To not want to give my DSD the money we would have spent on her holiday

[ZestLemon]

We're a family of five: myself, my husband, our two children (12 & 14), and my stepdaughter, who is 18.

My stepdaughter lives with her mum full time and is very much in independent 'mode' now, so rather than following a set routine she comes over whenever she wants.

We're booked to go to Disney World in Florida next year with our two children doe 3 weeks, we are doing all the big attractions such as universal too. We invited my stepdaughter to come too, but she has said Disney isn't really her thing and she didn't think she'd enjoy it. Fine, not a problem!

However, her mum has now had the cheek texted saying that because my stepdaughter isn't coming, we should give DSD the equivalent amount of money that we would have spent on her so she can go on holiday with her friends instead.....

AIBU, or is she mad?!? We have said no but she is now texting all sorts of abuse.

The Disney trip is costing us over 10k and we are only doing a cheap trip this year to save for it.
Yes, we have spent less because she's chosen not to come, but that was entirely her decision.

Yeah well they don't all like it - and clearly this girl doesn't and many would be the same at that age, especially going with ss several years younger.

I think it is a bit weird people arguing how teens love it when she patently isn't interested.

There are groups of people of all ages who absolutely adore Disney, get engaged there, go annually, collect the memorabilia. But that is by no means the norm.

Nobody is arguing that, they’re refuting when people like yourself say ‘18 year olds don’t go with their old folk’ which is definitely not true.

Not all 18 year olds will love Disney, the vast majority would. And we should be clear here, OP isn’t just going to Disney, she is going to Orlando and most of the major attractions there.

Yes but that doesn't change the fact that if they were so desperate for Disney they could jump on the eurostar. But most choose party destinations, or ski destinations or other places where young people congregate without hordes of guests still in nappies.

The DD chose Ibiza: that says it all.

Because a group of teens can’t afford to do DLP…it’s three times the price of going to Ibiza or similar.

Also DLP and WDW aren’t comparable in the slightest. You can’t say that because a group of teens didn’t go to DLP that means they would like WDW…that’s just a really bizarre thing to claim.

My preference would have always been to go to WDW as a teen, but at 18 you can’t really go yourself due to them seeing 21 as adult and the rules around hotel stays being stricter than here. Plus just because one can afford it doesn’t mean all can. At that age me and a few friends were all going with our parents to Disney, and then going to Tenerife or Spain with boyfriends because that’s all we could afford on our own.

I love Disney. I loved it as a child, I love it as an adult (within reason).

We have taken our dc more than once. But if they got to 18 and we were taking them then, I'd pause and say "Are you still keen on this or did we kind of miss the boat?" Fine if they answered either way - which they might - but it isn't beyond contemplation that an 18 year old might much prefer something else. I don't get the impression at all that this trip was chosen with her in mind.

And I guess that is why the mum is saying maybe you could do another trip with her in mind, since the others have had this one - and apparently OP is taking them on a different mum and kids jaunt as well.

Not all, I wouldn’t have at that age either. It s clearly something that would be pretty divisive at the least

When did you last visit?

DLP by eurostar is not as expensive as you are claiming. They could easily go for a day from an airport hotel at CDG.

But anyway, the whole point is not whether some might like it, or prefer WDW, but the fact this particular teen would seem to be of the not uncommon view that right now she has grown out of it.

The 18 year old has been on her family holidays her entire life, and she has been offered a holiday but has chosen not to go. It doesn’t matter where the holiday is, she had a choice to go or not, she hasn’t been left out.

Just because she doesn’t fancy this one, that she can expect another holiday. She is an adult and was offered the holiday anyway, but she can’t just have a different one because she feels like it.

There are loads of threads on here asking if they need to take dc before ages like 11. And plenty of posters say yes. (I personally think 9-11 is a sweet spot).

But many, many people see Disney as aimed at children.

Ok, so the amount you want to spend on a day trip (which is insane btw because you want them to go to both parks on the same day they take the train there and back…can’t happen also they need an overnight) is going to be almost the same as an ENTIRE HOLIDAY to Ibiza or similar…but one gets you a full holiday and the other a 2 day/1 night trip.

why are you so desperate to make a point that doesn’t work. I’m bored with this now…👋

Yes, but that is incorrect. Also the OP is going to Orlando so not just Disney but a lot of the parks as she has described earlier

That's crazy 🤣 🤣 🤣 she doesn't get money because she chose not to come

You are the one focused on whether she should or shouldn't like Disney.

I accept from the fact she doesn't even want to go that she doesn't much like the idea.

My point isn't linked to that so much as the fact that in our family we wouldn't choose a trip we knew one of us wouldn't like because that isn't what family trips are about. And if for some reason we did, the next trip would be geared to that family member, which is all the mother has suggested.

Last year, at 35. As another poster said, I think most teens / young adults go through a stage where they are not interested in things like Disney.

ZestLemon · 30/07/2026 17:09
Other suggestion has been we book another holiday for all 5 of us but aimed at something she likes instead! I think she thinks we are loaded!

The DSD DM didn’t suggest the next trip be geared towards her, she said they should book ANOTHER trip…if it was the trip the following year it would be reasonable, but it isn’t, it’s another one. If it had been a request for a contribution to a holiday for DSD to go with friends, that too would have been reasonable, but she didn’t…she instead asked for the cash equivalent