AIBU to think my boyfriend’s comment was unnecessary?

[Haalan]

For dinner tonight we had a meal from the chip shop. We shared a bag of chips amongst other things. The portions are genuinely massive so there’s plenty for two people.

I didn’t want that many chips but I like the small, crispy chips. I said this to my boyfriend- that I really only like the ‘small and thin ones’ - he replied ‘don’t we all?’

I am very tall and well built. I am not massive but I’m certainly not thin. My BF’a ‘type’ is petite women. Obviously I do not fit his ideal.

i asked him what he meant by this and he said that he was talking about the chips. However not ten seconds before, he’d been saying that he wasn’t bothered and liked all of it. He acknowledged that he knew that what he said could be interpreted as him talking about women.

Aibu to think his comment was unnecessary and that there’s no need for him to say this to me?

He thinks that I am being unreasonable.

I will admit that all of this sounds like we are 15 but we are actually in our 40s/50s.

I just feel like he is constantly reminding me that I’m not his ideal type.

Do you like each other?

He doesn’t sound like a very nice guy. At best he’s insensitive and at worst he’s negging you. YANBU and deserve better.

I don't think you could prove this wasn't about the fries

You are over thinking it?

Maybe he does 'like the small crispy chips' - exactly what he said.

He admitted that he knew that one of the interpretations was that he was talking about woman. He then said that he thought it would be amusing.

Wow you managed to assume all of that from a joke about chips 😂

What do you want to do about it though?
Is it bad enough that you want to leave? Or just put up with it?

Maybe I am being over sensitive - thank you for your opinions. 🙂

Amusing- AKA bringing you down so he can have the upper hand.

No if it was a double- entendre he's out of order

Little sly comments is how it starts. It’s a known tactic, test the boundaries with ‘jokes’ see how far you can go.

You sound like very hard work.

All he said was "dont we all?". At worst it's a stupid joke. Why are you giving it so much headspace even starting a thread on here.

What's he like generally? If this was an out of character one off and he was usually complimentary, generous, kind and attentive then maybe he's allowed one crass moment. However, if this is a tendency that surfaces at intervals, I would be questioning whether that person beneath the surface was one I wanted as my partner.

It’s just a comedy reflex double entendre. Unless he makes the same sort of comment about petite women a lot - in which case him doing that overall is insensitive and rude. You say “he is constantly reminding you” - does he make this exact type of comment a lot?

It was just one of those stupid jokes.

Like saying ‘as the actress said to the bishop’ or ‘ooooh missus’

He would probably have said the same had you said “I like the big ones that are a proper mouthful’

Don’t take it personally.

Or be insecure.

You are the woman he eats shared chips with.

It sounds like one of those jokes that was just asking to be made - I’m not sure you can take it as a real reflection of his preferences around women.

He sounds mean.
I don't understand the comments where pp are trying to make out it was just about chips when the op clearly says her bf admitted it could be about women and he thought it would be amusing.

It's not a joke, it's not amusing or funny, and op is not being oversensitive.

Trust your instincts op, he was putting you down and eroding your confidence. You don't need to stay with someone like this.

Tell him that unfortunately for him your preference for small thin ones only applies to chips.

You should’ve said “except when it comes to penises but we don’t always get what we want” 🤣🤣

My boyfriend would have made a penis joke if I said that, with a fake hurt look. But we’re childish like that - mumsnetters don’t usually approve of that kind of joke!

I’d really let this go. You said something, there was low hanging fruit there for a joke, he made it. Who actually cares?

Been there @Haalan. It's shit and I'd start reminding him how physically, HE wouldn't be your first choice either.

Fucking men.

I thought he was talking about penises.
If you liked him and things were well, you might laugh (or tell him not to be disgusting, but still know it was a joke). If he doesn't treat you kindly or is always criticizing you, it would hurt.
Whether you feel hurt or not is a reflection on the overall relationship.

He sounds like a knob. I wouldn't keep seeing a man who said shit like this. He's basically telling you he's "settling" whereas the truth is, it's YOU who's settling. Find a man who adores you and is bloody grateful every day for the wonder that you are. I wouldn't accept anything less and neither should you. This guy doesn't deserve you and isn't nearly good enough for you.

Except OP clearly says that this what he constantly tells her.