AIBU to think that this level of executive disfunction is human and normal?

[Threekandles]

Last Wednesday I took the upstairs bathroom bin bag out. There were no replacement bags in the drawer and I made a mental note to bring a bag up.

Every time since then I walk into the bathroom and think, oh yeah!! Bin bag!! And I mean to bring one up.

Every time I leave the bathroom, poof, clean out of my mind. Totally oblivious until the next time I walk into the bathroom.

The little pile of floss and loo roll tubes is neatly stacked and waiting for the bin bag. (this is not bothering anyone but me).

AIBU to think that while plenty of people would have remembered by now, there are also a great many people for whom this is entirely normal and typical?

Someone close to me is suggesting I have ADHD. I don't think I do. Or, I don't think my way of being is a problem for me or anyone around me.

I just don't think that forgetting a bin bag for a week is a big deal!!

(and yes, I could have replaced it 5 times in the time it took to write this post.)

This is what lists are for! As soon as you think about a job that needs doing, write down a reminder (or on phone).

What you described is totally normal. Write a list and tackle the job in your own time.

Maybe ADHD is just very normal.

I think it’s called the ‘doorway effect’, where your mind clears itself so it’s ready for what is happening in the new room. When you go back to the bathroom you remember it again

Perfectly normal - I get constantly distracted with things going on. Not everything in life means something like ADHD. 🙄

Same I’m currently in this state but with sink and plug hole unblocker. It’s not totally blocked just annoyingly slow draining. It’s been about 8 weeks now 😬🙈

It's fairly normal, I think. So what you do is adopt some of the strategies suggested for people with ADHD.

The roll of bin-bags lives in the bin, with the top one opened out for use. A spare roll of bin-bags is in the bathroom cabinet with a post it note on. When you put the new roll in the bin you stick the post it noté on you until you write it on your shopping list, then goes on the new replacement toll in the cabinet.

It is a combo of ADHD tips and a Kanban pull system

What’s normal though. I’d not be able to stand it, so may have left it a day but then sorted it. Well I’d have taken the rubbish down to the outside bin. But I wouldn’t link that to adhd.

but everything is linked to some type of neurodivergence now I find. My friends child is autistic and quite a lot of the traits she has I have or can see in myself as a teenager - but mine were all because of childhood trauma and anxiety I’m not autistic.

Of course it’s human - there isn’t a single person on this planet who remembers everything all the time.

Totally normal. I now leave a roll of bin bags upstairs. But I constantly walk past the pile of washing sitting on the sofa waiting to go upstairs.😀

Of course it's normal.

What isn't normal is doing the same or similar ten times a day or having to cope with it by keeping one of everything you might need in a room (loo roll, bin bags, glasses, pens, wet wipes, tissue box..), have reminders set everywhere, place trip hazards so you can't leave the house without something important, and get letters from banks about accounts you forgot you had, and others from credit cards fining you for not making a payment that was due even though you pay it off in full every month, plus the rest, all at the same time. And have a constant running monologue in your head all your walking hours, sleep badly if at all, and can listen to two or more conversations at the same time.

If you do that too then your friends would probably be right.

Keep a roll of bin bags in the bottom of the bin itself, under the bag you are using. Admittedly you have to replace this every so often but it means the task of removing and replacing is simultaneous, you always have the right size bags to hand, and you can delegate the task to those in the house that weaponize their incompetence by saying 'I have no idea where you keep the replacement bags'

It’s totally normal to do that.

Why does every little trait in our daily lives have to be ADHD!! is it so benefits can be claimed!?
Whatever next!

I can be just like this, and I put it down to having a thousand things to do in the house at any one time.

No doubt some would scream "ADHD, get a diagnosis!"

We used to call this sort of thing "normal life".

Isnt this completely normal?

I am absolutely NT. But nobody is completely productive, all the time, surely everyone has that constant list of stuff in an ideal world they would sort but ultimately life is busy with many distractions?
Every weekend i think ooooh i'll write a list of jobs to get done today and work through them.... Do i get them done? Do i heck. Start job no. 1 which snowballs into a side issue, get to lunchtime and realise nope didn't manage it.
Example:
List might start with no.1 clear out the fridge, no. 2 go round emptying all the bins, no. 3 sort out the understairs cupboard
In clearing out the fridge you find a few bits close to date and think oh ill make a quick dish with those and freeze the portions, saves waste... Now you are cooking and never get to item 2.

This is totally normal!!!

I set reminders on my phone and always have, or I'd drop the ball all the time. It also gets it out of my head and means my head is clearer and not full of niggling little things to do.

What did concern me was approaching menopause and new ways to forget appeared. Such as forgetting a word in the middle of a sentence, or not remembering I'd just made a coffee and finding one sitting on the machine. HRT has helped immensely.

If I don’t go and get a couple of loo rolls from upstairs as soon as I notice the downstairs loo is running low, I can guarantee that someone - probably me - will be caught short.

There should be a word other than procrastination, for ‘CBA just at the moment to run up (or downstairs) for whatever.’

Though if dh is in his lair (aka study), I have been known to yell up and get him to chuck 2 or 3 down.

Normal. My memory is appalling. I often start tasks and get distracted and it takes me ages to complete the first task. I'm always late as I try and fit more things in if I have extra time. My brother has adhd he is hyper all the time it affects his whole life with his poor decision making skills, impulsiveness, expelled from school, always late, hard to hold a job down. I think people just seem to think it's fashionable to say I've got adhd now for basic personality traits. I think I just have shit concentration skills and need to be more organised not Adhd.

Have you tried keeping the bin bags in the bin all attached to each other and you just have to open the top/first one and put it around the bin edge? 🥰

Ahhh, another ADHD bashing thread. If all you’re doing is forgetting a bin liner no you haven’t got adhd. There are stringent criteria which need to be met to get diagnosed with ADHD, adhd often has a devastating impact on people’s lives. You just have a stack of loo rolls!

Yy, the threshold effect.
I came, I saw, I forgot what I wanted to do in there.

Interesting.

Could this explain the occasions when you go in to a room to do or get something and then, when you get there, forget entirely what it is you came for?

Similarly friends have asked if I think I have ADHD. I do not think so (I am qualified to assess; although I appreciate at times it's hard to see things in yourself).

I believe the contributions for me are:
I have small children
I'm blooming tired
I have a hugely busy and responsible NHS job
I have 4 devices pinging some new electronic demand at me every 2s
In short, my executive demands greatly outweigh my executive resources
I also have a hormone condition which essentially means I am menopausal in my 30s

This is one reason why comprehensive assessment is so important

Yes normal. Agree with a previous poster who said we have pathologised normal behaviour into being a ‘sign’ of something.

Do you know ADHD tends to sit either towards the attention deficit side or towards the hyperactivity side, and is also inherited? Just saying .....

Here's the answer - put the bin bags in the bathroom cupboard so that they are on tap when you take the old one away!

Your brain is fine!