Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

Not for that long, maybe a few hours.

Yes adoption does make a family.
I am going by legal/dictionary definitions. You can have feelings for something. The word family is just not the right one.

This.

this thread is ridiculous. Of course the 3 and 5 year old would be coming with their parents if they’ve just had a mini family holiday in the UK. The home owner might check - are your Tina and Baggins coming? But it’s obvious they are.

of course, it’s NOT obvious the dog is coming at all. Loads of dogs don’t go on holiday. And of course, the dog owners should have said in advance, Jacqueline will be coming with us and she came away with us.

If you are a dog owner, the onus is on you. If you assume we all think you dog goes on all of your holidays and comes with the family 100% of the time, use this thread as a learning point.

People leave them at home for the whole work day without any issue.

I am aware that it was not your intention, but your responses in this thread have amused me, OP, I like you!

And I too would be fuming if people assumed they could bring a dog with them on a visit without even checking.

I understood that the in laws are going there for a couple of days.

They don’t leave them alone for whole weekends though - hopefully not anyway !!

In your opinion

It’s the assumption that’s so cheeky and I think this is what’s pissing the OP off.
Our ILs were once due to come up our house, and we had “we’ve got the dog”, so I had my husband to reply and say no, can’t bring the dog. We’ve got cats !! Like seriously…. He just said the dog will have to wait in the car or not come as the cats would be petrified and would also then be smelling where the dogs had been and spraying all over the house.
But the assumption is cheeky..

Because they only just found out the dog is on holiday with them!!!

OP If you're just posting so you can be rude to people that says enough about you that I hope the dog shits on your bed.

Thank you for this - just spat my morning coffee all over the screen - 🤣

I have just about recovered. Thanks for your ongoing concern.

Exactly.

A houseplant will stay where it's put, is quiet, clean, does not demand a lot of attention.Some of them are even fragrant and have a purifying effect on the air. So, not very much like a dog, but vastly superior in every way.

I would assume if a couple were having a uk holiday they would be taking the dog with them. Why didn’t your husband ask his brother? Before you invited them, especially if he knows your feelings on having a dog in your home.

What are the chances that your husband told his brother that it was fine to bring the dog?

How lovely that you and your houseplant have such a rewarding relationship.

Most peope with dogs do like a bit more interaction tbh.

Disclaimer I have a dog and she does not go to other people's houses uninvited.

OP knows they have a dog though. If they’re holidaying in the UK, I’m really surprised she didn’t think to ask if the dog was with them before she invited them.

Every chance 😆

I’m surprised the visiting couple didn’t think to mention.

Surely the onus is on the dog owners to say the dog will be with them? Not everyone takes their dogs on holiday - kennels and dog-sitters exist.

I would not want a dog in my house (we have a cat) But even without a cat, I would not want a dog in my house. If they turn up with the dog, they are being very rude and presumptuous.

However, if I were in the OP's situation, I can guarantee my DH would not want to rock the boat ....... He would probably offer hospitality to a serial killer, rather than say boo to any of his relatives. But that's whole different thread.

Urgh. Dog owners are so entitled.

"I would assume if a couple were having a uk holiday they would be taking the dog with them."

Yeah so would I. I know that goes against the grain of the thread but when the OP said she didn't know they were taking the dog, I thought well, of course they did. That's what people do.

Thus made me laugh 😆
this whole situation totally alien to me, I come from a family of animal lovers, dogs visiting with them is a given.
in fact my mum is taking my dog on holiday today, she’d rather see the dog than me

but OP isn’t me, her home and the BIL must already know how much she hates dogs

Dog people can be really weird. Usually people that have just one dog. They genuinely do seem to think that it's just another person in their family. But I've never known them force them into weddings when you get and invite to "the family" you instinctively know your dog is not included.

I have cats, I've never assumed they are invited anywhere, nor my rabbits or my sheep. They're all pets. But obviously I know none of my pets would WANT to go, whereas people know their dog would want to go pretty much anywhere.

So it's not really about "he's family" but more "I know he's not actually welcome here, but he likes it and that's far more important than manners" and they really need to stop pretending they consider their dog to be an actual person.