AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

Look - the OP is sounding increasingly irrational, erratic and somewhat distressed.

Whatever is going on - hope it works out.

So you're pissed off that you spent £250k (so far, your kid is only 10) on private school so that your kid could mingle with 'better kids', but now the best of the 'better kids', i.e. the uber-wealthy international elite, are no longer sending their kids to the private school you chose.

You have fallen between two stools: a lower tier private school is not nearly in the same league as an internationally-renowned "public" private school, but still costs a fortune relative to the combination of 'state schooling plus tutors plus activity clubs plus taxis'.

Moral of the story: go large or get out. Public (top tier private) school or state, but not lower tier private.
Unless of course you are not a social climber and are choosing lower tier private for other reasons such as SEN.

Clearly this is a troll thread (and I can barely understand OP at times) but putting my severely ND child to private school with a smaller class size, better teachers and more tailored approach to her learning has literally ben life-changing. She now loves school and has friends. Grades have improved. I can't really think what else I'd rather spend my money on.

You keep saying things like private schools are seen as a flex, so this is clearly how you see private schools.
maybe if you considered your child and their needs, education wise, you might’ve chosen better for your children.
rather than “flexing” your wealth in the hope they will magically gain spectacular grades.

it’s also no difficult to leave a private school - usually it’s 1 term’s notice to leave and off you go. Or maybe you’re concerned about the state of your local state schools in comparison to the “shit” private school you chose?

That’s nothing new. The less popular schools have always offered lower fees to the children they are keen to have. It happened to people I know. The popular, good schools are oversubscribed and don’t need to haggle over fees.

You still haven’t answered the numerous posters asking why you aren’t pulling your child out of such a terrible school. Pull them out, send them to state.

I have that child. He is very happy to be off to do his dream subject at his top choice Russel Group Uni. He got 3xAs. I expect he could have had more consistent teaching privately or at grammar and got Astars. He would probably have ended where he’s going though- so for that we are happy.

But he commented yesterday that he’s really looking forward to being with others who really want to learn, and to be able to focus without distractions. That’s what he’s missed out on. He also missed out on higher level competitiveness from other students. Luckily he has a friend at the same level as him and they have revised together - and indeed are going to the same course - having both jointly got the highest A levels in the school.

We are in an area dominated by by grammar schools. We moved here in COVID too late to apply for grammar. The very large comprehensive he was at had great teachers, great facilities, and loads of courses from academic to agricultural and arts.

The only problem was because anyone academic had been creamed off to the many grammars, the remaining cohort were a very different balance. Not many keen on learning for its own sake, and many low level disruptive kids through to GCSE level. This he found really hard.

So yeah, landing in same place, but he could have had a deeper more engaging experience. What we have bought for him is our own support and ‘culture vulture’ enthusiasm and broad experiences, that his friends don’t have. He’s unusual having attended many many museums, art galleries, operas, theatre, music, science lectures, visits to ancient monuments- all that breadth.

also amended to add that he is a really driven person who is driven by what he wants. Plenty of clever kids out there who don’t know yet - my 2 other dCs included. All those kids won’t do well at the sort of school my DS just left. I’ve seen my DCs lovely bright clever and talented friends just leave after sixth from, worried about uni or debt, their parents worried about debt for them, then working in the zero hours contracts living at home. I’ve actually been ‘that adult’ that’s sat three of their friends down and literally lectured them on what they could each do, where they could end up, shown them Martin Lewis videos on student loans. One of them applied the year after and is now doing the degree his music talent needed, for which I am glad. I’m still working on the one that is so lovey anyone would want him around a workplace, but is working 3 hours a day at Spar.

its shit out there

I do believe I have now answered multiple times.

The outstanding schools in our area which are also very close to current school are all FULL.

We are looking international.

@Absorbthecost OP, this is how most parents who send their kids to fee-paying schools think (and I say this as someone who probably wouldn’t send my child to one). Parents just want the best for their children and many choose private education for all sorts of reasons. Most children from private schools don’t go on to the very top tier universities, nor do most from state. Private school makes it easier to achieve that in some respects, but my point is that the vast majority of parents are thinking of a rounded experience for their child wherever they go to school, not just A Level results. There are dickheads everywhere, so there will always be one or two parents who are snobby about where their child goes to school, or boast about their results (from either private or state), but most aren’t like that.

I’m a state school teacher, and there are lots of fabulous state schools, often with better quality teaching than private schools through necessity. That said, I would not wish for my child to be in some of the classes I’ve observed on occasion during my career in the state sector (and nor did I want that experience for other people’s children either).

What’s this got to do with private school?

In fact, it’s another reason why some parents are choosing private. Private schools tend to have very well resourced careers and uni advice departments. They are very good at showing children what opportunities there are beyond the traditional UK university route.

I'm really not sure what point you're trying to make.

All the young people who worked hard for their A level results deserve to be proud of themselves and celebrate, regardless of what their starting point. I'm sure all the parents who helped, encouraged, cajoled and provided what they could, whether that was a private school education or just a decent pack of highlighters and healthy meals over exam season, are proud too.

