AIBU to feel too frightened to walk my dog after this?

[Felixfox]

I have a German shepherd. I specifically chose a German shepherd because I thought people wouldn’t mess with me. Long story short, this guy stalked us for an hour on a near deserted common with woodland etc. I was on the path back to the car park and just happened to notice him dip behind a large hedge, about 75 metres in front of me. I waited for 10/15 minutes. Eventually I thought to myself, no way did I see that, and started up the track. A few seconds later he came out, stood in front of me for a few seconds (at a distance) and then disappeared into the heather and trees. I could not believe it. He had been waiting for me. I called the police and was beside myself. Occasionally, I would see him peer out from behind tree. After what seemed a long time they turned up but they never found him. I don’t know what to do. I am terrified every time I take my dog for a walk. I have had therapy which didn’t really work. I feel so angry and stuck. How dare he do this to me? Advice PLEASE!!! X

What did the cops say

how have you trained her though?

Any protection training needs to be done by professionals. Not by you. There's a thin line between protective and dangerous and any incident could lead to her being put down.

You also need to learn to be more aggressive yourself. This situation is a classic example of when to act bolshy and stroppy. Act like you aren't afraid to start something. Be more trouble than you're worth.

Get him on the back foot. Be loud, teach your dog to 'speak ' on command. Have her bark at him. Mines a lab but he sounds terrifying when I ask him to bark.

'You want to tell me why you're hiding in the bushes, mate? You look like a fucking pervert. You're going to want to walk the other way, before I let my dog go, or you're not going to be walking anywhere."

Could you walk somewhere else, OP? I wouldn’t feel comfortable going back on that path alone.

Silly. Comical.

I can understand this being terrifying for you, but I can’t understand how it’s affected your dog. Did he threaten you in close proximity? I read it like you stayed at a distance away from the stalker whilst you waited for the police, so how did the dog get spooked?

I wonder if your dog is feeding off your anxiety causing reactive and protective behaviour?

Have you thought about hypnotherapy. I thought it was a load of old bum fluff but I had excellent results trying to get over a particularly distressing even I just couldn’t conquer. It rarely gets head room now!

There are female protection classes called 'strike back'. Dragons Den backed.

Your GSD would definitely have attacked if you let go of the lead. We had 7 and they have a natural instinct to floor.
Do not walk in the dark and stick to well populated areas. Wear a camera.

My mum was a police officer and always had these dogs and they are happy just to be out with you. No need to be off the lead daily if you have a garden. Just make sure you pick up!

Was the incident below before or after you having the dog?

The incident was above.

More therapy.
Carry a personal alarm.
Share your location with an emergency contact when you’re out on your walks.
Take some self defence classes.

I’m very sorry this happened to you. However you need to get into the mindset that you can’t let this prevent you from walking your dog in similar surroundings. It’s shit, we shouldn’t need to carry things to defend ourselves with. It’s also easier said than done to overcome a scary and traumatic event. So please be easy on yourself.

What kind of therapy did you have?

Definitely carry a personal alarm, I always carry one when I’m walking my dog alone. And yes self defence classes, I also strongly suspect your dog would naturally defend you.

If you’re terrified every time you walk your dog then you need to rehome your dog - dogs pick up on emotions, particularly distress, which your dog clearly has already done judging by your follow up posts. Incredibly negligent behaviour to get a dog for protection, not having it trained for that purpose by a professional and then muck up your dogs temperament to the point you now have.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but German shepherds need competent owners. Not someone who has caused a once placid dog to react every time it sees someone. You give German shepherd owners everywhere a bad name.

Honestly I can’t believe you’re being so blasé about a large, powerful dog, that will ‘try and attack anything.’ I presume as it’s ‘for defence’ you don’t even muzzle it?

Incidentally, I have Goldens. Always walk by myself and often very remotely including late at night and weekly in the morning in the dark. Never had an incident occur like this, although I have been followed but I’m not fussed as I’ve taken self defence classes. The only people who get dogs because they’re scared are people like Eddie Hall - would be Z-listers with more money than sense.

Get yourself therapy, self defence classes and rehome your dog to someone competent enough to un-fuck the behaviour you’ve installed in it before it ends up hurting an innocent person through your incompetent ownership.

