To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

@Grammarnut - As for your booking I think you should consult consumer protection

That would not get OP anywhere.

It was clearly stated on the website that hen parties are not allowed. MoH ignored this so she and the hen party were in breach of a fundamental term of the contract. The property owner was therefore entitled to treat the contract as ended when the group turned up and they found out it was a hen party. As there was clearly no opportunity to mitigate their losses by letting the property to someone else, the owner is entitled to keep the money.

This.

Also OP still hasn't confirmed how much they spent on the additional accomodation

Yes because it is what they paid for that accommodation that is the unbudgeted for amount. Could this be resolved by dropping the complaints but reducing wedding gifts?

However imo that should be a reduction of the cheaper replacement accommodation cost, which is the only amount the hens hadn't budgeted for.

I was going to say YABU till I read the latest updates. I was willing to give MoH the benefit of the doubt- that perhaps the owner had changed T&Cs since she booked following the recent indecent, or MoH missed the T&Cs.

Then your update cleared that up because the owner directly contacted her and explicitly said hen parties would not be permitted and you all could have been refunded at that point. You’ve now all lost money because she ignored the warning so yes, I think she should reimburse you all.

I agree in that the moh should be asked to refund the cheaper place as that was the extra cost. You can spin this as a “compromise” but factually that’s what you spent that wasn’t budgeted for in advance.

After this I can see MOH's will not want to book places to stay for hen nights. I haven't checked but there must be places where hen groups are welcome. For future MOH's check the details and T&C's of the place before booking would be good advice.

Any reply from MOH OP?

I think this too.

Looks from the rest of posts that MoH was flying a kite. Agree, the Winter Gardens is wonderful. Also, the Grand (which is a volunteer run theatre) has a stunning ceiling and decoration.

Yes - I think this is the way to go

You dont have to be a bitch about it, just ask the question.

How much would the moh have to refund?

It’s not like the information was hidden in small print on a website though, and then ‘surprise’. The MoH was specifically sent an email that informed her no hens were permitted and if it was a hens to cancel within 7 days and money would be refunded. The MoH just chose to ignore this.

But if what the Bride has said is to be believed, the original property posting said that if you wished to book for a Hen Weekend, you had to ask permission first prior to booking and the other Hens will have assumed she did before making the booking.

Then the MOH got an email 14 days before the visit was due saying strictly no Hen/Stag do's due to recent events so if you are an undisclosed one, you can cancel now and get a full refund up to 7 days prior to the booking. She did not mention this to the rest of the hens and she ignored it - she gambled with their money and lost. And she lied about it when they rocked up at the venue in party mode and were denied entry That is why she is responsible.

& @PinkFrogss The MOH has disclosed to the Bride post event that when she booked, the T&Cs stated no hen/stag do's unless by prior agreement. She did not get prior agreement nor did she tell anyone fromt he sounds of it.

Then the Accommodation had a problematic hen/stag do and presumably wrote to all future bookings saying no hen/stag do's and offering a refund within a certain time frame. The MOH did not tell her fellow hens, she ignored it and gambled and she lost.

So the landlord didn't change the terms, he was in fact quite generous given she had ignored them, gave her a chance to get the full money back and rebook - but she ignored it and that will not reflect well on her.

If I'd been there, I wouldn't have been able to pay for a hotel and would have had to just go home, having budgeted in advance for the £300. I couldn't just pay upfront for a hotel stay at the end of a month.

As you say the MoH is quite rich, I can kind of understand her chancing it. She was only given 2 weeks notice that hen parties were definitely banned (I think you said the vandalism incident happened a couple of weeks ago?) and, having planned a hen party myseelf, sorting new accommodation that everyone agreed to, collecting more money, refunding other money etc would have been a huge additional stress. She thought it would be a key safe and didn't think you'd cause damage. An understandable chance to take, I think. BUT only on two provisos: 1) that she was prepared to pay for either new accommodation or refund the original accommodation if the risk did not pay off.
2) she told you about the risk, got agreement from at least the bride and gave people the opportunity to pull out for a refund. Not keep quiet and give people a nasty shock on the day.

I would reply on the group to the person who has posted saying something like: "I agree, I'm afraid - I appreciate the amount of work and stress that went into organising it but I just can't afford to lose that much money. Is it worth appealing to the cottage owner again for at least a part refund? Or would you be able to refund us in installments?" It's a bit passive aggressive but I struggle to be assertive and a message like that might make her think about her position of affluence compared to many of you and think 'sod it, I'll just pay the £3000'.

Way to alienate anyone who seeks a girls getaway north of Watford gap. One can only assume you have a dim view of the North as you’ve never been out here or choose to venture far from the ‘home counties.’ Yawn.

No the MoH should not refund you. As grown women you should have researched where you were going independently and raised it before you handed money over. You all need to accept some culpability here.

You have a fairly clear case with the moh to take to small claims (all together as one claim) in that she was taking your money to provide accommodation and did not.

I really want her to reply in writing to explain why refunding you is not possible. The only reason I’d maybe accept is poverty and a payment plan. But I like to see her argument why no refund is due to you by her. And I’d not care if I never spoke to her again, it’s unlikely you would be matey at the wedding (civil obviously but would she even come near you anyway?)

She replied late last night:

-In short - ‘tough luck re. out of pocket, obviously didn’t plan for that to happen’
-‘£300 in 2026 isn’t what it was in 2016 so fortunate we didn’t pay more’, referenced another hen she has coming up abroad which is costing nearly £2000 for her to attend for the weekend.
-She had the stress of organising and booking whilst really busy with work.
-She paid for ‘lots of extras’ over the weekend and didn’t ask for any contributions.
-Gave everyone a great weekend away and sorted the new accommodation quickly and at a cheap price.
-Is really busy with work this week so is leaving the group chat
-‘Don’t ruin the wedding for our friend’

That just about covers it, it was a lengthy message. No one has replied, she hasn’t left the group yet either.

I cannot fathom the level of vitriol being hurled at this woman who -

1. Singlehandedly organised and paid upfront for a group of ten people, many of whom she didn't know
2. Covered the bride's share TWICE

She effed up. We've all done it. There's no reason to assume she consciously 'gambled'.

300 might not seem much money to her but 2400 would especially as she has already paid out about 1k.

OP did anyone think to thank her or was it all just hostility and accusations? I would say she is dreading the wedding. I'd never speak to any of you again and feel sorry for the bride that her other friends are such a pack of tight, joyless dickheads. Nobody helped her organise, nobody contributed to the cost of the bride and now here you are with your hand out for compensation. She's not a professional service, she tried her best I'm sure.

In my circles there would be no question about us all sharing the cost.

Sorry, it was £130 each.

Please read all my posts before spouting such drivel, which I’ve already covered.

🙄

I'm sorry what now?
Trashy Northern City?
Hopefully you're down south FFS.

I am, thankfully.

Fantastic news.
Stay there.

Then I’d go back to the what’s app group and ask for that amount as a compromise (or “to draw a line under it”).

130 times 8 is much more affordable than £3k.

then at least you are all clear where you stand and can decide what to do post wedding (small claims though your proof is all based on brides word who may not want to be involved)