AIBU to think first day of primary school celebrations are excessive?

[EineyMiney]

Hi, we live in Scotland so today was DSs first day of school, starting primary 1. I’m just home from dropping him off and I can’t help but think what a circus!
We didn’t do anything special, just a normal school morning, no balloons, DH didn’t take the morning off, no grandparents came over. I was really trying to make sure DS wasn’t overwhelmed.
However, when I dropped DS off, there were multiple families with both parents, younger siblings, grandparents at the gate getting pictures. The school did say only 2 parents in the classroom but even this felt like too many and I’m not sure why it couldn’t be one parent per child.
In addition to that I noticed almost all the children had the bloody expensive optional blazers! Why? They are only 4 or 5!
Then I got home opened instagram and now I’m seeing plenty of children with balloons saying first day of school!

AIBU to think this is totally excessive and not necessary and probably not even good for the children who are just going to be overwhelmed.

I don’t get crying either. I was delighted when mine started school, they were ready for it and I was very over having to deal with nursery. Our HT had zero tolerance as well, she stood on the stage in the assembly hall with a microphone and said if anyone was going to cry they could leave, as it wasn’t fair to upset the children.

Yeah, no luck there mate. No neighbours or grandparents, and taking a picture at school is not “performing” in front of other school parents.

It’s a shame you’re so cynical.

I just googled that, read about the cones, thank you. How interesting.

Yes Right pita as a full time working single parent I tell you

Luckily DS turned 5 before Xmas else would've gone on longer. Well it wouldn't as id have just kept him in nursery full time another term and started him at school after January

A picture no, frilly uniform balloons etc yes

A frilly uniform is performing? Why do you think that?

And OP clearly said there were no balloons at school, she only saw them afterwards on Instagram.

Because it's just done for pictures. No self respecting decent school would allow it to be worn. And I'm not just talking about OP but others who have mentioned balloons etc

Also, vast quantities of cheaply-made in China, imported, single use plastic involved in the "celebrations".

Thing is, both parents being present for a special occasion like this is kind of normal surely? Or are we normalising dads staying away and mums doing it all as usual? Would you (generic you) be happy with your DH doing it and you stayed home and didn’t go? I doubt - seems to be either Mum default parenting it and/or making snide comments about both parents actually wanting to be involved in a fairly significant event in their young child’s life.

My DH wanted to be there, it was important to us both, and that meant DD2 had to come too 🤷‍♀️

Balloons etc aren’t for me but what people do in their own homes to ‘celebrate’ is no business of mine. I’m sure the kids enjoy it, who doesn’t like balloons?!

Trust me, very popular in the west of Scotland. I will try and get a pic

Scotland ditched mid year starts in the middle 1970s. It amazes me England still has them.

I can't fathom how the teachers make that work.

Ahhh so someone else knows what I’m talking about!!

Did you do back to school balloons & gift basket?

I'd think some of it is for photos and some of it is to work up the child's enthusiasm for starting school. Trying to make it seem like something to celebrate. As for overwhelming them, a balloon isn't that big of a thrill to most kids, anyway. Not like buying them a pony for their first day. Maybe all the extra people could be a little much, but it's only one day. I probably wouldn't encourage grandparents to participate in the drop-off, but I understand wanting to make it a (slightly) special occasion in some way.

I was thinking the same. A few balloons alone isn't going to overwhelm a child.

The frilly uniforms and mahoosive bows are very class/area/demographic related. Don't see any of that round here, in teh same way as you don't see babies in prams with massive bows on their heads, frilly pompom blankets or the elaborate baby items I see in some local "boutiques" and wonder who on earth would ever spend £50 on an acrylic baby blanket with ribbons, ruffles and frills.

Go to other areas of the city and you will see lots of frills and bows.

It's not something I'd do or did, I also didn't do any of the baby shower/gender reveal/extravagant 1st birthday. I don't care if others want to do it, each to their own. Maybe some children find it overwhelming, maybe it's a good way to make it more exciting than scary for others.
I do think some of it is generational, I have a younger friend who is into all the big celebrations and getting the perfect pictures. These things seem the norm for those who grew up with social media.

Mine are also in their 30 s. I’m glad I have a photo of DD2 on her first day of school but outside our front door. Not sure what happened to DD1.

We would all have struggled with balloons and fuss. What will I do when GC start school in 2 and 3 yrs time? I hope that I will feel that their learning is more important than a social media photo.

I'd agree. I never did balloons for my kids but photos and stuff.

Our primary did ask that only parents went to the school at drop off, they staggered Day 1 start time just so there were less people in the classroom.

They felt it was overwhelming for kids to have extended family, and the opposite the little ones who don't have a big in foster care hurts them to see kids being fussed over by a half a dozen adults

Why would you assume it’s decades ago? My P1 isn’t in FT until October this year.

Did anyone though or was that just exaggerated?

Where are you?

I'm Lanarkshire, 2016 it was half days for a week. By 2021 it was full days from day 1 (BTW their visit day was a 45min in the playground thanks covid)

I know Glasgow was similar to Lanarkshire getting rid of extended period of half days. I sort of assumed the rest of the country had also ditched it.

I remember this with my youngest (must be some time ago as he's almost 16 now).
He started off at mainstream (he has Down's) and I was feeling very overwhelmed and uncertain as to whether I had made the right decision (turned out I hadn't as he lasted less than a term before transferring to special school where he thrived).
Anyway, first day at mainstream reception, the teacher was handing out these goody bags as you mentioned.
She came to me and said "I've even got one for you. I suppose it's the same for you". I was so shocked I didn't know what to say but afterwards it really played on my mind. Why wouldn't it be the same for me??

Blame Instagram. Nothing can go on without being documented and shown off.

i think it’s ok for both parents to there why should one parent miss out on their child’s first day. And we took our younger one to the older ones first day so that neither of us missed drop off for the first time and also the younger one was 3 weeks old and he wanted the baby to walk him to school

we do a first day board were we have their age, class, and what they want to be when they are older it’s been good to look back on as they have gotten older.

I also take the standard front door pic of the kids on their first day back

but the balloons, cupcakes etc is over the top