AIBU to wear black to a funeral requesting bright colours?

[Funeralattirepanic]

I have a funeral to attend with two days notice and on the online invite it says it was the deceased’s wishes for everyone to wear bright colours.

My problem is I am currently pregnant and I think my only feasible option is a black dress. The dress fits me, I’m comfortable in it and it’s smart. My other options are a brightly coloured sun dress which is casual (which might not matter too much) but does expose more chest and back than I feel is appropriate at a funeral. I think would be quite self-conscious in it. Bar that I have maternity jeans and a brightly coloured tshirt but it’s a plain cotton tshirt- very very casual outfit and again I think I would feel a little self-conscious at how underdressed I am. These are literally the only maternity clothing options I have. I tried to raid my mum’s wardrobe tonight as she wears a lot of bright colours but everything swamped me as she’s a much bigger than I am.

So IMO the black dress is my best option but my question is, if it were your relative would you be offended if someone showed up in black? I could wear a pair of brightly coloured shoes but don’t have any scarfs/accessories that are bright. None of my options are great but is the dress the best of a bad bunch?

Would I be unreasonable to wear black?

Could you wear the black dress and add some colourful accessories

Yes Hobnob’s idea- maybe a bright cardigan?

This. I wouldn't be offended. Particularly not at a pregnant woman! But if you're concerned.

(Sorry Hobnob, am talking like I know you there!!)

That's fine 🤣

Wear the black dress, but with a colourful scarl, shawl or hat (or all three )?

I think it will be fine, but I would try to borrow a bright scarf to go with it. Maybe a bright pink or red lightweight scarf?

black dress with a big colourful handbag or some sort of accessory. Borrow one if you don’t have one.

What the others said🙏

Do you have e bright shoes handbag pashmina hair accessories etc etc

Personally I'd wear the jeans and t shirt as I feel like this is in keeping with the intended spirit of the event. If they've asked for colour then they very likely are not in any fixated on formality

Could you put a vest top under the bright sun dress if you are worried about too much chest?

Thanks all for the quick responses. Accessories wise I really only have the bright shoes and then it will be gold or silver jewellery, when people talk about a scarf what kind of thing do you mean- like a silk scarf? How would you wear it with a dress, hanging loose or draped over shoulders? May be able to borrow something like that from my mum.

If it ends up just being the black dress and bright pink shoes is that still better than the other options do you think?

I did wonder this. If bright colour is requested are they doing so in the knowledge that it will be more casual and maybe jeans and a tshirt will actually be fine?

I think they want you to look like you are celebrating life rather than mourning death, so if you can add a few bright touches e.g bag/scarf/necklace/earrings/shoes your black dress will be ok.
I went to a funeral once where the request was the same, quite a lot of people came in dark colours, just not in completely black.
added: I wouldn’t do jeans and a t-shirt, imo it wouldn’t be appropriate unless you came from work in your work clothes.

I'd wear the dress with a coloured bandanna or silk scarf around your neck. Like this.

https://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com/basics-black-cotton-midi-dress-with-floral-scarf/

I’d wear the black dress, with maybe a small touch of colour, jewellery or a scarf.
The one time that I attended a funeral with requested bright colours the congregation was 50/50 all black or some/all bright colours.

Colourful earrings or beads maybe?

My mum requested bright colours and no black.

I wore jeans and a colourful t shirt.
It was definitely acceptable to wear casual in those circumstances.

As you are pregnant, I think you can get away with the black dress with some bright accessories.
Maybe see if you have another friend who is pregnant who has a dress you could borrow.
Sorry but jeans and t-shirt are just too casual.
I felt odd going to a funeral recently in bright colours but there were a mixture of tones, and it worked.

I think the scarf would be fine, but as an alternative could you layer the revealing bright sundress with a cardi or a top underneath?

I'd go black dress, bright shoes and then maybe see if you could borrow a bright scarf/wrap/cardigan.

I would say these options - I don’t think gold or silver jewellery would do much to help. A scarf around shoulders maybe pinned with a brooch or the colourful dress with a vest or jacket would be better.

Do you not have a brightly coloured jacket or cardigan you can wear over the black?

Get in the garden or buy a bunch of flowers and wear / hold a bright flower / bunch - sorry for your loss