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AIBU?

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He's still fucking HERE!! AIBU?

357 replies

Gingernaut · 03/08/2026 11:25

I apologise in advance. This is a very long post, There is even more back story than this.

I have tried not to drip feed.

I'm 58. The eldest of 3. Very glass half empty

I work at a VERY low level job within the NHS, barely above minimum wage

I live in a shitty part of the world - Two decades ago, I bought a three up, three down, mid terraced house, in the hope that, with family help and a loan I could do it up

My family sickened, my life turned to crap, the loan became a complete millstone and I've been unable to do the house up due to lack of funds or sell because the house's current value won't let me buy another place

I have ADHD AND dyslexia, the cost of education is out of reach and I am unqualified apart from O Level, CSE, GCSE level and a useless HND

I am unlikely to get a better paying job

When our parents died owning property in London, middle brother fucked around and got a deed of variation and second brother and I inherited less than we should have done - I was in a very crappy situation, close to killing myself and at least I got some money

Instead of doing the correct thing, I threw money at this dump, got shilled by cowboy builders who since went bust and I am STILL living in a dump in a crappy, slumlord dominated hellscape

At one point, after paying the mortgage off, I was offered £15k for it by a slumlord and I realise I should have bitten his arm off

I would still have enough money to buy a better place in a nicer area

Still, hindsight...20/20...blah,blah

my only 'savings' are the remnants of my inheritance which I am loath to touch as that is my pension/rainy day fund

Think tens of thousands, not hundreds of thousands of £££ - I cannot afford to lose this, spend it rashly or crack into the bonds/savings accounts without penalties

My only saving grace is that I now no longer pay a mortgage, handy, considering I'm paid so little

Middle brother, got a three bedroomed flat in London out of our parents' estate which has only gone up in value since my dad died

He's divorced with two adult children, one of whom is "in law" - Has a law degree and is advising dad

After the sale of the flat, which somehow took forever, he paid his ex-wife and still had a considerable sum of money to buy a place

He moved in in December 2023

It is now August 2026.

At first, it did look temporary.

He did a few jobs around the house, whilst getting to know the area, looking for houses, all the while moving more and more stuff in

Fixed the bathroom window which leaked when it rained and the wind blew in the wrong direction

Found and fixed an issue with the drainage from the cowboy installed upstairs bathroom, digging out a new drain and fixing it to the sewer line in the process

Laid out a new lower path (which causes me issues with a knee injury), but it's now lower than the damp course

Fitted and charged me for a new, unwanted fence but found an issue which had been causing damp in the upstairs bedroom he is now sleeping in

Painted the back of the house after hiring some scaffolding

He started with the damp issue with the downstairs of the house, but stopped more than two years ago

He got caught up spending more and more time in the garden, weeks, in fact

It now looks lovely, but now has grass which needs cutting - Not slumlord or renter friendly

The ONLY people who might have any interest in buying a mid terrace house between tenanted properties will be a landlord and that back yard will cost somewhere in the region of £5k to £10k to take back to slab/concrete/courtyard

There a 20 square foot patch of bare brick in the corner of my back room, signalling to anyone who visits that there is a massive issue with damp and it's been like this for TWO FUCKING YEARS

He found a place, a mid terraced house, but the vendors had to wait for probate

He refused to look for another place

He kept going and bought this dump, with the sale going through in 2024 - It was structurally unsound, near a school, so has parking issues, has antisocial neighbours, but since then he's been promising me that he's leaving

Three dates in 2025 have gone by and he's STILL here

One of the dates, he started shouting at me that I was being insensitive about the death of a guy who he had never mentioned before and he had to go to London to perform a few DIY tasks for his grieving widow

All the while, the space needed to sort the damp issue, make exploratory holes in the flooring to see the extent has been taken up with his hoard

The front room is filled with his tools, desk and chair, the second bedroom is filled with his stuff as well

I started this low paid job as I needed a break from the shift work which was slowly doing my head in

I took a £1k a month pay cut to have regular hours

I worked on small pieces of salvaged furniture, I have an interest in sewing and embroidery and bought an expensive scanner for all the family photographs which I intended to digitise for the rest of the family

All these plans have been turned to shit

The fabrics and thread are inaccessible due to them being locked away in the spare bedroom - more than likely being eaten with moths

The scanner is up and out of reach, there is nowhere to lay it out to operate it

The front room, where the furniture used to be worked on is now hoarded out with tools

I have removed the dining table in the back room to create space - It's now used for drying laundry

Better yet, I am allergic to a variety of foodstuffs which Middle Brother insists on cooking - My own kitchen is inaccessible to me and he sees nothing wrong with this

