Upper Middle Class not well travelled AIBU?

[Tabbytiger122]

There are some very wealthy folk we know & some I'm acquaintances with on fb from college. All seem to run off similar schedule for holidays... Christmas skiing in France/Switzerland (same place every year) Midterm said place again, summer is always spent somewhere in France ,Italy or Greece (but always the same town)
That's it never different countries... it seems to me they are not well travelled & that familiarity is more important than going somewhere new for the heck of it! Aibu?

She’s just making an observation, no need to be so offensive

I don't see anything wrong with returning to a favourite place year after year. When I was going on holiday with my parents, we went back to the same hotel in the same resort for about 7 years running. We all loved the place, it suited us all perfectly, it was familiar, and we used to meet up with the same adults/children each year, who were obviously doing exactly the same thing! Later we had a villa in Spain which we visited about 3 times a year, we could leave our personal stuff there so no need to haul large suitcases around which was great.

I'm done with travelling somewhere new just for the sake of it - I've been to the USA, Middle East, Hong Kong, the Caribbean, a good proportion of Europe, and now I prefer staying home anyway!

We go to the same place every year - we like it there. We spend 10k-ish on the certainty that we’ll have a good time. To us, it’s a lot of money to waste/risk on somewhere new. I don’t particularly like travel - airports, the plane, queuing, all a bit overrated for me!
Went backpacking a bit when young but it was really pretty unpleasant. I have a rule that if it’s not nicer than where we live I’m not going!

I think this post has hit on some interesting points, especially that cheaper travel and package deal travel has taken the exclusivity out of far flung places.

I think now dashing about all over is seen as not having found your niche/ a nice enough destination, or even as being driven by what you picked up cheaply when you looked online.

I do think the curious should continue to be curious, but if, on the other hand, you have found something you all love, why not repeat it? Devil's Advocate might just say you've never found an experience nice enough to want to keep returning op.

Also you don't stop getting exposure to new cultures just because you re-visit: you deepen your understanding. And maybe some see that as more valuable than a tourist view of dozens of places.

I live in a very wealthy area full of people who work in banking, went to Oxbridge etc and a huge number of them do the types of trips you describe regularly but many have also done the US, Japan, South Africa. Also, many people would’ve travelled to more adventurous places before having children but don’t want to travel across time zones with young kids.

I’m extremely fortunate to be in a high income level and have done the US and South Africa multiple times with my children and also Japan and all over Europe. Prior to having kids DH and I went to places like Russia and India which I wouldn’t do with young kids.

What is also interesting is this terminology "done": we have "done this place."

It sounds like box-ticking more than really experiencing.

I think you'll find The Beckhams 🤢 etc go to the same places . Mind you they are definitely not upper class

I am curious though about what 'well-travelled' means to you. Travelling to lots of different places doesn't necessarily mean much in itself. It's possible to go to a different identikit resort in a different country every time you go abroad. That's just ticking countries off on a map.
I think the idea of being well-travelled to me has a sort of assumption behind it about what travelling should be for - that it's some sort of personal growth or learning experience related to engaging with different cultures and acquiring new knowledge and perspectives.

Thank you so much for this, @DiscoElysia - I came on to say exactly this, but you have expressed it so much more eloquently than I.

There are so many parts of the world which hold little interest to me...I lived in Japan, but rest of the Far East has little fascination. I have no ambition to go there. Likewise, South/Central America. At 10, I read every book I could find on the Maya, the Inca etc, but now...nah. Just nah. I went through the Panama in 1972 en route to the UK, Panama City back then was a shithole of gangsters. America? Been to New York...you can keep it. Newfoundland was lovely, but then, I have family connections there back to 1773.

BUT...the Classical World, oh yes, please...DH and I went somewhere in the Med maybe 5-7 x per year. Not to lie on beaches, not to get sun (too much of that in my youth), but to explore, to absorb, to revel, to consume like the richest banquet, the sweetest wine imaginable. Every ruin, every obscure and overlooked site...we did the entire Limites Romani - the Roman borders, except Libya. Degrees in Classical languages and culture, so these places are as breathing air, as meat and drink to us. Do I want to go to Bali? Like hell. Vietnam? Nah, DH was there in the 70s, gun in hand. India?...just possibly, for the Alexander effect, but not now-too old. See, there's travel, and then there's travel. Concerning tastes there's no dispute - the reference might be familiar to some.

Their holidays, their choice. No one has a right to implement their choices on other people!

For us the advantage of going to the same place is that we get to know it better and get to know people there. We go to a small town in Normandy and it seems familiar. We are recognised there.

