Child sleeps on a mattress on the floor

[Ovenpizzasarerank]

Went for dinner and a playdate with my Ds new friend. Mum is very nice, child lovely. Ds called me upstairs to show me his friends lego building and his bed was a mattress on the floor, is this normal? Mum very bohemian, house very messy and not well looked after-I am not judging and these things don't bother me, my house needs painting and some new furniture, so I get it, but is a mattress as a bed ok?

I said "greater susceptibility" not all.

I haven't cast a judgement, just outlined why it can be a problem in British homes when it's culturally normal in other countries.

From what OP has described, it's ambiguous, and it's worth being aware of what is problematic in case it is past that threshold to being an unhealthy sleeping arrangement. Bed poverty is a genuine, widespread issue, and not always a healthy, well-informed choice, especially as children get older and able to sleep on a standard bed safely (in the absence of SEN adjustments).

100s of years ago, people used to throw their shit out of the window onto the street below, (when there were no proper sewage systems.) yet the human race survived!

Shall we start doing this too?

🙄

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It could be in the wash. We supposedly have 2 bedding sets per bed, but I'll be damned if I can find them all. So on wash day Ithe beds have no sheets.

Maybe the child is a bed wetter, and the duvet was out to air?

A one-off snippet isn't enough to judge.

Humans are indeed. But as time goes on we live and learn better ways to do things, through years of learning, science, biology. Having a child sleep with bugs and ticks in the past doesn't mean that it's actually a good idea going forward.

Where do you live that you’ve never seen a floorbed before? This is 2026 and it’s super common especially among upper middle class people. She may well have stripped the bed that day. The fact you say she’s bohemian just suggests she’s one of those Montessori types. Honestly it’s rife!

I slept on a futon for a while as a kid. As far as I know no one made a social services referral and I have lived to tell the tale.

I did have friends growing up who didn’t have beds but it was because they were poor. If she isn’t poor then it’s likely by choice or temporary. Children in poverty not having proper beds is a big issue, there are charities that provide them.

I agree that most people would hope to give their children the most comfortable start in life, and I am simultaneously pointing out that children did survive sleeping on (gasp) second hand mattresses on the floor, or lifted off the floor for ventilation on pallets.

I'll have you know, growing up I lived in a cardboard box....

But it wasn't a Montessori type one, those are beautiful. It was a matress. On the floor.

Floor beds usually still have a base though

@PrettyLittleRose

What exactly is 'happening ' to this child?

@Ovenpizzasarerank has started a thread and set hairs running based on a brief glimpse into a child's room on a play date.
She had said the child is cared for.
The only other thing she can come up with is that the house is untidy, and his clothes are old.
Is the kitchen overflowing with rubbish, maggots or flies, she hasn't said the bathroom smells to high heaven.
Every one is jumping to conclusions based on one thing which is that the sheet was in the wash.

Im away to do 2 days of washing up and have a bowl of cereal for dinner.

I think the fact it was a bare mattress is the thing that would bother me. Yes the sheets could be in the wash or whatever but if they're not then that's not great.

How? Clean bed linen. Turning the mattress regularly. As long as it doesn’t get wet it will be fine.

Some of the responses, including the OP, reminds me of the Catherine Tate sketches involving the wealthy mother with two children. I think there was one about a Northern nanny, and another involving a yoghurt that wasn’t organic.

You’ll be telling me next that the children eat chicken nuggets and Iceland baked beans.

Oh, the horror.

A change of linen, and a regular mattress turn will help. Putting the mattress on a pallet so it's ventilated from underneath is also going to make it healthier.

I had to do this for my DD when she first started having seizures in her sleep and falling out of bed. Was just until I saved up to get her a lower down small double and memory foam mattress. But that did the trick.

Maybe she’s just a bit of a hippie? I’m genuinely quite surprised you haven’t ever come across this. If there were no other signs of neglect and she isn’t struggling financially I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Have you had quite a sheltered life? I don’t mean this rudely but your other comment about mess made me think maybe you haven’t come across many bohemian type people before?

If you think about it a bed is a mattress on wooden slats so is almost the same. When we moved my DD has a high sleeper but due to the heat we couldn't get a fan up that high so we put her mattress on the floor so the fan would help her with the heat. I must admit I didn't feel massively comfortable with it but she was happy.

From IP’s description it seems unlikely the mattress wasn’t aired, though description is brief and if I was there I might have thought different. And I don’t know about the sheet. Which is why I said it wasn’t enough on its own to make me consider mentioning it to the school.

My eldest son refused for years to even sleep on a mattress on the floor! He wanted bare floor with a sheet over him and it didn’t matter how many different beds etc I tried he refused to sleep in them! As an adult he will sleep on a mattress now to keep me happy and occasionally a bed if in a hotel etc but loves a hard floor really 😂 it’s a sensory thing and he’s got autism which means a lot of his friends also with ASD also don’t want to sleep in a bed

Similar, had a little sleepwalker and it was safer for him
he still talks and walks asleep now he’s 19!

That doesn’t sound very clean to me sorry…

So was there no bedding?

Think it depends on the child. My youngest is being referred for hypermobility and uneven on his feet. I bought him a very low bedframe to avoid him injuring himself if he fell off it. It’s about 10cm off the floor.

Personally I wouldn’t just use a mattress as I’d worry it would go mouldy but I know quite a few people who use only mattresses for similar reasons.

@Aleveldilemma

My house is clean, the bathroom is clean, apart from the washing up the kitchen is clean, the floor is clean, the bins are empty, the laundry is done, bed sheets changed yesterday.
Apologies that being in the middle of cancer treatment means that some things slip.
You will no doubt be pleased to know that the washing up has now been done.

It’s one of them when if your wealthy it’s Montessori or scandi and stylish but if your poor it’s neglect.
My son will have a floor bed once he outgrows his cot I believe it’s the safest option for a young child.