I have told him to leave - HE refuses and has taken advice from his son to say this is correct

Sum total of the legal argument is "But he'll be homeless"

He insists that the work he's done has more than paid for his rent AND all bills

Yes, reader, in case you're still here, he has not paid any of the bills aside from three months, when he showed willing, all the while piling more stuff up in the house

He does have a storage unit

I have lost the single person's council tax discount and I am paying increased gas and electric bills

I have taken paid legal advice and been told that as he has done some work to the place he may have a beneficial interest in a house I have owned for decades

I have gone into "petty mode"

I have stripped the gas hob and oven of everything to make them useable - Gas consumption has dropped to the point that some days, the standing charge is higher than the cost of the gas used on a daily basis

He then insisted that the washing machine wasn't rinsing properly and started to do two washes - One for the wash and one for the rinse - of course the electricity went up

I removed the machine drawer - A friend at work is looking after it for me

To me, the storage and laundrette costs are more than the cost saved, but I am petty as fuck

Middle brother has now bought an electric hob and his own microwave

Taking up more fucking space and using more electricity

Matters are not helped by the state of his house

During the early Spring, when family visited from all over, he took us on a "tour" of the house

We could stand in the front room, look up and see the underside of the roof

When I challenged him during one Saturday in July about the state of my finances and when he was moving out he gave me an instruction to wear solid shoes and he would take me over to see the state of the place

Sunday morning he confessed that he has spent months digging a hole and there was so little progress on the house that I would notice

He bought such a fucking garbage patch that a well, you know, a water type well, outside his kitchen door has been leaking and damaging the foundations

He had been digging out the well by hand and performing groundworks outside the house after taking advice

And the foundations need to dry out,

And he has to create a soakaway

And the house cannot be moved into

I am beyond fucking livid

This parasite is leeching off his poorly paid and increasingly disabled sister, forcing her to eat out of packets due to his selfishness in the kitchen and he is on side quest after side quest

Electric bike, well, garden etc

Even in his own house, because he has no front garden, he can't park a skip on the road due to the parking issues around the school - A huge portion of the rubble from the works is in 'cages' around the garden, forming building blocks for walls

He has no bathroom or kitchen and this will remain so for some time

Instead of working on the house today he's got a "van job"

I had to take a day off to let the BG Boiler man do his annual survey, hence this rant

The people at work area aware of my predicament - I have two half joking offers of help to dispose of his corpse should I kill him

We worked out I needed two volunteers, because he has two vehicles. They are both dog owners and know remote spots to dispose of the vehicles and his corpse

We jokingly planned it all out, utterly deadpan

I have been referred to safeguarding on the grounds of financial abuse, their referral upwards failed to progress as there are plenty of others in greater need than me and my case was not considered severe enough

The police were useless - "Well, have you told him to leave?"

My paid legal advisor told me he may have a beneficial interest in the house

A house I have owned and lived in for over two decades

What can I do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Cantyouseethishorselovesme · 28/08/2026 11:13

Well done Gingernaut!!

MildlyMoist · 28/08/2026 11:15

🎉🎉🎉💃💃💃

Brilliant work, @Gingernaut ! The rest of your life starts today.

Networksecurity · 28/08/2026 11:42

Congratulations

He has no reason to return

As an adult male, he can house himself !

SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet · 28/08/2026 12:49

Yep, well done!

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:50

Networksecurity · 28/08/2026 11:42

Congratulations

He has no reason to return

As an adult male, he can house himself !

He's made reasons to return

In response to this

He's still fucking HERE!! AIBU?
OP posts:
Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

Networksecurity · 28/08/2026 11:42

Congratulations

He has no reason to return

As an adult male, he can house himself !

He replied with this

He's still fucking HERE!! AIBU?
OP posts:
Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

I'm still considering my reply

OP posts:
SharpWriter · 28/08/2026 12:54

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:50

He's made reasons to return

In response to this

Blimey OP. You're awesome! You should hire yourself out as a Cocklodger Remover - you'd make a fortune.

Planesmistakenforstars · 28/08/2026 13:01

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

I'm still considering my reply

I will leave your laptop and phone charger out on the porch, as with anything else you want to collect at your own convenience. Otherwise you can stick to the times above.

SunnyRedSnail · 28/08/2026 13:05

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

He replied with this

Why on earth didn't he take them if they were that important?!?!

Just reply "I'll pop them in a box outside the front door at 3pm" or something.

Heronwatcher · 28/08/2026 13:05

Tell him to get an Amazon locker and you’ll leave it there, or you’ll wrap the laptop and a pair of pyjamas in a bin bag and put it under a bush in the back garden!

Seriously if he needs his stuff he should have taken it with him. He’s just trying to get you to give him a spare key.

