Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

Why are you unable to say no?

We have a dog and don't alway take her with us on breaks. I certainly wouldn't if we were incorporating it with visiting relatives.

I've never had a child throw up in my house (other than my own) and they tend to do so in the toilet anyway.

And they have nappies if not toilet trained and they don't jump up at people and lick their faces.

It's also really insulting to compare pets with children. Anyway people don't consider them a member of the family in many cases, you can tell by the way they talk about them. it's just an object, a fashion accessory, a status symbol. They say "we'll bring the dog". Note the "the". Not "our" dog or "my" dog or "my dog Maisie". The. An object.

Apparently us non-dog people are so horrible. Personally I don't think a lot of dog owners really care about their pets at all.

This thread shows how mad dog ownership has become.

Of course it should have been mentioned. I wouldn't take a dog on a city break. My sister has a dog but has never brought it to us, he stays with his dog walker.

If you are jot used to a dog in the house it's a lot. When I had a (black) dog it shed like mad, I had a special hoover for it and didn't have cream carpets for example. I wouldn't expect someone else to deal with this just on assumption.

How to tell me youre not a dog lover with out actually telling me!!

I'm going to wade in with the anti-dog-people clan. Not anti-dog, you note. But I am fed up with all the dog-people who think that they can impose their dogs on the rest of the world. Especially those that take (or allow!) dogs into food premises.
YANBU, OP. Somebody needs to say something in this instance because this visit is setting a precedent

If you let them visit now with their dog, it's giving them the green light to bring their dog every time they visit!

It'll be much harder to say no in future.

All dogs smell and then there is the issue of where they’re gonna shit…

I wouldn’t want one in my house even for a weekend

I’m guessing your husband isn’t bothered because he was aware that they were going on holiday with their dog (and therefore to yours with the dog too). It’s his brother, after all, and close enough to him to come and stay over. I doubt he’d want to admit this to you though.

You're not being unreasonable at all. It's a shame your husband disagrees though and since it is his house also, not quite sure how you resolve this at this stage.
Although you're right, you shouldn't have to specify no dog, it probably is a good idea because some (not all) dog owners seem to be a bit clueless on this issue.
My son has a huge dog, they know she is always welcome at our house yet they always ask if they need to bring her along. Because it's polite to do so and I assume also because they are in the habit of always checking before they impose their massive dog on other people. She's lovely so we really don't mind but it's not unreasonable if people do.

Hi op why not just message will the dog be ok in our small yard as I know it’s used to your big garden as you know I’m not used to dogs so not sure how it works. They might be thinking you know dog is family so would be a given it’s with them it is more a misunderstanding than Aibu.

"insufferably rude" Jesus calm down Lady Bracknell.

To clarify did you confirm with your BIl and SIL whether they would have the dog with them before the invitation was issued? Who issued the invite? The answer is simple tell them they can't stop.

To be clear I would never assume a host is OK with us staying with our dogs. We would always ask. I don't understand people who don't like dogs but I respect their right not to do but you sound unhinged and reading the tone of the post it feels like there is more to this than simply not wanting a dog to stay.

If I was the BIL or SIL I would carry on south back to my "big house and garden'" and dodge a bullet.

Op is right to be annoyed, I am sure when the BIL and his wife chose their holiday accommodation they checked it was ok to bring the dog or chose somewhere specifically that allowed dogs. They should have extended the OP the same courtesy!
I'd be fuming if someone came to stay at my house and brought a dog with them!

What an absolutely disgusting take. Dogs are the same as houseplants? As teddy bears? Are you for real? That's so mind-numbingly ignorant. You clearly know absolutely zero about animals' ability to feel empathy, pain, joy, jealousy, fear - all scientifically proven - and what's worse you absolutely don't give a shit. The sheer arrogance to think you are above them all.

I was on your side, but now I hope they cancel their visit because you don't sound like a nice person to be around.

I totally agree with OP, to come for a visit and not ask about the dog is rude, as they normally leave the dog somewhere else when they visit.

OP, if they do actually turn up with the dog (so rude) can you say the dog needs to be kept outside? Do you have an enclosed garden? It will do toileting but that's better than having a dog inside your house when you don't want one.

So do some humans

Find it difficult with friends, pathetic isn't it.

What do they normally do with the dog when they visit you?

They’re walking all over you. That’s not how friends should behave.

Who the hell do you think you are, being all reasonable 😂

This is the madness though.
There are people and then there are pets. When we invite people to our homes we are implicitly inviting the people, not the pets.
Dogs are pets, not some special in-between being. The issue is that some dog owners have decided dogs are special compared to other pets, and anthropomorphised them to a point that actually is unfair to dogs.

Most people with dogs book dog friendly accommodation. They usually want to take their dogs away for a same country break.

Yes that suggested response is fine from the OP but doesn't change the fact she is being naive.

You came on here to ask AIBU, some people said yes you are, so you’ve responded in a keyboard warrior fashion being rude and obtuse instead of actually politely raising and querying the dog with your inlaws like a normal person would do.

You’re a real treat 🙄

Oh how lovely. 😍

Misogyny has joined us.