Is my ex being an entitled cock lodger ?

[Bingobango86]

Ex dp and i have decided to go our separate ways due to him being unable to stop bringing up issues we have had in the past and i have come to the realisation i do not need to be spoken to like this , we have 3 dc together and ex dp is also disabled for context, we currently private rent and exdp solution is to move into my dining room and has a grand plan of turning it into his bedroom complete with lots of luxuries- which he has taken great delight in sending me - AIBU to want him to f**k off?

Genuinely stop paying or doing. Anything for him.

Things like If you pay for the wifi cut his access off till he pays his share of it. Or just cancel it and hot spot off your mobile if you have a good package.

While everything is nice and comfy for him he won’t make moves to leave or to pay his way.

Ask the landlord if you would be able to serve notice on the joint tenancy and take it over as a single tenancy for you and the children.

In view of the fact that you are separating he needs to be made aware that you will not be supporting him and he needs to apply for benefits as appropriate. He cannot realistically expect that you will continue to support him and that PIP on its own will be insufficient for him so he needs to exercise his own independence going forward.
Separate your finances so he can't spend your income and let your landlord know that you are separating and will be looking for alternative accommodation - he may have other properties you can rent. Then you can save for a deposit. If you are both on the rent book then ensure that he pays his half towards to the rent/bills.
If he refuses then allocate proportionally i.e he pays gas you pay electric etc - I wouldn't expect him to pay anything towards your children or help with school runs etc. until you are actually separated and can then go 50/50
As it stands him turning the dining room into his domain doesn't actually separate you from him and you are still paying the lions' share of the bills and nothing essentially changes. For your sake - the split needs to happen - physically, financially the whole thing. Good luck

Generally a bloke who feels that providing you with access to his cock is enough to get him a free ride in life and that the woman should pay for everything and do all the housework.

In this case, the OPs ex will no longer even be providing cock one presumes.

The offer of that still stands apparently but I genuinely couldn't think of anything worse at the moment 🙈

I know you said you don't have money for a deposit, beg, borrow it!! 2-3 months of unrest and scrimping, talk with housing anything but get out now, as every reason why you can't move now will still be there 6 months time.....
You will save money pretty quickly and emotionally you will be in a better place. Get your your house sorted and don't let him in for his time with kids, he's making it very clear your role is to support him through this, don't

If you're paying for everything, just chuck him out and change the locks - he'll need whatever money he has to keep a roof over his head, so he won't be able to afford a lawyer. Would you be able to help him out with a deposit on a new place or something - the condition being that he gives up all rights to this one? Seems like a reasonable price for having this over with - better value for money than refurbing your dining room for him to squat in, anyway.

Do they have the money to borrow for a deposit?

You need to start only paying for things for you and your children. Nothing for him. So no food, no toiletries, no nothing. You also need to do nothing which is just for him. No cooking meals, no laundry. This is really important because if you were married, you’d have to demonstrate that you weren’t still living as a couple in order to get divorced. Apply the same rules. Stop being a couple.
And you need to ask him for his percentage of all of the bills. He’s effectively saying he wants to be housemates. So he has to pay half. Otherwise, I’m afraid it might be simplest to give notice on the tenancy and you and your children move somewhere else.

Is the property adapted for his disabilities?

Well, now you are house mates, not partners, so he’ll be paying 50/50, won’t he? Like any other house mate would be expected to do. Disabled or not, life is not free. Sounds like high time he started to pay his own way.

Well hed better start looking at other ways of financing his life.

Saying that as a disabled person, benefits for disability are not easy to get and more importantly take time.
If he had been working before, he also has lost the possibility for ESA.

Hes going to have to put his ducks in a row pretty sharp.

Look for a new rental for yourself and the kids and get yourself removed from the tenancy of the house you are in. Then take the kids and move and leave him to it.