AIBU to wear black to a funeral requesting bright colours?

[Funeralattirepanic]

I have a funeral to attend with two days notice and on the online invite it says it was the deceased’s wishes for everyone to wear bright colours.

My problem is I am currently pregnant and I think my only feasible option is a black dress. The dress fits me, I’m comfortable in it and it’s smart. My other options are a brightly coloured sun dress which is casual (which might not matter too much) but does expose more chest and back than I feel is appropriate at a funeral. I think would be quite self-conscious in it. Bar that I have maternity jeans and a brightly coloured tshirt but it’s a plain cotton tshirt- very very casual outfit and again I think I would feel a little self-conscious at how underdressed I am. These are literally the only maternity clothing options I have. I tried to raid my mum’s wardrobe tonight as she wears a lot of bright colours but everything swamped me as she’s a much bigger than I am.

So IMO the black dress is my best option but my question is, if it were your relative would you be offended if someone showed up in black? I could wear a pair of brightly coloured shoes but don’t have any scarfs/accessories that are bright. None of my options are great but is the dress the best of a bad bunch?

Would I be unreasonable to wear black?

I would chuck a bright pashmina or something over it, but imo this is one of those events where pregnancy trumps preferences.

If it makes you feel better you can say to the family "sorry for the black, but its all I have that fits me!" and unless they are total arseholes, they will be fine with it.

Thanks everyone. Gone with the majority and I’ve just spoken to my sister and she has a lovely bright orange and pink scarf I can borrow. I’ll be able to wear that with the black dress and my bright pink shoes and I’m hoping that will be okay. I think the scarf is bright enough that the eye will be drawn there and it is very obvious that I’m pregnant so I’m sure like PP have said it’ll be obvious that my normal clothes don’t fit. Thank you all for your help.

Thqt sounds perfect!

Go to Tesco for a summer dress or Primark.

Perfect!

I have had this issue a few times as almost all of my clothes are black, personal choice. So a "bright colours by request" funeral would have me in black jeans with a bright red sci-fi tshirt as that is the brightest thing I own!

I have always ended up raiding my sisters wardrobe for jackets or scarves!

Your not being unreasonable , maybe you could wear some brightly coloured jewelry or a light summer scarf or maybe a pair or brightly coloured shoes with your dress ? X

You could get a bright scarf from.a charity shop. I had to wear black with a splash of colour to a choir performance. The charity provided the colour

I think it is not right to tell anyone what colour to wear.

Currently pregnant and just went to a bright coloured funeral. Most women in colour were in summer dresses. I would say more the style of an evening meal on holiday than day wear but both were fine. There was also a mix of people in black/dark clothing as well. There were also people more casually dressed but they were in the minority

To a wedding? Its not ok and naff. To a funeral? I think its ok. I went to the funeral of an old friends DD. She was only 12 and passed because of a long illness, a particular colour was requested as it was her favourite colour. I look dreadful in that colour but I wore it, as did everyone else.

I'm also going to a funeral in a couple of days and only heard today it's bright colours. I'm not changing what I'm going to wear which is a midi dress in quite sober colours. I don't think people really care that much and I never wear bright colours anyway. It's going to be too hot for a scarf. If my dress wasn't patterned I might have got a bright brooch to wear. I think black dress and colourful shoes would be fine OP. If your Mum has a bright pashmina you could borrow then maybe you could carry that?

Wear black and add a coloured scarf

Do you have a brightly coloured overshirt you could put over the black dress?

I’d nip out and buy a bright shawl, scarf or cardigan.

I would buy a brightly coloured scarf or wrap and shoes if possible.

Your black dress with brightly coloured accessories will be perfect.

Wear the dress. Bright shoes if you have them and a bright brooch or scarf. You can get a scarf in a charity shop.

I would have too worn the colour in that situation.
But I don’t think the request is right in the first place.
Mum may have decided on behalf of her daughter or suggested to her daughter. Unlikely daughter thought of it herself.
So I would have worn but the request I would find wrong. The focus on a colour scheme would actually upset me.

I went to one that requested bright colours with black trousers and a pink and white top.

I'm always a bit puzzled by this request with regards to men attending a funeral. Most men own a dark coloured suit, navy, black or dark grey but how many men would have red or pink, green or bright blue etc. trousers or a suit?

I've never seen a man at a funeral yet wearing anything bright, it's always dark and more often than not, a suit.

Sorry for your loss op.

Could you wear the bright summer dress but get a pashmina to cover your chest/ back and pin it in place to make like a wrap? Would your mum have anything like that?

I think the alternative is the black dress but with lots of colourful accessories and cardigan etc.

This sounds like it fits the brief perfectly.

Not really about your feelings though is it, I would say the mum’s feelings about how her child’s funeral represents and honours her child is pretty valid.

My husband’s aunt requested we all wear pink for her husband’s funeral as it was his favourite colour. Most of the men were in pink shirts and ties and took their (any colour) suit jackets off for the service.

Very true. I was expressing my view. That was all.
I said I would wear the colours.
I still would be upset at the focus on a colour scheme. And the request to wear it.

The t shirt over the dress so looks like black skirt and colourful top