To not want to spend my staycation watching tv

[Thosecandlesdontmatch]

All the family is off for three weeks together. It’s the most we’ve ever been off. We are going away for a couple of nights an hour away at the end of the holiday.
We live in a tourist area with lots to do.
We’ve had some mornings at the beach and at some attractions, but we seem to be having lots of days just at home.
Dh goes on his computer and Dc play or watch tv, but I feel that we’re wasting our time together and it wasn’t how I imagined it.
I would love to at least go out every morning, maybe relax in the afternoon, then some nights out locally or back to the beach.
Dh seems happy and says he just wants to relax

Would you be happy with having whole days inside?

OP says they have plans to go away for a few days, and that they've gone to the beach and to local attractions several times as well. Unless they're already right at the end of the three weeks, that all sounds very normal?

If your husband CBA, just you go out with the children. Don't let him force you to stay in all the time just because he CBA.

Surely an 8 year old wants to be doing things? Are you NT/EH/HH members? Plan days out. Is your child into Pokémon. They have Pokémon things at NT places this summer. 8 is old enough to hike or go for a decent bike ride. I took my 8 year old up Meall a'Bhuaaille this time last year (obviously wouldn't do that this year what with the wildfires!). It was such an achievement for him!

I would just plan things in and let DH know what you are doing and it's up to him then if he wants to join in with family activities or sit on his own shut up inside, missing out on summer and time with his family.

The heatwave is over and it's just perfect pleasant sunshine now, mild enough to go out and be active. I would be so sad to miss these last few weeks before the weather turns for the worse.

The OP has said they haven't been out of the house since Sunday. I mean yes, with the latest update if the child (children) are playing with friends, that's a bit different. Sitting in watching TV for three days not quite so good IMO. I mean, I get what you are saying as I am never bored and was never bored as a kid with my own company but I did have a tendency to watch too much TV. My parents would then realise it's not great and take me to an Art gallery, museum, theatre or a half a day forest, beach, landmark walk. But they were quite random and my Dad did things spontaneously so it was a bit of anti- climax when back to the mundane.

I think time off at home looks different for everyone. Personally I’d hate your idea of being out at some point every day. I want my time off to be relaxed and not with enforced outings.

If you need to be busier that’s completely fine, crack on and plan some activities but it’s not fair for you to assume that everyone should join in.

We don't have kids, but DP and I will sometimes spend a day off at home pretty much on screens and reading books. It still feels like 'us time'.
But I do like to break it up with a morning walk to a nice park and/or somewhere to have or pick up lunch or a treat. And if it's longer than a day I like to intersperse quiet indoors time with days out.
I think it basically sounds OK, but have you suggested that you all do something that involves going out together even on quiet days? Like a walk on a nice morning or an afternoon trip out for ice cream.

I wouldn't no, but I'd take myself off and do the things you want to by myself.

I'd probably also be having a talk with DH re what his lack of engagement in family life means for our marriage.

Perhaps not every day, have remembered I took Dd out to the library & playground on Monday, so have been in for two days, perhaps doesn’t seem that long, but want to get out tomorrow.
I just think when we’re all back at work and school, it will feel like a bit of a wasted time

But why lack of engagement? We are all
in the same room

If he's engaged with the family while he's doing what he does on PC, good for him, although it seems unlikely.

But if you don't have a problem with that, what's the problem?

I do understand your frustration and the feeling like it’s time wasted I have a friend who’s exactly the same. For me though, if I do too many things on my time off I go back to work feeling like I haven’t even had a break at all.

It’s not wrong to want to see something other than your living room though I just think people’s needs / energy levels are different.

Have a chat with DH see if you can mix it up a bit

We are the same but we’ve realised that if we go out and do anything other then a walk, we seem to spend ££££ on hardly anything. Days out even locally are so expensive. We are mixing it up with some lazy days and some organised day trips eg visit a nearby city on a train and visit a large zoo. But the price of even just having tea, coffee and cake out is now astronomical for a family. But how many local walks and beauty spots can we do? We live in a beautiful area with a fair few tourists and we’ve done everything there is to do here.

