To ask about adults using gay as an insult

[Cryinglightning45]

I've heard grown men over 40 calling other straight men 'gay' for things they've worn, done, said etc. E.g. a man wearing a pink shirt. That they don't deem masculine enough. I've heard this in my workplace, social events and so on, these are often men with wives and kids.

Am I too sensitive or is this completely unacceptable? How would they feel if their children were gay? It just makes me sick.

I know some of the younger generation use gay to describe things like extra homework, losing a game and so on without any homophobic meaning behind it.

It's not okay, they're immature. They're embarrassing themselves.

Honestly… not heard that since I was in sixth form 30 years ago

It's a so whatism for me.

Really? Not homophobic?

That is blatantly homophobic and I've not heard anything like that since the 90s

Am I too sensitive or is this completely unacceptable?

Did you really just ask if homophobia is acceptable??

Who are these men in your life OP? You poor unfortunate thing!

Oh is this the new partner you were asking about red flags about yesterday?

I haven't heard anyone use that as an insult since I was about 13 - over 20 years ago.

A grown man who thinks another man appears gay for wearing a pink shirt, and uses gay as an insult is so emotionally stunted and lacking in critical thinking skills that I would be concerned about his ability to contribute anything worthwhile to the workplace.

It isn’t any different to using Jewish, black etc as an insult.

The only people I hear calling things gay as an insult nowerdays are my very gay friends 🤣

I haven’t heard of anyone doing this since the time of the inbetweeners - 15 years or so ago. Very outdated now.

Ds and I were talking clothes and he was saying his shirts were too short and looked a bit ? And I said gay? Thing is ds is gay - it wasn’t an insult it was a descriptor - I could have used camp I suppose but it would have meant the same thing.

In what way do camp and gay mean the same thing?

Bloody hell it’s like being back in the 80’s. This is so wrong and so homophobic.

Really? Do you never travel on public transport at school kicking out time?

They're calling each other melts or 'so gay' all the time.

The thing is, it is homophobic, it's using the word gay to denigrate something, thus implying, whether intentionally or not, that being gay is a bad thing. It's one of those things that used to be considered acceptable by people who were a bit unthinking, but it isn't now. Whether it's a married 40+ person or a teenager.

How can an item of clothing look gay? Unless it’s based on a stereotype of what a gay person might wear
OP , it’s homophobic and I haven’t heard it since I was a young teen 20 years ago

As a teacher I sometimes heard this and challenged it every time. Some pupils were genuinely surprised that it was homophobic to use the term gay as a slur. U would think grown men would know better

If they're in their 40s then they've probably just never stopped using it when they were teens, that was about 20-25 years ago it started.

Same when people make that noise when they're implying someone is stupid, it came from a playground insult based on Joey Deacon who was on Blue Peter at the time. People use it now but wouldnt know thats where its from.

well then they’re twatty men in their forties

Things that are gay... being in a single sex relationship.

Things that arent gay... hobbies, clothes, looks, food, books, homework....

Have you gone to meet the new boyfriend's friends then @Cryinglightning45 ?