AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

I'm completely pro State School but this whole thread is a load of balls. Education is not grades. Human beings are not grade factories. Jesus Christ what reductive nonsense the whole premise of this thread is.

I would have loved to send my children to private school but it wasn't affordable for us. My reasons would have been for the amazing education beyond the exam syllabus - music, dance, performing arts, extra curricula, developing confidence and communication skills. I was not after an exam factory style of school. Of course children can achieve the highest grades without going to private school - helps if they have supportive educated parents behind them. Private school provides opportunities beyond that.

Since reception independent

since year 3 age 7 at current independent…. Continue on into the same school at yr 7…

Objective: to have a week off work
Method A: stay at home for a week for free
Method B: go to a seaside resort with pools, beaches, restaurants and entertainment. No housework. £££

Conclusion:
Method A achieves the objective free of charge.
You'd be gutted if you chose Method B.

I agree with this, many of those privately educated dc may not be where they are if it wasn’t for their school. Many won’t have achieved the same in state schools for a number of reasons.

My eldest is in state but is very capable, I still have to make a decision re my youngest because they need more help.

It has been shown in many studies that most kids’ end of education grades can be reasonably well predicted at age 11. Regardless of which school they go to.

The difference between going to an independent or a state school is just how they feel during their time in education, not the grades they end up with.

Some kids will have a better time in an independent with all the sport/drama/music facilities and smaller class sizes etc. For other kids, this is way less important and will not make a massive difference to their enjoyment.

I have a child in each. They are in the best schools for them as individuals. But I am under no illusions. My child in the independent school would probably achieve the exact same results if she were in her brother’s state school. She would just be miserable there.

I think this is exactly what OP is saying. So to her, PS is a waste of money. I can see her point. Others will obviously disagree.

DT’s would have succeeded academically at any school but we chose an international private school so they could have lessons in our own language and continue trilingual together with top rate music and sports education.

Keep Haggling hard!

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/08/08/parents-haggle-private-school-fees/

You’ll get there.

😂😂😂. I’m starting to think this post is a wind up.
I’m not sure anyone has “pity” for parents who have the choice between the private and state sector. Most don’t have that choice.

If the private sector is so bad, move to state. The LEA has a legal requirement to find you a place in the state sector. Problem solved. There are lots of posts about getting places at state schools which may be helpful to you.

@Absorbthecost why on earth aren't you moving him? If it's all about results, you don't need a 'top' state school, just pay for a bit of tutoring on the side in the exam years if need be. It makes no sense that you plan to continue to pay for seven more years for a school that you think is rubbish!

@Araminta1004interesting I didn’t know that. How did they find living away from home?

I;m baffled about this whole OP. nasty and gloating towards parents who have made the same choices she (or he) has. Calling private schooling a scam. Revealed that they have made the exact same choice for their own child(ren) and they can't escape this 'trap'. Of course you can. You go into a state school in your catchment area or put yourself on the list and wait if it your state school is over subscribed.

If it is a 'trap' why are you making the choices you are making? Surely you can see that something you have decided to do is valid and some things others choose to do are equally valid?

It just bonkers. Go private or don't go private. Whatever. Own your choice or change it.

I see where you went wrong. You read a brochure that contained PR waffle and didn’t verify the waffle by fact checking. That’s step one, mate.

If a school says “these are our best ever results” and you are someone who cares about results then you need to actually check the results yourself against the previous years’ results. You don’t have to go back to the dawn of time, 5 years is usually enough. If there are gaps in the reporting, you can follow up with the school.

And actually, individuals get to decide what’s worth paying for. A school with mediocre academic results but has excellent pastoral care will be worth every penny to some parents. And where are you getting £250k from? I’m looking at £350k until end of A Levels and that excludes all the extras. Interestingly, that’s about the difference in house prices between those houses in good state catchment areas and those houses that are not where I live.

I think there are many reasons why people choose private school. You don't think at 10/11, 'oh my kid is daft and won't get good grades unless I send them to private school'. Or 'my kid is really smart so I'm going to send them to private school as a reward'? Well I guess some might.

If you send your kid to an academically selective school it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be private? Or that all private schools are academically selective.

I am reading this right?? The OP's children go to a PS and she isnt impressed.

Well, leave go to the state school around the corner and hope its not failing or in special measures!

Que - OP has a vast range of excuses why she cant. When your children go to private school normally the parents are right there ensuring that they are making the best of the opportunity. We attended every single parent evening, took on board what we were told. Some parents in state schools wont do any of this.

Are you resentful that state school students are getting into top unis?

We got this guys,

State got nothing on us ……

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/08/08/parents-haggle-private-school-fees/

Get real.

DC is in private because the only senior school we had a chance of getting into “requires improvement”, has a GCSE pass rate that’s only just in double figures and has the homepage of it’s website pretty much dedicated to how parents and guardians can access mental health/addiction support services. It’s been taken over by a MAT so will hopefully improve over time. DC may well go there for 6th form as that is the one area consistently achieving. It was an overall “good” school 6 years ago.
I’m hugely pissed off that the council have allowed education to be run into the ground in this county and genuinely hope the steady influx of families who would have previously gone private forces a significant improvement to the provision across the area - currently there are only two “outstanding” non grammar options both in the very south and with tiny catchment areas.
As many have pointed out on this thread, not all private school parents are sharp elbowed, grade chasing social climbers.

This doesn't respond to my post at all..?

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

But people are individuals so you can’t directly compare results!
but if you’re trying to compare, maybe look at the percentage of children in each year 13 group who sat an A level with the same exam board. Is the percentage of A* grades higher in the private school or the state school?

Absolutely this. OP you have no idea why each individual child goes to private or what their parents' motivation is. Of course many kids do brilliantly at state, but many done and not everyone has the sane access to good catchment areas, SEN support varies massively. One horrible bully, not handled well can ruin a child's education (in any school). Feel free to get some glow out of thinking you 'won' by achieving great grades at state. It changes nothing. My ds pretty much bombed his GCSEs at a private school but he liked his cohort, enjoyed his time there and wasn't held down and threatened with scissors like at the state I pulled him out of.

Exactly this. As parents, one of us was bullied for working hard and achieving well in state. Couldn’t work in school and did most school work at home. Some (probably most) children would not be able to cope with bullying and wouldn’t achieve their full potential though. Yes, we achieved well in state, but we chose to take the option to go privately for a nicer experience for our children. I appreciate that not everyone has that opportunity. I would also caveat that by saying there are some private schools I wouldn’t choose.

For many it's really not - we put our DD1 in a small private school for two years because she was drowning in a large comp that couldn't meet her SEN. We never intended to go private. Many other parents had sent their children for similar reasons - there were certainly no "bragging rights" - it was all very dow-to-earth. She got solid grades at GCSE and not stellar but we were never expecting that - at the local comp she would have just bombed and probably become a school refuser.