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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wear black to a funeral requesting bright colours?

51 replies

Funeralattirepanic · 22/07/2026 20:37

I have a funeral to attend with two days notice and on the online invite it says it was the deceased’s wishes for everyone to wear bright colours.

My problem is I am currently pregnant and I think my only feasible option is a black dress. The dress fits me, I’m comfortable in it and it’s smart. My other options are a brightly coloured sun dress which is casual (which might not matter too much) but does expose more chest and back than I feel is appropriate at a funeral. I think would be quite self-conscious in it. Bar that I have maternity jeans and a brightly coloured tshirt but it’s a plain cotton tshirt- very very casual outfit and again I think I would feel a little self-conscious at how underdressed I am. These are literally the only maternity clothing options I have. I tried to raid my mum’s wardrobe tonight as she wears a lot of bright colours but everything swamped me as she’s a much bigger than I am.

So IMO the black dress is my best option but my question is, if it were your relative would you be offended if someone showed up in black? I could wear a pair of brightly coloured shoes but don’t have any scarfs/accessories that are bright. None of my options are great but is the dress the best of a bad bunch?

Would I be unreasonable to wear black?

OP posts:
Fairy40 · 23/07/2026 13:05

I think most men do own dark coloured suits but could always be worn with a brightly coloured shirt or tie just as women can accessorise an outfit with brightly coloured accessorise like jewlery , scarf, handbag , shawl ....
In this situation I would definitely try and find some way of bringing in an element of colour as it is the wish of the poor child's mother.
Gid bless her 🙏

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