He’s not playing games, is doing designs for his hobby and does chat. I don’t mind as long as it’s not all the time, which it might be if I didn’t make arrangements, which does annoy me it’s true

Yep this is true too! Staying in for two days has saved us money so we can’t do buying things daily

we’ve done everything there is to do here.
If you live in a beautiful area, surely you can and want to enjoy walking in it/visiting beaches/woods/whatever the nice things are in your area more than once?

Can’t you just do some things separately?

I have met up with my friends twice, but many away now on holidays and would like to do things with my family

I think there's a balance... organise a proper activity every few days, but I think kids do enjoy the chance to just chill out at home and play without everything being too structured

On the low key days you could have mostly chill out time but maybe do something together in the evening like pop to the beach for a game of bat and ball and/or fish and chips, or have a pizza evening where you get (or make) dough and a load of toppings and all make your own pizzas, or a bbq if the weather is nice (and fire risk kept to a minimum), or a popcorn and family movie evening, or a bike ride/dog walk.

Have family meeting.
suggest that you do at least one thing every other day.
so, a day of chilling and a day of an activity or outing.
make a spider chart if all the things you’d all like to do and put them on a calendar.

Can you call a family meeting where you all brainstorm and list what you want to do?
activities
food ideas
ways to chill alone
ways to chill together
new things to try
new places to go

then discuss them all and agree on them all together and write it all up and put on calendar so you can balance the shape of the weeks? It feels much better to know youve all chosen and agreed to chill for a specific afternoon than just drifting into it.

have a lovely time xx

We could. But when you own a springer spaniel who will go for hours and then some, you pretty much know every walk, forest, field, bridge, river and have done it a thousand times. We are very outdoorsy.

Hell no, I wouldn’t be happy at all! I live in a place which is boring as fuck and given the opportunity to live in a tourist area with loads to do, I’d be out doing stuff morning, noon and night! That said, DD’s boyfriend lives in a VERY touristy part of the Uk and he’s very “ un excited” about the place! Maybe it’s me? 😂

Seriously though OP, yeah I’d be annoyed too. Maybe put an itinerary together? Or just head out without the family? Could money be a contributing factor here? With touristy areas, comes cost/ Inflated prices?

Two days chilling at home while DD plays out with friends sounds perfectly normal to me.

I would hate to be dragged outside everyday just because someone else was bored or had decided it was more worthy than relaxing at home.

Can you go outside of your area? What's about within an hour or so? I thoroughly recommend National Trust membership if you can afford it and there are enough places within an hour or so. Up north, my cousin takes me to castles/massive gardens, there's usually a pre-packed picnic involved or we might go nuts and buy coffee and a scone. We did the museum by Hadrian's wall (weather was shit, no way was I walking to see where the sycamore used to be!) Walks in the countryside are fab and free unless you find a fabulous ice cream place.

There are free entry kid places in summer, do a bit of research and present days out to your dd and DH. I hope he will join in, bit shit if he's also got 3 weeks (teachers?) and doesn't want to leave the house. I'm week 5 of the summer holiday and would normally be twitching to get back to work but have resigned and am moving so busy packing up the house, plus the dogs are walked 3 times a day.

When we ended up with more time at home than originally planned this summer, I got us all to agree a screen time limit because I could see that this was what would happen. It applied to all of us (including the adults!) and didn't include time spent working/doing essential life admin. We could choose together to break it to eg watch a film, but it tried to limit time spent watching nonsense on YouTube, playing inane games etc so that we would actually spend time together. It worked reasonably well, but I think only because we agreed it together. Might you be able to have a similar conversation with your family?

Eight years old is absolutely peak age for family on tour activities. I really thought you were moaning about teenagers being boring and not wanting to hang out with you! At eight she will go wherever you go and probably find it all a lot of fun. we loved the local museum that has pinball machines from the 50s and serves pots of tea for £1. Even last summer when DS was already in his teens, we had a summer pass for crazy golf and held a summer long tournament. There are so many things to go that she will remember forever.
As for staying in, maybe a games day would be nice. We have spent hours upon hours playing table tennis on the kitchen table during school holidays.