Our children go to state school because we could not have afforded private.
I don’t like the social separation of private. I prefer my children to understand what many families go through.
That said I am considering private for sixth form because I think an academic environment will be better for A level study, rather than the local college where people can do a whole range of courses. A levels need focus, not being down town with your mates every night.
Also I came top of my year with my GCSE results at state school but there was no path to Oxbridge or any support. Back then “normal” people didn’t know how to go about this, there was no internet to look things up on on social media, you were reliant on your school’s advice.
I can’t help feeling that that would have been a possibility for someone who performed like I did academically at a private school. It hasn’t done me any harm but would have been amazing to have had the opportunity to try.

But… my two children are at state schools, in a fairly deprived area, and neither experience this bullying and marginalisation. They’re both very happy and doing brilliantly. Where does your opinion of state schools come from?

What about the schools which aren’t outstanding? If your private school is so desperately awful, surely any state would be better? It sounds to me like you’re regretting not being on the ball earlier and securing a place at a better school, which many other families have managed to do over you.

I sent my kids to a grammar school because it was their best chance at getting good grades. We moved to the area to get them in. I’m not sorry. Our house was more expensive because of it and I’ve worked more hours for the mortgage. But it’s the right choice. As a parent, your number one duty is to do the best you can for your children. Unless you’re a billionaire, education is their best chance for success.

We’ve made big sacrifices (no foreign holidays, drive one old car etc) to avoid state education as, unless your child fits a certain mould, it is not the best choice. My children have been home educated, gone to private school and then grammars purely to avoid state education (I’m sorry to say).

By the way, I’m not sure that university is a level playing field. I’m a tutor/ teacher and plenty of undergrad students request tuition too.

What is your experience of private schools and where exactly?

Yes, they need to make some business decisions and some have closed down.

But cuts are similar to Harrods saying ‘well I guess we can’t offer customers champagne anymore and we’ll need to rent out the 4th floor and open the cafe to the public, and have 8 staff per department, not 10’. The starting point generally is very high.

I lived near 2x private school campus that’s not even in the UK top 100, and it looks and feels like a mini Oxford. Now I live near a top 10 school and would happily go there, it looks awesome. I volunteer in some state schools and while they seem ok and kids are nice enough, it’s very focused on rules and behaviour, and they don’t have a stadium, pool, extensive sports fixtures, student garden etc. There’s so much concrete and nowhere really for kids to play, relax and spend free time.

I appreciate some private schools are probably terrible, but I’d be most interested in the location and facilities, green space, quality of food etc

Ideologically I’m against private schools but unfortunately in the UK they offer the standard of student experience which should be normal and for everyone, not paid-for.

Guess the school

A A A*
A A A

Haggling independent school fees

over saving for what’s to come?

This thread is financial comparison.

Value for money in UK……

DS went to a pretty grim comp but it was close to us. He got all top grades at A level. He was accepted on to a a degree apprenticeship, They are fiercly competitive. He graduated with a first class with honours and walked straight in to a job with the employer that paid for his degree on almost 40k PA.

His Father had a PhD from Cambridge and I took my undergraduate degree at a high ranking RG University.

I see private education as helping middling children a lot, filtering out kids that are not that clever if they have an entrance exam or who are disruptive. It’s also good for children who need small classes which means lots of academically high functioning children with Autism.

People can make contacts at school, we already had them within our family if needed as my brothers both work for big corporations in America. As an aside we are from nothing, immigrant Father who ran a Chinese restaurant at and takeaway. DH was privately educated as were many people in his family, was the most successful of his blood relatives, until his much younger architect cousin won a major design award. His cousin is married to a guy who has his own private medical practice, he went to a state school.

What everyone don’t think about enough is how personable their children are.

They don’t now! They’re all broke (outside of London) financial mismanagement since 2010. Too many discounts. Full fee payers fleeing abroad to get value for money.

I look forward to the follow up thread when you come back complaining of paying more and still not being happy with what you get! 🙄

If your child is 10 surely you can be preparing hard for moving them to an excellent state secondary school?

The 'smart families' haven't yet monopolised those and you won't be at a disadvantage for securing a place in one for your child.

Our kids are pretty much guaranteed Russel Group standard A level results at our public central London schools. To go to the local comp would mean maybe Russel group. It’s about risk. So while it can be said, post hoc, a kid from state school gets into whatever university and mixes with the public school kids, the point is that no matter what, a hugely greater share to top places go to public school students and there really is nothing that the Labour Party can do about it.

Do you not have friends with children who go to state schools? The “social separation” would then only in during school hours.

our kids go to private but have friends and relatives who go to state schools, we teach them how not everyone lives the same way. My kids are in primary but already help to give to those who have less. It’s not a case of “everyone we know is rich and in private school”

I’m now reading the university issues and the international families rejection causing financial problems there too….

NRTFT but are we talking about how some people are fortunate to have great state schools in their doorsteps compared to others who are only able to access failing state schools?