Anyway why does he need his stuff (other than a bag of clothes) so urgently when all he’s done for the last 3 years is tunnel and render his own house uninhabitable? All he needs is a sledgehammer and a trowel from B&Q and he’s all set!

Networksecurity · 28/08/2026 13:05

Do NOT let him back in !

Millytante · 28/08/2026 13:06

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

He replied with this

Why didn't the twat of a man bring these essentials with him?
Answer: he needed pretexts for returning for supposedly urgent reasons.
Feck’s sake, you gave him enough warning about today. Predictable tactics by him.

MildlyMoist · 28/08/2026 13:07

‘What is unreasonable is you not removing belongings you need before you were evicted. I will, exceptionally, put these things in a bag in the front garden for you to collect. This is a one-off.’

Millytante · 28/08/2026 13:09

SunnyRedSnail · 28/08/2026 13:05

Why on earth didn't he take them if they were that important?!?!

Just reply "I'll pop them in a box outside the front door at 3pm" or something.

Seriously OP. Show him you mean business, follow through on this and leave it all outside for him.
He’s going to see how far he can get behind your defences. It’ll be a cherished bradawl required tomorrow, and a vintage measuring tale on Monday.

Shock him with your adamantine refusal to budge.

ShrubLover · 28/08/2026 13:15

I would be tempted to pay a 'man with a van' to take all his stuff to his house. I know you bear absolutely no responsibility for spending any money on him but for me it would be worth it. I would tell him he needs to be available to collect it or it will be dumped outside his front door. Alternatively, can you dump it outside your house in available waterproof manner? Also I wouldn't be giving him any time slots to visit etc, I would tell him he is not welcome in your house ever again. Well done Gingernaut!

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/08/2026 13:50

Dump it out in a binliner THEN text him 'your stuff is available on the doorstep now'.
He wants it immediately, you've given access to it immediately. His problem if its nicked before he can get it.

Hohumbrumbrum · 28/08/2026 14:05

Networksecurity · 28/08/2026 13:05

Do NOT let him back in !

This.

Do not let him pass the threshold of your property or you won't get him out again!

He can collect his stuff from your doorstep but he does not come in.

Catza · 28/08/2026 14:18

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 12:51

I'm still considering my reply

The reply is that he can collect from the doorstep between 1 and 3pm tomorrow.

I wouldn't worry too much about the phone charger as he can surely pick one up for a fiver in his nearest supermarket. And unless he is WFH, I don't see what's so urgent about having a laptop today.

mbosnz · 28/08/2026 14:22

I wouldn't reply. He knew what the date was. He chose what to take, and what to leave. You've told him when he can pick up anything he left behind. That's when he can rely on you being there to facilitate it. Just ignore the silly fucker.

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 15:03

SharpWriter · 28/08/2026 12:54

Blimey OP. You're awesome! You should hire yourself out as a Cocklodger Remover - you'd make a fortune.

Nah. 🥺

It ha literally taken years to get this far

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 15:25

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/08/2026 13:50

Dump it out in a binliner THEN text him 'your stuff is available on the doorstep now'.
He wants it immediately, you've given access to it immediately. His problem if its nicked before he can get it.

Nah. 🥺

Now it's in my possession, I have a duty of care to ensure it's not lost, stolen

OP posts:
toadinthewotsit · 28/08/2026 15:28

OOh, get in, OP!!!!!😉
I would take him at his word and put everything outside.One text to tell him its done.Keep the text.Take a photo of his stuff outside.Up to him if/when he arrives to pick through his crap.But absolutely no further contact with him or any of his supporters.Don't explain, don't complain.And if he turns up banging on your door just phone the police, don't forewarn him, just do it.And welcome to the first day of your exciting new life!

Heronwatcher · 28/08/2026 15:45

Gingernaut · 28/08/2026 15:25

Nah. 🥺

Now it's in my possession, I have a duty of care to ensure it's not lost, stolen

Possibly in the short term, but in reality if he’s chosen not to take it with him for 3 years and if, say, you give him a further reasonable chance to collect everything which he refuses to take then no, legally he’s probably abandoned it, so you don’t have an ongoing duty to dance to his tune just because he still hasn’t removed his shite.

I’d be playing nice this weekend (obviously don’t let him in or give him a key) and then giving him a date when everything, and you mean everything needs to be gone by, or you will take it to the recycling depot/ donate it to charity. Otherwise he’s just going to hold you to ransom over his tat.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 28/08/2026 16:14

He's left his 'essentials' as a way to try get back in. I wouldn't let him back into the house, or even open the door to him. Be firm in arranging a day and time, then leave it all outside before he arrives.