Please tell me what there will be to look forward to?

[Vimtoforthewin]

Not trying to be depressing at all and generally a positive person, but I can’t see what there is to look forward to in the second part of life.
Late 40’s, life until now was up and down, as the same for most people i’d imagine. At least I was younger, good health, better looking, parents younger and more vibrant, life was exciting, lots to look forward to, lots to aim for.
Life is nice now, 8 year old, Dh, friends, rewarding job…but…what is there to look forward to? Yes to seeing Dd grow, but also a sadness as her leaving will come with that. Parents ageing more and passing away, us ageing more…what things can I aim for to look forward to? It seems everything good is in the past?

Is it normal to feel like this? Does anyone else?

I’m not depressed but it seems only bad things will come more in this stage of life when I think about it

With all due respect, get a bloody grip. My life is better in my 50s now than it has ever been.

Old enough to give zero cares as to what people think, kids all young adults and good fun to spend time with, planning futures. Being able to afford things I want. Still healthy, in fact fitter now than Ive ever been as have time to spend on myself.

So bloody much to look forward to!!!

Knowing who you are as a person and not so insecure as in younger years.

More money as mortgage gets paid off.

Sharing special moments of child, ie finishing school, graduating, supporting them in their dreams.

Holidays to adult places that don’t involve all inclusive and pools, discovering the world.

working towards maintaining a healthy weight and posture and general wellbeing.

Perhaps an inheritance once parents pass that will enable you to improve living standards?

You sound really lucky. You have a husband, a child, your health and you still have your parents! Maybe count your blessings instead of looking for misery. Look forward to all the little things in life.

I need to get some grips! Funeral yesterday. Got sacked from a "career" job last year. DD having her best life at uni. Empty nest now (although it fills up again).

I'm not depressed, but feel flat. Is it possible to be bored of your own life?

Irony is I do quite a lot..

What a strange outlook. I'm 56, DH is 53...we are really enjoying our 50's. Kids have left home and have good jobs and partners. Mortgage being paid off in a couple of months. Have great holidays planned, Caribbean in a few months time, and next year a tour of Australia. DH retires next year too, and I will be taking 2 months off every winter so we can travel.

Hang in there, it all gets better in your 50s.

There is so much to look forward to at every stage of life!

Im late 40s and Im enjoying seeing ny kids grow up and become independent.

Ive more time and freedom now they are older so I am enjoying maintaining my fitness and getting out meeting up with friends.

My parents are getting older and Im there to help them and enjoy spending time with them.

In my circle some havent been so lucky to make it to this age and others are dealing with cancer.

If you were told you had a limited time to live would you suddenly find things to look forward to?

Paying off the mortgage
Having more disposable income
Silver/ruby wedding anniversary parties
Graduation and dc's weddings
Grandchildren
The generation behind finding their wing
Retirement and time
New films and books
Holidays

And that's apart from clear blue skies, family meals, the smell of Christmas, crunchy autumn leaves and colours, warm tomatpes from the plant, the last picking of runners, sun rise and sunsets, bats at dusk with a cool glass of rose, owls twit/twoo'ing, there's a marvel woth every day.

You get your life back. You get lie ins and lazy Sundays. You get the gift of time. You get to just be yourself and put yourself first again. So much to look forward to.

Retiring and having lots of time to travel cheaply. The biggest expense is flights and when I can travel for a few months staying in cheap places, I will be able to do more.

DD growing and getting even more fantastic.

I'm going to volunteer.

40s are tough. 50s are great. Especially for women as you stop giving a shit. My friend calls them the Fuck It 50s.

I am loving my late forties and can’t wait until my 50s. I have more energy than I’ve ever had. Going to the gym and doing weights has transformed my life. I work 3 days a week so plenty of down time although I work very long hours on those days. I used to worry about DS who has autism but at 18 he is making far more money than I ever could on YouTube so those worries are gone. No mortgage either which helps. I never imagined I’d be this happy at this age when I was younger

Could you be perimenopausal? It sounds on the face of it like you have a lovely life? I’m a similar age and feel a bit gloomy but I'm
in that caring for teenager as a single parent/caring for ageing, deteriorating parent. Plus my work is a grind. However, I book in weekends away with my other half, concerts, holidays with DD. Plenty to look forward to.
I would definitely get a GP check up for a. Mood and b. Peri (if you haven’t already)

Please can you tell me what gets better x

I’m in my sixties and am ridiculously happy!

I found my joy in solo travel. Just me. No packing for kids. Doing exactly what I want.

Jealous of all the people paying off their mortgage in 40s/50s. Mine is going until I’m 75….

It depends on whether you have enough money to live off.

When you’re divorced and retired with no possibility of earning more money, and having to live very frugally, it’s not exactly sunshine and roses!

I think the most important thing in your twenties and thirties is to ensure you start saving for your future. Don’t rely on having a well paid DH to fund you both in retirement as they can easily fuck off for a younger model leaving you brassic.

On the upside, at least you can make all your own decisions. 😊

It sounds like you have a lovely life. Just enjoy it and don't wonder or worry about what will happen. My 20s were amazing, my 30s were horrific with so many losses and setbacks. I'm 40 now living life in a way I wouldn't have chosen but I'm making the absolute best of it, staying positive and spending as much time as I can with the people who matter.

Lots gets better. Have you read any of the replies that people have taken the time to post?

I think the fact that your DD is only 8 is relevant. You haven't had time to prioritise yourself and you feel sort of lost as you have a tiny bit more time on your hands but not that much. Invest in friendships, well being, career.

Obviously things change as you get older, but change isn't necessarily bad, children grow up and you get to see how their lives develop, you may have more time to enjoy things you were too busy to do and maybe a bit more money. It's sad that parents get old but it's better than the alternative, both of my parents died fairly young I would have loved for them to live into old age and see my DC grow up.

I’m in my 50’s discovering the world with my incredible second dh and our friends. I have never been this content.

I'm sorry, but I think you do sound depressed. You are only seeing the negatives and not the positives. Perhaps contact your local talking therapies, or access private support.

I am 50 now and there is so much to look forward to. My child is grown up and married, I can do fun stuff with the grandchildren. The later years are often the most financially stable for people. Mortgage paid off, no dependents, you can drop your working hours. Lots of free time to do as you please, and your money is your own. Lots and lots of positives for many people (although I appreciate not everyone, if there are health concerns for example, or if unemployed).

It all changes but I feel mentally much stronger in my 50's. My career is strong, i have time for myself. Dh and I are refinding our relationship post kids at home. Although I absolutely miss dc I love that they are living their lives, that I have a daughter in law to be. I love adult holidays with them, going to visit them. Hugs from very tall adult ds, when they ring and end the call with I love you. Graduations, weddings, seeing them grow and thrive. Yes parents getting older is hard, teenagers can be hard but you have to find the joy. I feel very content even with stresses etc.

I wonder if you have kept your life very small.

The world is enormous and full of amazing things. I think sometimes this per-menopausal thing hits women worst who have focused only on their family. Do you think that might be true?