AIBU to think my boyfriend’s comment was unnecessary?

[Haalan]

For dinner tonight we had a meal from the chip shop. We shared a bag of chips amongst other things. The portions are genuinely massive so there’s plenty for two people.

I didn’t want that many chips but I like the small, crispy chips. I said this to my boyfriend- that I really only like the ‘small and thin ones’ - he replied ‘don’t we all?’

I am very tall and well built. I am not massive but I’m certainly not thin. My BF’a ‘type’ is petite women. Obviously I do not fit his ideal.

i asked him what he meant by this and he said that he was talking about the chips. However not ten seconds before, he’d been saying that he wasn’t bothered and liked all of it. He acknowledged that he knew that what he said could be interpreted as him talking about women.

Aibu to think his comment was unnecessary and that there’s no need for him to say this to me?

He thinks that I am being unreasonable.

I can see why that comment landed badly, especially given the context of knowing his usual preference is for petite women. Even if he genuinely meant the chips, he should have realised how it could sound and reassured you rather than dismissing why it upset you. My partner and I have had moments where something was technically harmless but hit a sensitive spot, and the important bit is acknowledging the impact rather than arguing the intention. That said, I don’t think one throwaway comment automatically means he was making a dig at your body, but it’s fair to tell him that comments like that can make you feel compared or judged.

I didn't even think this wouldn't be about the chips until I read the rest, do you think you're just projecting your insecurities onto him?

That's exactly the kind of thing I'd say, as innuendo. Chill out.

Little sly comments is how it starts. It’s a known tactic, test the boundaries with ‘jokes’ see how far you can go.
Or it can be postcard innuendo, otherwise known as being a bit cheeky.

My dh isn't my type. He has no idea. Why would he ?

Should have just replied Yeah, luckily for you!

How do you know that's his normal type? Did you ask or did he just decide to tell you?

You didn't have to leave it. That's what he's hoping you'll do, but I guarantee it won't be the last little jobs. How do you know you're 'not his type'? Has he told you that?

He is with you despite the fact you aren’t his “type”. Doesn’t that mean he finds something in you that makes you more important to him than simply how you look?

Before I met my husband, my “type” was generally short, sporty men, muscular, well groomed and turned out. My husband is the polar opposite of that in every way. After our first date, I didn’t think I would see him again, he was too tall, a total geek, no style whatsoever. But I went for a second date, and a third, and I was totally hooked. We’ve been together 26 years, married for 20, and honestly, the thought of being with a guy that suited “my type” send shivers down my spine. They were so high maintenance!

How do you know his type? What’s been said before about that?

He told me what his type is. I have never asked about it, I just don’t want to know.

Its an obvious reply to your statement.

However it was insensitive of him. If this immediately 'reminds' you that you are not his 'ideal type' you are not secure in this relationship. (And he's probably an idiot).

Its an obvious reply to your statement.

However it was insensitive of him. If this immediately 'reminds' you that you are not his 'ideal type' you are not secure in this relationship. (And he's probably an idiot).

You realise this is a tactic of abusive people, don't you? Why would you tell someone 'your type' when it's not them. He's trying to make you feel insecure and at the same time grateful he's 'lowering himself' to be with someone like you when you're not his type. IN THE BIN.

‘Yes. Although the thick, fat ones can be very satisfying indeed’

I did say this to him. Objectively speaking I suppose I am more attractive than him. I’m also ten years younger than him which I think he struggles with sometimes. However he was adamant that he had nothing to gain from doing this.

He sounds pathetic to be honest. Please don’t let this man affect your view of yourself. If anything, let him go find someone of ‘his type’ to be with, so you’re freed up to find someone who bigs you up rather than drags you down.

This.. how can anyone say it was about chips. The fact you even know he likes small and thin ones anyway tells us he has mentioned it before. He’s a negger!

How did you end up with him if he isn’t your type? Are you his type?