home education

We dumb it down. A bit like what I did in my previous post to you.

Askandyforcompo · 05/09/2026 04:53

I know 3 people who home educate . All 3 don't do much at all. One of them has a tutor for an hour a week but the rest of the time the child is left on his own with the computer. One of them does literally nothing with her 3 children. The other has books she's bought on line but only does an hour a day with them. All 3 work full time, kids left at home (in the care of the eldest child in two of the cases) It's shocking.

concertinacornflake · 05/09/2026 04:54

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 02:12

Adequate to cover primary curriculum maybe. Online courses fine…but when the kids ask “ how does such and such happen” and you have no idea….where then?

Are you really unfamiliar with the concept of learning outside the school system?

In this era people have ready access to reliable resources covering pretty much everything, in physical books or online resources.

concertinacornflake · 05/09/2026 04:57

Toodledootwo · 05/09/2026 04:44

A little! Look, I’m a physicist, but if a 4 year old asked me
to explain newtons law of gravity, I’d be a bit stumped. I wasn’t intending to offend anyone. It was a genuine question regarding taking on home education

You'd be stumped by that question?

Would it not occur to you to locate an age-appropriate resource and read through it with them?

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