AIBU to think first day of primary school celebrations are excessive?

[EineyMiney]

Hi, we live in Scotland so today was DSs first day of school, starting primary 1. I’m just home from dropping him off and I can’t help but think what a circus!
We didn’t do anything special, just a normal school morning, no balloons, DH didn’t take the morning off, no grandparents came over. I was really trying to make sure DS wasn’t overwhelmed.
However, when I dropped DS off, there were multiple families with both parents, younger siblings, grandparents at the gate getting pictures. The school did say only 2 parents in the classroom but even this felt like too many and I’m not sure why it couldn’t be one parent per child.
In addition to that I noticed almost all the children had the bloody expensive optional blazers! Why? They are only 4 or 5!
Then I got home opened instagram and now I’m seeing plenty of children with balloons saying first day of school!

AIBU to think this is totally excessive and not necessary and probably not even good for the children who are just going to be overwhelmed.

I don’t see the issue. Nobody is forcing you to make the effort for your kid so why do you care that others make the effort for theirs?

Way to put pressure on a kid! First day of school should be low-key and relaxed, like "this is your everyday life from now on my child."

But of course it is all for instagram.

That must have been decades ago.

10 years ago mine had half days for a week.

My younger child started Day 1 was 45 min shorter than a standard day half the P1s were 9.15 to 2.30 the other half the year was 9.30 to 2.45, which was as much about managing numbers in the playground as anything else.

I don't think anyone other than the parents should be allowed in the school on the first day to help with children who may be overwhelmed but other than that, who cares? Of course balloons aren't necessary but it's just a bit of fun for the child and not all children do get overwhelmed with starting school.

We just did nice photos

Yanbu. Everything nowadays seemed to be turned into a ceremony. My DH and I walked round to school with mum on the first day. DH stayed in the playground. I went in with mum because I would be doing pickups so they needed to know who I was

I'd be interested to see what happens if you tell a school you both work full-time (or part-time come to that in a pattern that doesn't work) and can't accommodate a staggered start. I bet there's loads of manipulative head-shaking about how it's best for the children etc (even though they are working themselves they seem unable to appreciate that parents work too!).

I didn't realise there a Fuss and Carry On in German schools - though I bought a cone for my son when he started school as I liked the custom. But they are a bit older when they start school so can maybe cope with it all a bit better.

For you it might be " effort". For others it might be considered " performative"

Not doing it doesn't mean you care less about your kids though.

My kids are both over 18 now. Both DH and I would be off for their very first day at school, pictures would be taken with their Gran but no balloons or other fanfare.

I'm also in Scotland and we tended to start back midweek, I'd keep a few days leave for the first week back, but that was more for me getting a few days of peace and quiet once they were back at school than anything else.

It’s bloody stupid. Who’d be a teacher, no wonder kids grow up self absorbed and entitled

Bonkers - quick pic on the doorstep then off to school.

It's just all this mad social media showing off.

What. I bloody hope not. My DS is starting R in Sept.

My son can be extremely anxious (to the point of selectively mute). We have done so much work on that and part of that was moving his nursery to his school so he’s been ‘going to school’ for a year now.

Having been through that whole process already that would not have been helpful.

You know not everyone who does this puts it on Instagram, right?

I don’t have Instagram and I don’t post pictures on Facebook either.

I make the effort because my daughter loves it and is so excited about school - she loves learning.

Mine were half days for 3 weeks, this was 2011 and 2013. I think it went to full days right away the next year when my youngest was in p2 😖

Hmm depending on birthday they did this 15 years ago at my DS school. In fact the ones with after easter birthdays did half days until after bloody Xmas.

Luckily only had 6 weeks of it with DS ( collected at lunchtime and drive his to his nursery for the afternoon 4 days a week for 6 weeks)

I remember it made it choas - but younger DC were likely with me because no childcare otherwise just me and them.

I have always taken a photo on first day of school/college but never posted it anywhere it just for us to look back with.

Where did I mention Instagram?? You can have the performance without posting it online.

Then who is this so called “performance” for?

Performance in front of grandparents, neighbours other school parents

Oh yeah my eldest is 34 so an actual lifetime ago

YANBU- it’s definitely all too much! 😂

Each to their own, I think. I made a little 'first day of school' banner to put on the door for the doorstep photograph. Not for the benefit of social media because I don't have it (and wouldn't post my children online if I did), but just to add something a bit fun and special.

However, in my case my son was SO excited to start school, hugely enthusiastic and keen, so I was matching his energy rather than trying to create it. And he is a very confident extrovert who never baulks at being left in new places, so I knew overwhelm wouldn't be an issue. We took a couple of photos, headed off to school, and he skipped in happily. I'm glad my husband and I were both there - it was a nice little moment to see him off on the start of a new era. And then we picked him up at the end of the day, happy and tired.

I agree that you have to pitch these things to the child you have. If yours struggles with transitions or goodbyes, making a song and dance is a bad idea and you should keep things low key. But if they enjoy a sense of occasion and like to be made a fuss of, there's no harm in balloons or a banner.

Much better at that age to make it fuss free, one parent takes them to the school door and waves them off with a cheerful goodbye. Don’t go in to the classroom and save your tears for after they have gone in!!

I just took photos in my house of them in their new school uniforms before we left for school. This was twenty year’s ago so no Instagram etc.

Is that England?

It used to be a thing in Scotland to have half days for the first 6 weeks, October week but not beyond that.

God only knows how people managed it without SAHP or extended family support.