Please tell me what there will be to look forward to?

[Vimtoforthewin]

Not trying to be depressing at all and generally a positive person, but I can’t see what there is to look forward to in the second part of life.
Late 40’s, life until now was up and down, as the same for most people i’d imagine. At least I was younger, good health, better looking, parents younger and more vibrant, life was exciting, lots to look forward to, lots to aim for.
Life is nice now, 8 year old, Dh, friends, rewarding job…but…what is there to look forward to? Yes to seeing Dd grow, but also a sadness as her leaving will come with that. Parents ageing more and passing away, us ageing more…what things can I aim for to look forward to? It seems everything good is in the past?

Is it normal to feel like this? Does anyone else?

I’m not depressed but it seems only bad things will come more in this stage of life when I think about it

I discovered 3 new hobbies in my 50s and they are all free or cheap.

Haven't people already said?

My life got a lot better in many ways after my 40s. I've had two different career changes, got rid of the negative people in my life and did a lot more travelling. I suspect if you have a negative outlook it will hinder your chances of being happy though.

I think only you can reflect and answer this as everyone’s lives are so different.

Some people lose their parents when they’re children, some people pay their mortgage off in their twenties, we’re all living different lives.

I wonder if it’s because you never had a plan for this part of your life? Maybe you grew up wanting marriage, children etc. but never thought past that. Do you have any hobbies or career goals? It’s never too late to retrain if you need a new purpose or focus. Any travel plans? If you found out you had two years to live what would you want to do? What would you regret not doing?

I posted before a lot had replied

DS is starting his first job and moving out in September. I see that as a good thing in this economy. Not something to feel sad about

Get a grip ! Count your blessings.
I’ve been to a friends funeral last week who didn’t make it to her 40s. She left behind her 2 year old.

it is a gift to be alive and well in your 40s

Have you heard of the happiness curve?

Why does it mean I’ve kept my life very small?! In what respect?

I’m 55 and never been happier but it took work to get here - I thought I would break in two when dcs left for uni but I’m fitter and happier than I’ve ever been and got to know myself again - life, as always, is how you frame it - you will get out of your future the fruit of the seeds you sew - it’s up to you

I have more inner peace now that I am older ie 62. Ds is 21 and thriving in all sorts of ways. Very rewarding. The past few years I have rediscovered the joy of reading (Lisa Jewell). I try to read 30 mins a day. I work from home which is lovely and peaceful. I also enjoy walking in green areas locally nearby. When he leaves home in a few more years I may get a rescue greyhound.

I’m in the same age bracket as you. I know what you mean but I have accepted that I don’t actually need anything to look forward to. None of us have a right to fun or exciting things. Thinking about it, I’m looking forward to retirement and hopefully travelling more, but I’m not wishing the time away. Grandchildren would be nice but at the same time, I (secretly) hope my children don’t reproduce. My parents are already dead so I don’t have to worry about that or dread it. If I can maintain good health for as long as possible, I’ll be happy with that.

My SIL is unhappy in her 50s because she was home, husband and kids. The kids have all moved, her husband is a dickhead and the home is the same. She did so much and no one really seemed to care.

Many people find joy in more things; hobbies, friends, work, travel, volunteering, interests, art, sports and on and on.

Small isn't bad, it's just more fragile if it changes.

Happier in my fifties than I've ever been. Mortgage paid so able to drop a couple of days at work - more time for the other things I enjoy doing. More time to spend with DH. Planning some trips. Spontaneous days out and nights away. Family launched and doing well.

I miss my parents but have reached the stage where I realise how lucky I was to have them so try and celebrate them rather than mourn their passing.

A lot of grandparents say it's much better than being a parent, and enjoy grandparenting, while doing volunteer work/hobbies other days.

And yes, I'm aware not everyone gets to have/see grandchildren, or the health you'd need to enjoy the other things. So it's reasonable to be nervous, guess you just have to hope to be one of the lucky ones (and even those who live the best life style possible can be unlucky, in case anyone wanted to say that's in your hands).

I’m 61 and having the best time of my life . Newly retired , busy social life , love travelling and enough money to do whatever I want .

Well it might get loads better. Or everything in your life might get worse. Who knows? The best thing is to enjoy now, wherever you are in life. Every age has its joys and sorrows.

@MrsTerryPratchett is right. I am 63 and DH has died recently, after more than three years of escalating health issues. But I am looking forward to the next 30 years (DF 92, DM was 89 when she died). I am already planning to move closer to my family to an area I love. I'll be joining U3A, going birdwatching, messing around in boats, gardening, church, new dog walks. If you have resources within yourself that provide joy and continuity you can weather the changes better.

I feel like you OP (also mid 40s). Not enjoying my loss of potential and youthful body feeling.

Count your blessings.

There is no point in worrying about the future. We all get old, people die etc. And try to stop pining for the past and live in the moment. Your children will leave home. You'll then have more time for yourself so enjoy them while they're around

totally agree

What a sad way to look at your life.

My experience is that every decade has been better than the previous one.
Others have listed all sorts of things to look forward to, but I suspect as you have such a negative attitude you probably won't enjoy those either.

I’m younger and not sure about the pending freedom in later years re finances & dc. I will need to keep working, saving & paying for lots of things plus dc will likely be living at home for some time.

I'm in my sixties. I'm slimmer fitter and stronger than I was in my forties. I'm retired and have enough money to travel, go to the theatre, eat out, buy lovely clothes and generally have fun. I have good friends I've known for 30/40/50 years and through that I have a fabulous social life. I've been (reasonably) happily married to the same man for 40 years. My DC are all happily married to wonderful people so our family has grown.

Of course there have been issues . The premature death of my dad from cancer. The gradual physical deterioration of my mum. Managing her care, endless hospital and care home visits. Arranging arranging their funerals and the sheer hard graft of clearing mums house and settling her estate. One of my children was severely mentally ill for some years ( all recovered now, PG). We had the usual teenage ructions, then the empty nest and there were very hard times financially and also healthwise.

All that has passed now although I'm sure the future will bring fresh problems but for now life is good. And of course, the best thing of all is our lovely grandchildren.

To be fair, the people who have enough to retire and travel the world with are going to feel a lot better than those of us still with big mortgages and twenty years more full time work to look forward to. I've not felt happy in years and don't expect to ever again really unless something major happens to change life. So I get it OP. And my looks have pretty much gone so can't even find interest in clothes and make up like I used to. However, there is still wine and good friends to keep me going in my 60 hour a week job.