Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

@DoggyAuntie What breed of dog is it?

Seemed clear enough to me.

Dramatique.
you dont even know their plans for the dog yet 🤣
have a convo.

F off. Ugh. You are one of THOSE. Dogs are members of people's families. Just because you hate dogs, doesn't mean other people don't love their dogs and/or cats. We are devastated when something happens to.them, and we do live our lives to include them. They are much better companions than most people.

This is good and doesn't sound at all like a letter from the council about the bins 🤣

I think dog people might be more sensitive and/or offended by OP than non-dog people. I like dogs; had two when I was a child and have very fond memories of them, but I don't own one now and wouldn't want one in my home. I'd be offended if it was expected. It would necessitate extra cleaning and I'd not be happy about that. I get that my view may rub some the wrong way. But, dogs do smell, shed, and are dirty. People who have their dogs in their own homes don't mind it. That's fine, too.

You sound utterly ghastly

I'm not sure. A little happy one.

We have a cat, so there would be no dog coming into our home. Our cat would be stressed out, as he's scared of dogs.

I suspect that your BIL simply didn't think to tell you that the dog was on holiday with them, and therefore would be coming. Unless there's back story of them turning up previously with the dog, without asking.

You have a choice: call your BIL and say, I'm sorry but we can't have the dog in the house, so you can't stay. Or you accept that in order to see and spend time with your BIL, you will need to allow the dog in the house. Regarding of which option you choose, you need to tell your BIL that going forward the dog isn't welcome. You don't want the dog in your home.

Yes, they should have asked. Yes, it's rude to make assumptions. You aren't being unreasonable.

Surely a little happy dog is no problem at all?

All 70% of us?

It is resolved by telling your husband you need to send the friendly message that you didn't realise the dog was with them and that won't work - is there an alternative plan? If you husband is refusing to listen to you, then start a new thread about the state of your marriage.

FFS cats and dog are different. No one takes cats on holidays because they are not social animals like dogs, and you can put out automatic feeders and litter trays for a cat and they will be fine. Dogs need their people.

Well if your husband doesn’t mind (and it’s his house too), then I think there is nothing you can do. It’s no big deal as long as you don’t have a cat. Honestly, stop stressing, worse things happen at sea. Yes they should have checked it was ok, but it’s not material is it?

No it's not "all in the thread". I've read the thread. All you've said is they're not to bring the dog. Fine. What do you expect them to be doing with it while they're visiting with you? Put it in a kennel? Tie it to a lamppost? Leave it in their car? Put it to sleep? Leave it to its own devices somewhere on the streets? Time travel so that they didn't bring the dog with them in the first place? Seriously. What do you expect them to do to comply with your wishes as their host?

I don’t think you should have the dog in your home if you don’t want to and I think they should have checked with you. I do think that perhaps you should have checked this though if they’re on their way home from a type of holiday where you would take a dog (lodge etc) they may have assumed you would realise the dog would be with them. I’ve voted YANBU but I think it’s ever so slightly different because you knew they were coming straight from their holiday.

😀

Hah! My spell checker has been at work!

A little yappy one.

It’s probably happy because it’s happy…. Most dogs are. I think you’ll have to suck it up this time and be clearer in your communication next time.

@Laterlife

The point I was trying to make, perhaps clumsily, was that in my opinion they should have asked about the dog before going on their break.
The OP would still have had an issue in that she and her DH don't agree, but it would have been sorted one way or the other earlier.

This! I would have to be pretty close to someone to either stay at their house, or have them stay at mine. I'd expect that level of of closeness to come with a general knowledge about what happens with the one family's dog when they go on holiday, and the other family's general feelings about having dogs visit. Both parties should have clocked that there was the possibility of this not working - either "Are you taking the dog with you? Ah ok, you could have stayed with us for a couple of nights if he was in kennels" or "Aw we'd love to visit on the way back but we'll have Fido and I don't suppose you want him in staying over".

Her husband doesn’t mind the dog being there though.

so, there’s also that.

That's not the kind of holiday they were on. They were staying in a big city for a couple of days. I had no idea they would take their dog

And?
If youre going to suck it up to keep the peace... be rude to all replies here... then why did you post?
Are you okay, OP?
Happy people dont behave like this.

I would prefer having the dog to visit, over the in-laws. Dogs are so much nicer than people.