Right so child/ sibling and their partner would host occasionally. They would word process invitations with specific names on the invitations.
This is going to be long…
Two weeks ago we were at a saddish/happyish occasion to remember a deceased elderly member of my dad’s family. They had had a direct cremation and this was a kind of get together in the bar of a sports club. I did notice that my mother was crying at one point but my dad and uncle and aunt were with her.
So it turns out sitting outside an open window so my mother heard everything was my sister-in-law and my cousin-in-law.
There was a general conversation about keeping in touch etc. but SiL announced that we were all bloody hard work.
They invite us and instead of accepting or declining we assume other people are also invited I assume
elderly grannies visiting in-laws for the day.
We try and negotiate the inclusion of other fuckers who have nothing to do with us, of a stepchild and a newish partner and their child.
And once one of the fuckers (my husband) gets up to go and collect a child that they said wasn’t coming then asked for food for him. My eldest was at a DofE thing so we went for lunch at 1:00 and he went to collect eldest at 4:00 and I admit I asked for a sandwich for him.
And then she said something like then on the day when you’re cooking, the phone calls start, asking if they can bring something or someone. Too fucking exhausting and she refuses to have us again.
This conversation my mother overheard and we actually want to tell brother what was said.
I think this is a normal family dynamic but SiL clearly thinks differently.
Would you say something?
Is your family like us or is SiL right?