AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

Then don’t pay, go elsewhere.

That’s why I’m very interested in the success stories of those students who have managed with Zero price tag.

I find it absolutely inspiring that unlike what we’ve been brainwashed to think (our kids won’t survive out there) It is indeed possible!

I’m not sure why you’re not listening, but not all
schools are making big cutbacks or accepting haggling. It’s simply not the reality for decent schools. They don’t need to. I say this as someone paying full fees for more than 1 child.

Over 40,000 already have.

Some can’t pay, Some won’t pay as the standards have dropped.

Private school is not just about getting good results. A friend came with me to collect my kids from the school playground and he said ‘wow these kids are so well behaved! Running around enjoying themselves but no swearing and fights’. Now I went to a state school and we were all pretty much well behaved too, but when my DD’s team had to go up to the nearby state school to play netball as theirs was being refurbished, the girls from that school surrounded them and the language and intimidation was unreal. And during Covid - all day full online lessons for our students. And they took in all the local kids who couldn’t stay at home because their parents were essential workers. All the nearby state school kids that met this criteria. And the students behaved so badly that during the second lock down the invitation was not repeated.
If there was a decent state school near me my kids would have gone. But there wasn’t, and I could pay. By the way my son left after GCSEs - he just wasn’t academic. I’d still have sent him there up til then though.

There is never zero price tag to having kids.

Its perfectly possible to do brilliantly in state if you are bright, NT, sporty, popular, etc, or have enough self belief and resilience to plough your own furrow and be lucky enough not to attract negative attention. Oh and your parebts can pay £££ to get i to a good catchment.

My niece got 3 A*s and has just graduated with a First in medicine. State school. I actually had a colleague with a privately educated son tell me that she'd only got into Cambridge (not where she actually went) because she'd been prioritised over her son. Never mind the fact he only got three Cs....

Maybe some. It depends on the child.

DS was punished for not doing his comprehension homework then I got brought in and was told he was stubborn for not picking up a pen to do his homework when he was kept in at break times

Had to remind them that DS couldn’t read or write. He most likely had dyslexia if they bothered to get him tested. So what exactly was he supposed to do

Got punished in IT class for not turning round to face the teacher when she told people to turn round. He was wearing headphones and has a hearing problem. Again things she knew as it was on his notes and I had told her.

Got punished because he forgot to not go a certain way down a corridor. He remembered after taking a few steps but still got a detention for that

The final straw was when his attendance went to 33%

He had been ill but wanted to go in the first day to understand where everything was and get the first day of senior school under his belt. He had the next 2 days off.

When he went back I was told I had to attend a weekly appointment at 4pm to discuss his low attendance.

I went the first time more because I wanted to understand the maths.

He walked out a couple of days later after getting 10 detentions in 2 days for things like the above.
He called me to pick him up as he was walking home.

DS has dyslexia, adhd and autism.

I had already done the maths and found an alternative school that meant I could go to work without having a school demand that I don’t work as they needed me at a spurious weekly appointment to discuss DS having a bad cold for a couple of days. Weeks/months before.

It’s your opinion and one I don’t happen to agree with.

I pay full fees and I think they are excellent value for money, despite having gone up in recent years. As others have gently, and not so gently, tried to point out to you, I think you may just have not got a very good school there OP. I live in a medium-sized city in the UK (not remotely near London) where there are a number of excellent fee-paying schools that seem to be thriving in the current climate. I suspect it is only the schools that weren't very good to begin with that are now going to struggle financially - leading to a vicious circle of cuts, parents leaving, more cuts etc etc. I am not saying that what you describe isn't happening somewhere, to some schools, but this is simply not the reality in the city I live in.

My friends DS has just got 3x A* and off to Cambridge for medicine. He’s a bright boy that was State Educated, no tutors either.

My children succeeded without going to a private school or a selective school just a "big standard comprehensive '
Going to private school doesn't guarantee good grades just as going to a state school doesn't mean failure. And private schools don't have the best teachers either.

I forgot to add they had a very happy experience at school and they are now confident adults who feel at ease in a variety of situations and with people from all backgronds I can't think of anything extra that a private school might have given them other than the arrogance and sense of entitlement that some privately educated people seem to come away with.

The majority of those who left are those who could no longer afford/justify the big hike after VAT.

For those who aren’t happy with their current school, they usually try another private school rather than simply switch to state.

You mention “standards”. You seem to measure standards by A level results. The results show the opposite of falling standards. The gap between private and state has widened again.

https://www.ft.com/content/c8b5605f-209c-4513-9111-1ccc00f3a07e?syn-25a6b1a6=1

I would say that parents send their child to private school because of a multitude of reasons from bullying to being ND to being shy and just because the parents can afford it.

If that comes with the bonus of good A level results then so be it but that isn’t a guarantee

If your child is NT and reasonably bright and outgoing then getting good A level results isn’t some huge shock that they got them going to a state school

Interested to know what will happen when those ND, SEN children who had to leave their private school or never got the opportunity to go because of VAT on fees made it too expensive for their parents. What will happen to the results when they get to do their A levels

Or will the school have managed them out by that stage.

That’s to be expected again the £250k price tag per student

Vs the free provision at state and mix of children of all abilities and focus to study.

To narrow it down

Value for money

If I have a child who will study they have equal chance to get great grades and go on to the same UNI as this who have “invested” wasted £250k

Ultimately both students end up at the same Uni.

Perhaps even the “struggle” through state

works in the favour of the state candidate and they gain the place at Uni ahead of the mass market independent school candidates all with identical grades…..

If you can only think about independent education as a means to "pay to secure great results at A level results", and you're confident in your ability as a parent to raise "a self driven, self motivated, resourceful child" who'll get the same grades, why would you even care what choices other people make and how they feel about them?

That’s a big £250k

to drop (on something which potentially as we can see, uni state educated candidate selection increase) may be something which matched with a state candidate could rule against them.

My interview would clearly mention my breath of communication skills (with the greater population), adaptability and organic academic ability. One may not have been educated independently but, one can function independently.

I don't think it's all about the grades. I'm in my 40s now and when I meet new people it's still very obvious to me who are the ones who went to private school... I'm not sure what this means and there are probably tens of different ways to interpret this, but there's definitely a difference (whether good or not).

Good (back then)

Not so much now.

Blimey. And if you aren’t all of those things only private will do?

I’m interested in the topic,

value for money.

I’m still confused what your “AIBU” is. You don’t think private school is worth it, so switch to state. Private obviously isn’t the right place for your child. However, for many of us, private absolutely is the best choice for us and we are happy with that decision. Most of us don’t focus on A Level results as the sole benefit though. Everyone is different. Different children suit different schools.