We have family that go Disney World every year. We like to go back to a different country each time. Different boats for different folks. Neither are right or wrong

Travelling widely is not an obligation. People have different preferences.

I have not noticed that extensive travel makes people more sensible or well informed, though it gives them plenty to bang on about.

I don't think it's a class thing, I've been on many holidays and seen families there that go every year without fail, know all the staff by name, have fancy dress costumes in their luggage etc. I think part of it is just not having the faff of aclimatising to a new environment. Not my cup of tea, but each to their own.

I think being upper middle class and wealthy gives you all the comfort of choices. Nothing to prove, go where they want to go, do what they want to do.

They probably want comfort and luxury guaranteed and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I agree with this, and add that the "professional social media travelers" give most people I know the ick

I think this is the key. What are you looking for from your holiday?
If fancy foreign holidays are a luxury, and you dontk now you can go every year, it makes sense to maximise your experiences and go to different places.
If you know you'll be going on four holidays a year and moeny isn't a big deal and you've had a few years of trying different places, probably done the exotic stuff at a younger age anyway, then consistency has an advantage. You know the place, you can probably be more relaxed about the kids doing stuff (and my understanding of skiing is that yo can offload the kids as much as you like), you're paying for something you know you'll enjoy, the kids can learn to ski / speak a language etc. And if yo mu ever fancy a change, you can just book a couple of weeks in Mauritouor a cruise around the arctic circle and it won't affect the rest of your holidays.

We go to Wales every year because we're poor working class 😂 so if I had moeny for fancy holidays I'd want to go every where, but I can why you'd develop comfortable favourites if you knew you could always just book something.

I'm very much on the same wavelength. I don't think I'd ever pass as upper middle class (whatever that entails), but we do by now have a decent amount of money to throw at holidays. We tend to stay in really nice houses in the Lakes, the Scottish Highlands or the south of France - and we'll often go back to the same place twice or more - basically places that are driveable so we can take loads of gear and where we know we'll have a great time.

We have been further afield a few times but each time have come to the conclusion that it was more hassle and not actually any better as a holiday than our regular haunts. Plus even though we have been to the Highlands and the south of France many times there's loads of it we haven't seen - I guess we like filling in the detail of places (vs the type to spend a weekend in Paris, get a photo of the Eiffel Tower and pronounce they've thus 'done France').

I will say, though, that I am looking forward to being able to spend much longer chunks of time abroad once I've jacked in work, at which point I expect we will be heading off to much further-flung climes.

You do realise other people can be different to you?

I think wealthier types travelled more from a younger age and had the chance to discover what really suited them. Then they stuck to it. I think lots of people are like that.

I've occasionally stayed in National Trust holiday cottages. When you read the guest book, so many people write "We come to this cottage every year", or'This is our sixth visit to the cottage". There's a lot to be said, when you have a young famiy, or when you are elderly, to stick to a place that suits your needs well.

Perhaps the time fortravel experimentation is when you're young and fancy free!

It's their life. They can do what they like.
If that's what they enjoy why does it matter?

I find the " one upmanship" about holidays extremely annoying. The idea of a holiday is to get a break from your normal routine. And if you achieve that what does it matter to other people where you go to or how much you spend?

A lot of people seem to make holidays their hobby. Fine if they want to do that. Their choice. But it's frankly quite boring when they bang on about their holidays ad nauseum.

I am now middle class but grew up working class/lower middle. DH the same. We very rarely go back to the same place twice (I think one hotel in Thailand pre kids as we got a great deal on it to return and of course that middle class staple center parcs!) and I feel exactly the same as you 😂. People at work who earn loads of cash and could clearly go anywhere going back to the same places. I have wondered the same thing, is it familiarity? Saw some other posters had suggested language learning which is a point I hadn’t thought of but it’s not that in most of the cases I know. I get really excited about taking us and the kids to new places! Not that I care or judge what other people do, but I’m glad it is not just me that is curious about this.

What is also interesting is this terminology "done": we have "done this place."

It jumped out at me, too.

I really dislike the verb "done" when it comes to a country! Even "doing" a single city is annoying, but to say you have "done" a whole country really rubs me up the wrong way!

For me it can be someone with a title, Sir, Lady. But not aristocrats. So upper middle. Sometimes the title comes with the job. Or inherited.
Pretty much at the top of their profession. Or old money.
Someone who has a professional job eg. KC barrister. Senior consultant.
That is upper middle class.
New money will not be upper middle class. But might marry someone who is and have a chance to elevate themselves in doing so. They might not always be successful though.

Exactly! Mumsnet is wild! It's a discussion board & it is something I observed this summer & was wondering if others noticed similar. But in Mumsnet observation is always "judging" 👌