Soooo fed up of having to sleep on thr floor in my toddler’s room

[Beachbooks]

My son is 21 months and used to self settle and sleep 12 hours a night.

Last month he started fighting his nap and waking up at 5am. Everything I read online said not to start their day at that time so I went into his room and laid down on the floor to try and get him to settle again. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t.

Then a week or so later he started kicking off at bedtime and climbing out his cot so we had to take the sides off. Initially he refused to sleep in the bed so has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. He wouldn’t go to sleep unless I was in the room and was waking up at 4 and I was having to go into his room and sleep on the floor again.

This week things have got even worse - he’s taking 90 minutes + to fall sleep no matter what time I put him to bed then waking up a couple of hours later and will not sleep unless I stay in his room. I waited an hour when he woke up at 10 this evening and when I was sure he was asleep I crept out and of course he woke up screaming again.

So I’ve got another night of sleeping on the floor ahead of me.

I’m just sooooo fed up of it, the room is not big enough for another mattress so I’m on a yoga mat which isn’t really any help and I have a bad back anyway and this is making it worse

i don’t even know the point of this thread but I just need to rant as I’m just hating this at the moment and feels like every night is worse than the last. I just don’t know what to do with him.

We had this about this age too and we also had a newborn thrown in the mix it was hell and the most exhausted I’ve ever been in my life so you have my sympathy! The problem is too the more my son woke up the more he got into that routine of waking up early and regularly! The ONLY thing that worked for us after months and months of trying different things is what me and my husband fondly refer to as ‘breaking him’ 🤣 basically, we cut all naps (had to stop driving anywhere in the day for a while because he would always fall asleep) and we kept him up until about 10pm and had really busy days. After about a week he was so tired he was falling asleep on the sofa y 7pm, we literally couldn’t keep him up and he was sleeping through. That is the only thing that worked for us. The other thing I will say is the internet and ‘sleep specialists’ will tell you sleep breeds more sleep which is the BIGGEST load of bollocks and do not try it because it will only make things worse for you like it did for us 😂

I will try this thank you - yesterday he had about 8 hours sleep max as hes been up since 4.30. Up until a few weeks ago he was having 14-15 hours. Is it normal to drop so much so suddenly ? He’s not 2 yet.

@Nellynoo182 I can’t even imagine how hard this phase must be with a newborn as well. We were thinking about no.2 but this is putting me off lol

did your boy go back to naps in thr end as well ?

Thankfully I am as I can’t imagine having to go to work on such little sleep and I know they are lots of women that do who have my full admiration !!

We spend every afternoon at the park already but think I’m going to have to try a later bedtime and will offer a snack

This. He will cry, because toddlers dont like change, and crying gets your attention. He is safe in the bed. Remind him you are with him in the house and can hear him if he's ill etc.

The first two or three nights it might take hours of returning him to bed but you need to persevere.

A tired mummy with a bad back is not a good mummy. Its better for him if you can get the sleep you need

No, its not normal, he soumds like he is overtired. If you "miss the window" when a child is tired cortisol kicks in which is bad for sleep.

It sounds crazy but in your shoes id be trying a very early bedtime - 6, 6.15 if hes had no nap.

Your reaction is quite extreme for such a short period of rubbish sleep. You’re luckily he went down easily and slept for 12 hours so so long, that’s fairly rare. All sorts of things can bother them, molar teething, growing pains, feeling anxious. It’s all just an up and down for most people.
It’s only been a week in his room, eventually you won’t have to do it.

@Fluffyscrubber ive been going into his room for over a month now - yes intially it was just an hour or two in the morning but it’s just getting worse and worse. My husband works abroad a lot so it’s just me having to deal with it and I’m exhausted. But thank you for such a helpful post.

@Fluffyscrubberlots of parents (me included) would react like this. Everyone is different as to how much sleep they need and how they react if they don’t get it.

Hell would freeze over before I would be sleeping on a yoga mat in my kid’s bedroom. Time to engage in a period of sleep training and returning him to his bed consistently until he learns.

Parents are in charge.

