To ask how often you encounter snobbiness?

[Thatuglywasp]

Before moving in with my partner I lived in a studio flat alone, in a perfectly good area. Not a very luxurious, well-to-do millionaires' row by any means, but not run-down or dangerous either, just perfectly normal, near to a big shopping area, hospital, just completely average.

Saw a friend and her husband and he said 'Oh that's not the best area of that place' when I said exactly where I lived. The friend then gave me a lift home at around 7pm and parked on the street. She asked me if I could walk her back to her car as she'd seen a man walk down that road and was 'scared'. Just a normal-looking man, walking down the road, no reason whatsoever to assume anything untoward.

They live in an area where footballers and real housewives' cast live so anywhere else probably seems like slums to them, but it was ott! I lived there for a year and had no issues whatsoever, I found the area very convenient.

I have a car from the 2010s with a 1.4 engine, it obviously hasn't got all the latest tech but it's a very reliable car known for its durability and is a good size, smooth, never had any problems with it only the usual servicing brake pads etc.. recently someone found out what car it was and said "Oh I assume that's only used for shorter trips then as it can't provide much comfort".

I didn't say anything but laughed to myself, they must think any car before 2020 is some sort of flintstones vehicle that will crumple if it leaves the postcode area, and newer cars eject champagne and canapés from the dashboard and some sort of business class experience.

I think people sometimes just say these things without meaning to be harsh, just stereotypes or comparing to their own lifestyles. I just roll my eyes internally, does anyone else have this?

Hard to define as a lot of what I witness with friends is indulging in luxury things. But they don’t judge others or look down on people because they don’t do those things. In fact, the wealthiest people I know are the least snobby.

We can all perhaps be a little bit snobby in our own ways and I know I can be a bit with food at times.

You do you. Snobs are going to snob. However, tbh the UK average area looks much worse compared to other places in Europe. Sad fact.

Even Ubers are much better here in Europe. All new cars and proud clean drivers. It is all so scruffy in the UK. 🫤

I think a lot of people are snobby but they are very good at hiding it.

Also, some people are snobby about wanting the best for themselves but they won’t care if others have something inferior.

I imagine this is the kind of snobbish comment the OP was referring to.

Honestly…. Never

On here, constantly.

In real life? Never.

There's nothing wrong with wanting nice things for yourself, but it's when they put other people down, there's no need.

Every time I see my MIL and almost every time I open Mumsnet.

Oh every day, in my own head. Other people are dreadful!

I’m an inveterate snob and I’ll happily admit it. But it won’t be about cars as I have no interest in them at all, including mine. Someone asked me what my husband drives and I said ‘a BMW 🤷🏻‍♀️’, later realised it’s an Audi.

Snobbishness or snobbery not snobbiness 😅

I think you're hanging around with some odd, materialistic, tactless people, to be honest, OP. I'm well aware snobbishness, in the sense of one social class looking down on another, exists (I was a working-class girl at a particularly grand Oxford college, which some people just couldn't get over -- a friend's parents' friend kept asking me at a dinner party in the vac whether I meant Oxford Secretarial College or Brookes), but that's a somewhat different thing to what you're describing, which sounds as if it's about possessions and postcodes.

Are these people really as materialistic and idiotic as they seem?

Snobbery*

Snobbishness or snobbery not snobbiness 😅

If this is happening often to you… then something is up

Oh I regularly hear it from my BIL . It's ironic that despite her looking very Middle England his wife I know came from a very tough background. She is not too bad about things but does have some very strange views on places and people. I was not raised in UK so a lot of the subtle differences go over my head.

Luckily it isn't that often, most people are respectful.

I remember someone looking down her nose at me when she found out which street I lived on, we were waiting to buy at the time (having relocated) so rented the cheapest place possible.

A couple of years later her husband was desperately sucking up to me as they realised I was very senior in an organisation he was desperate to work for. Ha.

It's ironic that despite her looking very Middle England his wife I know came from a very tough background

Sorry? What does looking middle England look like?

During Covid I dropped food and calpol off to a school mum who I didn’t know well at all. Her kids both had Covid and her husband was vulnerable and had to move out. I commented that I loved the planters she had at the front door and asked her where she got them…..she looked down her nose and stated that they were very expensive 🤣

All the bloody time.

I moved to a place that rough as arseholes (and that’s not me being snobby, it just is, everyone who lives here says it).

We know people who live on slightly nicer roads who make comments “god, how can you possibly live on that road!” And people who live in nicer towns who won’t even come here if they have nice cars incase they get nicked (it’s a fair point).

We used to live 200 miles away in a very nice part of west London. None of my old friends would lower themselves to visit here, some of the comments were really nasty and not fair on dh, who’s from this area originally.

We got priced out of where we lived, even renting, and had something terrible happen so we needed dh family so this was the only way we’d ever by a home and have any family support.

But my god, people are so fucking rude about it. I’m glad they have the money/circumstances not to live here. We didn’t. And depressingly, in the 6 years since we moved here, prices have risen so much that we wouldn’t be able to afford to buy our own house now if we didn’t already own it!

By far the worse though is the mother of one of dds friends who used to live a few doors so down. They bought there house 20 years ago when you could get a 3 bed semi here for 80k, took advantage of the huge increase in price, sold up and moved to a far nicer town ten miles away. My god, some of the things she comes out with when she drops her daughter off can be downright hurtful.

I do get a lot of inverted snobbery though as I have quite a posh accent that stands out a mile from the local accent (which dh has, so it stands out even more when I am with him!) People think I look down on them just because of how I speak. I don’t! My nickname was Kate Middleton at the school when dd first started. A couple of parents confessed it to me a year or so later when they got to know me and liked me and realised I wasn’t a snobby dickhead. I was just well spoken but shy.

I have had people make assumptions about my wealth based on my car too. Often if they have only seen me to chat to at a hobby pick up for the kids or school run they seem surprised when they come to our house /find out what I do. I think my little old runabout of a car makes them think we couldn't afford a big shiny new SUV but the reality is i just don't want one. I love my tiny car!

Increasingly from people who would claim to know better as they think they have impeccable manners.

I dont understand why she gave you a lift home then asked to be walked back to her car. Did she see you to your door and then you had to see her back to her car. That couldve gone on indefinately!

Snobby much