I’m sorry this happened to you - it makes me so angry that as women we have to even consider this when out. I regularly run/walk in fairly deserted areas with my 2 dogs (lab crosses). I’d like to think that just the presence of 2 largish dogs would make someone think twice about doing anything, but also don’t underestimate the protective instinct and intuition of your GS, and in this situation that fact that she’s reactive is probably a bonus.

I’ve not been in exactly the same situation as you but one of my dogs seems to ‘know’ if something isn’t right - they usually just stay by my side when I come across another person but once a man in the woods seemed too friendly and wanted to chat. Both dogs started barking continuously and the one dog growled and bared her teeth (which she’d never done before at a person) - her reaction really spooked me and thankfully the man got the impression fairly quickly that hanging around wasn’t a good idea.

That said, I think carrying some sort of alarm/pepper spray and learning martial arts are also excellent ideas. I try to keep my fitness up and strength train, and if nothing else psychologically I feel I could fight back, even if this might not be the case.

OP is getting lots of negative reactions here! I don't blame her for being anxious, it's something you do have to think about as a female.

I don't walk our dog early or late in the fields near us any more on my own. There have been a couple of women attacked and there has also recently been reports of a gang of 4 men carrying out muggings and bike thefts.

There have also been assaults in the woods I used to go to and lots of reports of car theft and vehicle crime on dog walkers' cars so I stopped going there.

My mum was flashed once by a man out walking and that was at school finishing time, the man was obviously targeting teenagers.

The German Shepherd probably would have reacted if the man had tried to hurt her but it's still frightening and intimidating.

This happened to me on a walk with my dog, we were followed in the dark by a man who kept calling out to me and getting closer and closer. I threatened to let my dog off the lead (he’s a bit of a sap but he was also frightened so he was really tense and started growling so he looked scary enough at the time!), the man kept coming so I parked my dog and let him face the man, still growling, and reached for his lead clip, and eventually the man ran off.

It’s such a horrible thing to happen, and whilst it hasn’t stopped me solo walking with him, we don’t walk there anymore. I hope you’re okay

I cannot believe that these absolute fucking arse-wipes still start on women who have big dogs with them. I mean what do we need to do? Go out with a pack of six rottweilers, ffs?

Can you walk somewhere less isolated from now on? Muzzle your dog if you need to. It's not a brilliant solution as you shouldn't have to do this but feeling - and being - safe is the most important thing.

In a self defence class I once did the teacher recommended taking 2 leads on a remote dog walk. One to attach to the dog and the other for spinning/circling around to stop anyone getting near you.

That said, when I'm walking my dog alone I generally do try to keep within earshot of others e.g. choosing the path at the edge of the woods near to another busier path rather than the one that goes through the middle of the wood.

A horrible feeling OP although hypothetically I could own a tiger & still wouldn't walk in the middle of nowhere.

I would have taken my dog off the lead to protect me. Yes mine is reactive too and does bite. But I’d allow it in self defence. Next time you see it get your phone out and film it. Perhaps the police will recognise him.

Agree with this. We had a man hiding behind trees and bushes near me and although I did change my route so I wouldn't be going right up to him as I would have, I made sure to keep my head turned in his direction and hold my phone up to take obvious pictures so he saw I knew he was there. I also warned the next person I saw with their dog in the area and reported it on 111 with the pictures. Sadly I think mental health care is struggling to the point of missing offending behaviour like this until it becomes criminal so I can understand your worry but the dog will be little use on it's own and most follow the owners emotions in my experience. Even labs can get funny with dogs who's owners are very neurotic because they have learnt behaviours from their owner and react when they see another person approaching. It can often cause issues, so I think assertive confidence from you and training for both of you would be useful.

I'm sorry that his happened to you OP, it's extremely worrying. You should share a description of the man on local Facebook groups to help protect other women who may use the area to walk. It may have happened to others and may help provide more information to the police.

It sounds like your lovely dog did his job if it deterred the man and discouraged him from approaching you

It's a shame we can't carry pepper spray!

This. Do not stick to a routine. And take something to defend yourself with.

I was walking my large but totally soppy dog somewhere similar when a couple came up to me and told me I was being followed by a man. I hadn’t noticed anything. They were lovely and we walked back together. They reported the matter to the police as I couldn’t give a description. It turns out he was a local nutter already know to the police for strange and sometimes violent behaviour 😳
I walked somewhere else for a few weeks but then thought- sod it- I’m not having my life limited in any way by some creep and went back to walking in this area whilst remaining vigilant. I never saw him again.
Hope you can get over this OP 💐.