AIBU to think that this level of executive disfunction is human and normal?

[Threekandles]

Last Wednesday I took the upstairs bathroom bin bag out. There were no replacement bags in the drawer and I made a mental note to bring a bag up.

Every time since then I walk into the bathroom and think, oh yeah!! Bin bag!! And I mean to bring one up.

Every time I leave the bathroom, poof, clean out of my mind. Totally oblivious until the next time I walk into the bathroom.

The little pile of floss and loo roll tubes is neatly stacked and waiting for the bin bag. (this is not bothering anyone but me).

AIBU to think that while plenty of people would have remembered by now, there are also a great many people for whom this is entirely normal and typical?

Someone close to me is suggesting I have ADHD. I don't think I do. Or, I don't think my way of being is a problem for me or anyone around me.

I just don't think that forgetting a bin bag for a week is a big deal!!

(and yes, I could have replaced it 5 times in the time it took to write this post.)

I do this a lot so my solution after the umpteenth time I’ve forgotten is to take the bin downstairs and place it where I can’t miss it (middle of the hallway or kitchen for example). I’ve got in the habit of making visual reminders as it was getting so annoying.

Completely normal for me but I have a fateful combination of ADHD and the menopause.

The other day I went upstairs to do something, did nothing, didn’t even wonder what I was doing there, had forgotten I was even there to do something, just walked back downstairs again!

Yes definitely!

Totally normal. What would bug me more about this is that not one other person has done anything about it either and just watched the waste pile up so that would explain why you keep forgetting because you are the only person who is keeping on top of running the household so have far too much going on in your brain it is impossible to remember it all.
I am just 50 and I do feel I am not as good at keeping on top of things as I used to, as the kids get older and their lives more complicated I can't hold it all.

I forget things sometimes but I wouldn't forget every single time, and I wouldn't have thought neurotypical people forgot things like that all the time either. It's not NT people who have a reputation for having messy houses, it's ND people.

Why are you not putting the cardboard loo rolls in the recycling

I have adhd and do things like this all the time. Of course you can’t diagnose adhd on the basis of a bin bag. But this also doesn’t mean you therefore don’t have adhd. Maybe your friend has seen other traits too. So many people deny that they have it until they actually look into it and realise it explains everything (including me). I just didn’t know what it was until I looked into it. It may well not be anything to do with you! But if it is, it’s been very helpful to know. Try this - bring the roll of bin bags up and keep them inside the bin under the current bag, then you no longer have to go downstairs each time. My adhd symptoms have got dramatically more apparent in peri menopause and after kids. Zero recollection of things, important things, until something makes it apparent again. I can’t rely on my memory any more! Sure it’s similar for non-adhd women in particular at this stage of life.

Might depend how old you are? I started doing this in my late 60s and have good days where I don't do it at all but plenty of days when I repeatedly forget. I also had a more forgetful period around menopause and also just after I left my abusive H. It does tend to come and go.

What would remind me in your case OP was when I needed a bin liner downstairs and that would jog my memory and I'd take two out and take one upstairs.

It's normal but it would annoy me after a few times of this happening, so when I noticed the lack of bin bag I'd make a bespoke trip for the replacement at that moment rather than hoping I'd remember 'next time'.

It's normal.

Plus,not all forgetfulness- or even executive dysfunction in general - means ADHD even if it's impactful.

There is a genuine hack to fix the "forgot what you came into the room for" thing.

Your brain stores information based on location - so it's as if there's a folder in your brain for the kitchen, bedroom etc.

So normally you realise you want the scissors in the bedroom, and your brain saves the information "need scissors" to "bedroom". You leave the bedroom, and when you getting the "kitchen" folder, you don't have easy access to the "bedroom" folder.

To fix this, when you're in the bedroom, briefly visualise "getting the scissors in the kitchen". When you get to the kitchen, your brain now knows to follow the "kitchen" instructions you gave it.

This seriously works, and can be used however remotely (I use it to programme in actions in the morning when I wake up or get home).

Eventually your brain codes repeated action as routines and you don't need to create the reminder.

(There is a well-known memorising technique to visualise all objects on a tray in a particular room)

Seems completely normal to me.

I think that a certain degree of this is normal, particularly for women of a certain age. Of course it is a feature of executive functioning in ADHD but it is so much more than this. It is how I am all day everyday, but I also forget how to do everyday tasks such as how to set reminders and times on a mobile phone for instance, or how the microwave works. I have stepped into scalding hot baths on numerous occasions, because I haven't turned on the cold tap.

I do wish people would stop telling others they have ADHD, it really isn't helping our community.

We are buying hoison like this for last 6 weeks......

I’m as forgetful as the next person, but I’m a bit surprised by so many responses saying it’s normal to forget to replace a bin bag for nearly a week. And the pile of used floss that hasn’t been binned? Yuck.

How do the bin bags sit in the bin ready to be used, does anyone have a picture?

Yes totally me. I solved it by buying a roll of bags to keep in the bathroom cupboard.

All bins have bags at the bottom or in a cupboard in the same room. But I was talking about jobs in general..

Anyone who actually has ADHD would wish that this is what ED looked like for them.

I set my phone to go off every day with reminders and I only turn them off once I've done it.

I have adhd and this is a regular for me - actually I currently have a dog poo bag in my bathroom as I had one in my handbag last time I was upstairs as I have forgotten a proper bin bag a hundred times. This is just me - this is a lot of people. One silly thing does not make a person have any issues it just mean they forgot the bag. I am sick and tired of self diagnosed people with 'oh thats the adhd' or the ones that say everyone is a narcissist just because they put themselves first the odd time. The more people use 'buzzwords' the more they dilute actual issues people with a genuine diagnoses have and it is really frustrating.

Keep a roll of bin bags in the bathroom or put the whole roll in the bottom of the bin under the current bin bag. Can't help you with remembering to buy them.