AIBU to think first day of primary school celebrations are excessive?

[EineyMiney]

Hi, we live in Scotland so today was DSs first day of school, starting primary 1. I’m just home from dropping him off and I can’t help but think what a circus!
We didn’t do anything special, just a normal school morning, no balloons, DH didn’t take the morning off, no grandparents came over. I was really trying to make sure DS wasn’t overwhelmed.
However, when I dropped DS off, there were multiple families with both parents, younger siblings, grandparents at the gate getting pictures. The school did say only 2 parents in the classroom but even this felt like too many and I’m not sure why it couldn’t be one parent per child.
In addition to that I noticed almost all the children had the bloody expensive optional blazers! Why? They are only 4 or 5!
Then I got home opened instagram and now I’m seeing plenty of children with balloons saying first day of school!

AIBU to think this is totally excessive and not necessary and probably not even good for the children who are just going to be overwhelmed.

My idea of hell. My kids would hate this. Surely you celebrate when the year is over?

The weird balloon photos I’ve seen on SM are very strange imo.
My DH will go into work late on my DC’s first day of P1 in September so he can accompany DC in too because the first day of is special, but the whole balloon set up and decorating isn’t something I would even consider.
DC’s granny will probably want to come over in the afternoon and see the child in uniform.

Yes I agree it does sound a bit OTT and likely to overwhelm. I am surprised the school doesn't advise against it.

My DD is 30 now so that is obviously a long way in the past, but I don't remember anyone making a big fuss like that or any large family groups. Just mums taking their DC in to the classroom then saying goodbye. I admit that after I left her I had a sneaky peek through the window to see if she had settled then left them to it.

Weird to judge parents for buying uniform.
Balloons are odd though, keeping things low key much better for little ones I find

Ha! I was too busy trying not to cry to notice any of that.

This sounds completely ridiculous and presumably solely for social media likes as it can't possibly do anything for the child except make them more stressed. When DD started school many years ago we didn't even go in to the classroom!

It seems healthier than tge parents wailing aboit how much they will miss their "baby".

Look up German starting school celebrations.

Dh and I both went for first day at primary, it is a big milestone and we were lucky enough we could both get day off. No balloons for us. Grandparents did stop by to see them at house as they live locally and were available. I dont see any harm in marking the day in a way that works for your own child.

Excessive for who? As long as they’re happy with the way their family does things it doesn’t impact anyone else

I work in early years and as a rule we find that the children who have families like yours who keep everything low key and normal find it much easier to settle.

Making a big song and dance of it builds up things more and tends to make it harder for a lot of children at drop off time, especially if they have to leave lots of loved ones behind.

I agree with you, and it’s really not a good idea for the kids. It’s all for the parents and the ‘gram.

Children need the first day of school to feel normal and ordinary, as much as possible.

A few years ago there seemed to be a flurry of schools handing out “goodie bags” to the parents on the child’s first day. There contained a bar of chocolate and a tea bag so they could go home and relax, and a tissue to dry their (the parents’) tears. It all felt like very manufactured emotions. Thankfully our school didn’t do it (maybe I just missed it because I was drop-kicking DS in and legging it to get to work).

I absolutely agree it’s overwhelming for the children, and possibly for the parents too. Plenty of us were happy to see our child hitting a milestone and going into school, knowing they were ready for it. And when DS was a bit upset going in, it was so much easier to manage when there were fewer people around and no photos/balloons to worry about.

I saw the balloon thing on FB. It is a bit much isn't it ? Saying that Dh took the day off when mine started primary 1 in the late 90s early OOs

Yes it's ridiculous, my FB feed has been full of it for nearly a week now.

It's all performative for social media and not necessarily in the best interests of their DC.

Just wait til their teens and getting them out of the door on time, wearing appropriate uniform will be a win.

Yes, we had this last year - could barely get DC2 to the reception class door because of all the extra people and the overblown ridiculousness. We did a few photos before we left the house and then it was business as usual. Was my kid crying? No. Were the kids of the parents making a fuss crying? Yes.

So excessive. The obligatory photo outside the door of your home is perfect and all that’s required. Doesn’t need to be shared on social media. I’ll be taking a quick picture on the first day outside of the door and send it to my parents and my PIL and that’s it. My generation of parents make everything a circus

I mean each to their own with the balloons and entire family gatherings but I’ve got 3 kids, never done balloons but my dp and I always both do the drop off together first day of term and we always go out for tea at the end of term as my Mum did this with us as kids.
the tissues and teabags thing is a bit OTT not a thing round here thank god x

Mine went on the school bus. So waved off at our road end! Not a balloon in sight. I figured might as well start as you intend to go on.

Thankfully friend’s child also got bus and is a bit older so she was “tasked” with taking care of the new P1s for the 15 min journey. My DD (now aged 8) is excited to perform that role for the new P1s on the bus starting this week. Those kids have older siblings too so I’m sure they’ll be totally fine!

The extra people at the gate does make it harder for everyone though. Most schools don’t have the space for the child to be accompanied by an entourage without it making it crowded for everyone.

I'm normally an each to their own type - but yes this sounds like a recipe for an extremely out of sorts child one way or the other! Overstimulated, worried they're doing school wrong because it turns out to be a bit shit and every day for the next 12 years of their life, disappointed for same reason, jeez.

I agree. We’ve got GCSE results this week for DSS. DH, the ex (DSS mum) and both DSS Grandma’s are going to the school. I was invited but I declined. Not that I don’t care about DSS but because I think it’s excessive. When I collected my exam results there wasn’t a single parent there and it was all a bit lowkey.

God what a nightmare that would be! Dd2 is starting nursery attached to the primary school for first time in 2 weeks. Dd1 is starting secondary school 2 days later. If I brought balloons and shit to nursery to wave off dd2 she’d just have a meltdown if she couldn’t take the balloons in with her. Dd1 would be suitably mortified if I stood outside gate with balloons😂The only thing I’ll be doing is dropping dd2 off at the door and hoping I don’t get a call soon after asking me to come collect her as she keeps licking other kids. Dd1 wants to walk herself in first day with her friend.

My DC school you dropped off at the classroom door and in they went. Parents could come half an hour before the end of the day to see their child’s classroom, take photos at the end of the day. Absolute genius move in that the kids got in and settled quickly and if there was an emotional bounce back when the parents arrived, the parents had to deal with it instead of the poor teacher dealing with 20 odd round up kids.

This sounds terrible. My youngest is 17 and this certainly wasn't a thing when mine started. It's best to make it calm, the children respond better this way. The overcrowding must be horrendous around such small children who just need to go into school without feeling overwhelmed by lots of adults they don't know. One parents is more than enough.

Sorry, I maybe didn’t explain well! No one has balloons at the school itself, I’ve just seen people post pictures of their children with balloons at home before hand.
At the school itself just seemed to be some big family groups, getting pics outside of the school steps, the school seemed to encourage this. Then in the classroom it was down to two parents but even this felt like a lot!