Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

Do you think my brother in law should be clearer in his communication?

So true. And people let them in their beds.🤢. No thanks!

This is true actually! They do do all those things and yet some of us love them still? It is akin to (please note I said akin to, not the same as) how people feel about their own children, who also do all those things. Dogs of course are not children but they do share some unsavoury behaviours.

Just to add - in all other circumstances I would expect them to ask.

Actually, on campsites, it’s not all that unusual to see people with cats. The other week, the lady on the pitch next to me had a bird cage in her motorhome. I was also once a few pitches down from a man with a parrot.

Oooh I agree. OP doesn’t sound friendly at all.

We foster rescue dogs (we've had about 90), and consequently have ended up with a pack of our own (currently 4) that came with behavioural quirks that made them harder to home. I spend my life explaining to people that I can't come because of the dogs. "My DH will come, but I can't come because.... I don't resent it, it's what I have chosen and something I'm good at. Despite that, we have lovely friends and family who say "bring them, we're all adults and your dogs are fun".
I can't imagine how I'd feel to find a close family member who'd posted this thread about us. It would be the end. And it's so cowardly.

Aw, that is cool.
I have had cats, and they were total homebodies and would hate being elsewhere.
If we went away, we got a cat sitter, but we would take the dog with us.

Is it your house or jointly owned with your husband.

just because he is fine with the dog being invited and so I think you have to suck this one up m
or is your husband not allowed guests of his choice in his home

Depending on the breed of dog, it may well be necessary to have a thorough clean after its visit, possibly of the whole house (the dog might have to sleep in the IL's bedroom).

It's summer, dogs are moulting, the hair they shed gets everywhere.

This dog has not recently been to be washed/clipped etc, so it WILL smell of dog, that's just how it is. Therefore that smell will linger in the house.

I would not want a dog staying in my house.

Eta I don't hate dogs, although I am scared of big or aggressive dogs (I was bitten as a child by my aunt's dog).
I think it's very poor form of the IL's not to mention they would have their dog with them - I know many people who put their dog in kennels when they go away in the UK as well as abroad.

Ffs either suck it up or tell them no dog, no reason for the rudeness.

This is your error OP. When you invited them to stay you should have asked about the dog. Big cities are so dog friendly these days and are even allowed in a lot of hotels.

My dog owning friends and relatives would nearly always take their dog on a UK trip with them (bar trips that are spa, gig or fancy restaurant related). If I invited any of them to stay I would expect them to turn up with the dog unless I specifically asked them not too.

Gosh, even if they were turning up with a travelling circus at this point I’d still say your manners are worse!

Most people who have dogs like them, so if going somewhere in the uk that is dog friendly they will usually bring the dog along. You know they have a dog and didn’t mention it was excluded ( in which case they probably wouldn’t have agreed to come), they presumably have no idea you are such a bitch about dogs so have no idea they dog isn’t welcome so either talk to them or stop being so stuck up and taking offence over something that you could easily avoid/have avoided.

And where do you get off intimating “dog people” are not human, you could probably do with an empathy lesson from a pooch of your posts re nothing to go by.

Of my current 4 dogs, only one has ever rolled in shit, and only fox shit. When he has done this, we have bathed him, as it stinks.

Oh yeah that’s different then. They should have checked. Are you sure they’re not planning on boarding the dog for a couple of nights? OH needs clarification here I think so you know what’s coming. For what it’s worth, I don’t want dogs in my house either. They shed hair and it’s not for me. If your OH is firm that he doesn’t mind then a few of his possessions being ruined by the dog should put him straight.

Although, tbf, my children'd bums get washed after a poo and they get bathed every day. No one gives their dog a bath every day or washes their bum after a poo or their feet after being outside. There really isn't an equal comparison. Dog people just accept it and live with it. That's fine in their homes. Personally, it's not for me, regardless of how much I admire certain dogs.

Yes, it is all in the thread.

I haven't once said they are not to bring the dog. I have said the dog was not invited. I have said I don't want the dog to come. I've said they were unreasonable to assume the dog could come. And I've said I expect I will suck it up to keep the peace.

In theory I would get the house cleaned after a dog was in it. But I would not let it in the house in the first place.

I love dogs. I have pets. I don't want other people's pets in my house.

The two things can exist at the same time.

Absolutely this!

I'm not taking offence. I am annoyed that my in-laws are bringing their dog with them. How is that taking offence?

No dogs would be welcome in my house.

I remember stopping at a service station to give our dogs a wee break on a long journey, and being enchanted to see people walking their ferrets on harnesses. 💚

This thread just reminds me of why I prefer dogs to people.🐾🩷

Why is the onus on the host to ask about the dog and not on the owner to ask if it’s ok to bring the dog?