Child sleeps on a mattress on the floor

[Ovenpizzasarerank]

Went for dinner and a playdate with my Ds new friend. Mum is very nice, child lovely. Ds called me upstairs to show me his friends lego building and his bed was a mattress on the floor, is this normal? Mum very bohemian, house very messy and not well looked after-I am not judging and these things don't bother me, my house needs painting and some new furniture, so I get it, but is a mattress as a bed ok?

It would be one thing if it was like a Japanese mattress because those are very popular but then again they are rolled up during the day they are not just lying on the floor the entire time. My adult son has one of those for his back in his own flat.

As for the state of the house it really depends some people are messy and it's fine because they manage to clean up people with ADHD and executive functioning issues sometimes can be a bit messy.

That said I have relatives who are hoarders so I know the difference clearly and the different levels of hoarding. op didn't give enough information to determine that

Montessori. My child had a mattress on the floor with a wigwam type frame above it so he could get in an out easily from when he was 1 and moved into his own room. His toys etc were set up so that they were all accessible for him to get out and use safely and start learning to put away again himself.

At 8 I’d say it’s less usual but there’s no problem with it. He may prefer it. He may be a restless sleeper and roll out frequently. Any number of reasons. My wealthy parent had my bedroom at their house set up in an attic room with sloped ceilings so I slept on a mattress on the floor there from 8 onwards during visits. It won’t get mouldy unless the house is damp and mouldy which well heated and ventilated houses generally aren’t. If someone has mould growing on furniture that’s a problem with house maintenance/ insultation/ heating/ ventilation.

@Ovenpizzasarerank

I really hope that woman is not on mumsnet and can recognise herself.
Are you happy that you have started a thread over a mattress and a bedsheet which is most likely in the wash.
Posters are suggesting you report her to school safeguarding, thats it gives crack den vibes, words like bohemian and hippy being used like a slur.
You said yourself that the child is cared for, that your child liked the bedroom.
So let's get down to the detail about what gives you concern
Is the kitchen clean or are the bins overflowing, actual rubbish on the floor, rotting food left out,
Was the bathroom clean - was there soap and towels
Did the house smell unpleasant, piles of unwashed clothes?
Or just a bit of clutter, a missing sheet and what you consider not a proper bedroom.

By the way, when I was growing up duvets hadn't made it over from the 'continent'. My bed had blankets aka throws.

The OP has described this boy as lovely, with good manners, she's said a few times that's she knows he's cared for, he's well fed and has nice clothes. She's described the mum as very nice, someone who was friendly enough to invite the OP and her child to dinner and a playdate - the impression I get from the OP's posts is a mum who's comfortable and confident in her home, without any hangups about new visitors to her home seeing areas such as her child's bedroom - she even encouraged the OP to go take a look at the lego set because she knew her boy had spent a lot of effort building it.

So why are some people judging, OP included, because there wasn't a sheet on the bed the one and only time the OP has ever seen this boy's room? The mattress on the floor is nothing out of the ordinary, I'm surprised the OP wasn't aware of this, but the lack of a sheet that 1 day could be for any number of reasons, such as the sheets being washed.

So you’re saying this kid has no toys or books or writing/ drawing materials etc? If that’s the case then you should probably have written your OP about that because yes, that is a sign of neglect. But then, you said you went to his room to look at his lego so clearly he does have toys?!

We used to prop ours in the day. It wasn’t an issue at all.

My friends very tall 8 yr old was still sleeping in a toddler bod, their feet were off the end. I did judge. It was ridiculous. Eventually replaced this year, a single mattress on a floor would have been much better

You can put just slats under and it solves the issue, loads of floor bed users do this who have floor beds for older babies and young toddlers. Very common among friends from Germany don't know if that's cultural or coincidence

Or you can keep turning and airing the mattress every couple of days which solves the problem (as I know for spending most of my nights on a thin mattress on the floor...)

Sheets could be in the wash? My bed currently only has bare pillows and a blanket on as the sheets are in the wash and I haven’t remade it yet. We also currently don’t have a duvet on as it’s been so warm we’ve just slept under the duvet cover

It could be the child is a sleepwalker, they fall out of bed frequently, they’ve just broken the bed, they could co sleep more often than not and the mattress is just in case the parent wants a space of their own.

You’re only seeing a very brief snapshot of this families life and based on this alone I wouldn’t be concerned.

I wouldn’t have a mattress on the floor but how is it different to a divan bed? You don’t get airflow in a divan?

If the child is well looked after I’d assume that it is a sensory issue or DM is a bit lazy given the rest of the house is a tip.
No sheets is not good.
It’s not very hygienic but not something that I would overly think about without other red flags.

It’s on feet or wheels, there is an airflow.

You say you’re not judging whilst making a post judging her and encouraging others to do the same?

Not to the mattress there isnt, most divans have a board that the mattress sits on, much like the floor

The divan base is hallow.

If you mean hollow, thats like the space between floor boards and the ceiling below, the joist area.

The bottom line is that people are vastly over exaggerating the 'dangers' of a mattress sitting flat on the floor and not understanding its the same as having it on a flat board on top of a divan bed.

You absolutely do, it's a wooden frame thinly covered in fabric which is breathable, plenty of airflow

Ours actually isn't because I hate the fact I can't get the hoover under and dust accumulates.

So this thread has got me a bit paranoid, but DH and I checked last night and there's no sign of mould. Not a trace.

My brother slept on a mattress when we young. We were poor though.

Yes, lots of people might do this because they can't afford to replace a broken bed.

I think lots of the comments on here are horribly judgmental, and it would be a perfectly reasonable way to cut cost corners if financially pressured.

Being poor doesn't make someone a bad parent. Every parent has a point at which they can't provide what they would like to provide and every parent will make different choices as to what to drop.

If it is a case of finances, this mum chose the toy model, which has brought him joy and sounds educational, over a bed frame.

He can sleep perfectly well on a mattress on the floor. In fact his spine might end up straighter. He might avoid a head injury falling out.

People just need to butt out sometimes. I am aghast at the suggestions to contact SS. They are there for children who really need to be removed from an unsafe or distressing environment.

Some people have different sorts of beds. Other countries sleep differently.

Comments here smack of small-mindedness.

No it isn't how I choose to have my dc sleep, but other people can have their child's bedroom look however they want tbh.

It's the lack of proper bedding that is the concern, surely, not the mattress?

To the mattress?

The wooden board is usually solid rather than slatted though? That’s not breathable?

It's not solid, what divan is solid wood? It's a box with gaps and airflow