Get him in a proper bed so you can lay on it with him.
As frustrating as it is, remember this is a phase and you just need to get back into the swing of things. Have a look at naps, maybe a they are too long or too late.
Hope it improves soon for you

We had this exactly situation at the same age, it’s the shift in their sleeping patterns and then they get overtired so don’t sleep as well. I asked chat gpt and it said to put her to bed earlier so she was going down at 6pm and we left her but consistently ‘checked her’ every 5 mins or so, telling her we would come back. Obviously the first two nights she was getting out and crying but we took her back and explained we would be back to check her and give her a kiss which we did even when she wasn’t crying. After a few days she settled more quickly and started sleeping until 6-6:30 again as she wasn’t so overtired.

@violetcuriosity thank you, I hadn’t thought to do that with ChatGPT!! At this point did you cut naps? I just feel so clueless and he’s barley keeping his eyes open around lunchtime but then so unsettled at night

Hello long is he napping for? Cut down or cancel the nap and it will likely make a huge difference.

@Beautifulscribbles he’s doing about an hour. Before this all started he did 2 so I’ve cut it by half

Only one suggestion OP, do you have a blackout blind? I mean a proper one that actually makes the room so dark that you can't see your hand in front of you?

Early risers often wake with the light.

If you don't have one already, I recommend the suction ones that stick to the window, and then tape it down at the edges.

@Beachbooks yes he did go back to naps and napped until he was 3 once we got him back on a routine. We just had to get him out of the routine of waking up first and making him so shattered that once he fell asleep he stayed asleep for a prolonged period. Once we’d stopped the 4.30 wake ups we sorted out naps routine and bedtime routine too but we couldn’t do anything until breaking those 4.30 wake ups. Id say give yourself 2 weeks that you’re going to do it for and have no expectations that it will stop before the 2 weeks. He’s still an early riser now, but 6am rather than 4-4.30! Good luck! Xxx

This sounds similar to my 2.5 year old. Up until a few weeks ago she’d only fall asleep on us, get transferred to her bed once asleep (would usually take 60-90 mins) and be up in the night and in bed with me every.single.night. I was getting about 5 hours of sleep a night and I was breaking point.

We did some gentle sleep training, left the room, kept putting her back in bed when she got up and after 5 nights she went to sleep independently and now usually gets 12 hours through the night, so absolutely worth it. She’s also dropped her nap at nursery but usually has one at the weekend. It feels really cruel at the time when they’re crying in bed but I have zero regrets, I’m a better parent as I’m getting more sleep and her tantrums on the whole have improved.

No she won’t squash him but will probably end up teetering on the edge of the mattress with his foot up her nose. Toddler co sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

This. We briefly allowed our daughter in our bed and she just starfished, kicked us, took all the space. Its a big bed! She seemed determined to push us wherever we laid.

I’d either get into bed with him or take him into my bed.

I could not be sleeping in a floor.

Can you replace his toddler bed with a small double?

Both of mine were terrible light sleepers.
Co sleeping was the answer for us.

Take him in your bed, you will both get a good night's sleep. It's natural little ones want their mums near by.

I think it coincided with her refusing to nap anymore. I would probably do a 20 min nap and then a 5:45pm bedtime tonight…? Honestly put it all into chat gpt and it’ll give you a really good schedule and also be really kind and tell you how well you’re doing 😂🥺

Totally agree with this - we have 8yo DS and despite being absolutely fine sleeping alone for years it only takes one night to set up an
expectation. My DH slept in his room one night as I had a horrible bug, then he wanted it every night…. Friend stayed for a sleepover and needed the light on, now DS wants the light on every night plus door open which disturbs other DS who also wants door open but can’t sleep with light coming in… I feel that for everyone’s sake sticking firmly (but in a kind and loving way) to an established routine that works for the whole family is the only way to go. Everyone in the family needs to sleep to make life manageable!

While every child is different, the average range for 1-2 years is 11-14 hours in 24 hours. It is also normal for sleep needs to drop gradually/over time. My older one was doing 12.5 hours from 9 months, and he’s now 2.5 years. We have capped his nap at an hour, and he does around 10 hours overnight, but we have late bedtime (9.30-10pm). We know we need to cap his nap further if we want be being bedtime forward, but not quite ready to do it lol. It doesn’t sound ‘normal’ to drop so much - how is he coping with less sleep? Is he tired? Happy? Grissly?