To let dd15 simply read all summer

[OhLaDiDaDiDa]

Aibu to be okay with dd15’s plan to spend her entire summer reading?

She has GCSEs next year, and I strongly suspect she won’t follow up her plan of studying a few hours very day this summer.

She gets good grades and is a nice girl.

She updated her TBR (“to be read”) list of 100 books and that’s her plan! Some of them are non fiction and the fiction is a lot of “good quality” stuff (not junky AI romantasies!)

Why is this a dilemma for you? She wants to read as opposed to doing what? Were you thinking she should be getting a job or doing revision studying or what? And do you really think she's going to be filling up every day 24 hours nonstop with reading? If you wanted her to be doing things to help out around the house, why not get her an Audible subscription and let her listen on her phone while she does chores? I think her idea (and the choice of books) sounds quite laudable.

I’m going to assume this is a reverse / humble brag. She sounds like a dream.

I bet you wouldn’t blink twice if she wanted to play tennis or something all summer ?! Why is reading not an acceptable activity? Yes it’s a solitary one but there’s not much one can do about that! No person ever suffered from reading too much and too widely.

I think even if it was romantasies it would be fine. Her GCSEs are a year away. Sure, it's not a bad idea to set aside an hour here or there so she can keep her hand in for next year but who studies for hours a day a year out?

She doesn’t necessarily need company. Lots of people don’t.

Also, reading doesn’t prohibit her from going outdoors or taking a walk.

At 15 I'd say she's grand with most stuff.

I loved reading at that age.

JD say maybe she would like some social time but is isolated by the friends situation you mention. My kids are younger but they are signed up to tennis and gymnastics still over the summer and they like days of where we take friends along. Can you try to do a once weekly trip and arrange some socialising if necessary?

Of course, it's her downtime. Let her relax. I sometimes read at least a book a day at her age. Good for her. And good for her if she wants to bad quality books. My daughter read all the time at her age and she still treats now, but a lot less. Encourage it.

Leave her be.

Make suggestions, but don't dismiss her choices.

Helicopter /micromanaging parenting is awful - not suggesting you are !

I don’t think that reading all day everyday with no social interaction besides immediate family is healthy and I wouldn’t be encouraging my child to do this personally.

I do think it’s a form of escapism and avoiding some of the harder parts of life.

But you can fall into a trap of just being so used to be being by yourself and enjoying your own company that you end up hindering your ability to create new friendships and start relationships in the future etc. for example at university or moving to a new city.

I would be encouraging her to reach out to people she knows that are around that might be up for meeting up with her to do something. Or joining a local yoga class / see if there are any meet up groups for young people.

Not everyday ofc course, but sending a few risky texts asking to hang out will hopefully teach her

1. rejection is okay, the world won’t implode.
2. putting yourself out there can sometimes lead to fun day out and new connections.

My personal take!

I’d be happy enough with this provided she did a bit of exercise most days. Is there something you can do with her? I took mine swimming, sent her out on a walk, or went for a bike ride into town for a coffee, when most of her friends were away at the same time one summer…or we went for the odd picnic or movie.

My DD1 volunteered at the local library to help with their summer reading challenge for kids when she was 15 - got a free DVD loan for doing so which she was thrilled with (this was some time ago……!). Maybe that would appeal to your DD, OP? Mine was a bit surprised to find that she was very popular with the visiting kids as she wasn’t one of the “in crowd” at school. It gave her confidence a bit of a boost (and also gave her a chance to change her own library books while there, so a definite winner!)

I would do anything to go back to the Teenage summer spent reading Jilly Cooper!!

she sounds like she is living the dream.

my 16yr old DS will spend the whole summer fraying my nerves by jumping into the sea/rivers off rocks and vanishing with his friends in a tent! Swap??

It’s a bit sad that she doesn’t have any friends to hang out with. 6 weeks is a long time. Are you going on holiday at all, meeting up with family, cousins? Do you have any days out planned with her?

This. There has to be a balance. I would not allow her to squirrel herself away for 6 weeks and not interact with anyone.
And yes, exercise is very important.

It's a balance isn't it?

If she doesn't have plans with friends, no summer job, (you can babysit at 15...), what about sports clubs? some hobby? And holidays / day trip with you?

Spending most of the summer reading is amazing.
Spending the entire summer doing nothing BUT read is pretty miserable, that's what you do when you are recovering from injury or illness.

They only have a short break, most kids only have 6 weeks, but that's still time to explore another country, or travel a bit, do a hobby you haven't got time for during the year, spend a couple of weeks in a family practicing a language.

Anything really, but "something"
She will never get that summer back.

That would’ve been me at her age - always reading. I was lucky enough to have a best friend with a tennis court and a swimming pool so the two of us would either be reading, playing tennis or swimming.

Sounds wonderful. I did that the summer I was 15-16 as I'd a broken foot which wouldn't heal. It was great! My reading material wasn't anything special either!

Could you get into the habit of going for a walk with her each day, to get her some exercise? Any maybe encourage her to see friends a couple of times a week? Other than that it sounds blissful!

Having just read another thread where teens have set fire to a train station, I cant understand why this is a dilemma for you. I’d much rather be visiting the library and book shop than my child causing problems with anti social behaviour (I do appreciate they are on completely opposite ends of a wide spectrum, but really, a summer reading is surely quite a good way to spend time, I would assume she isn’t reading for 24 hours a day and you will be encouraging a walk/cooking/other self care activities too?

I bet if anyone was playing tennis 10 hours a day every day for the entire holiday, the parents WOULD do more than blink

There's nothing wrong with reading, but you can still have a life.

I missed the bit where OP says it will be 10 hours a day every day?

I'd be happy with that. Dd1 (15) is looking forward to doing all the puzzles in the house, and reading.

Summer holidays can be very long. My own DC don't see much of their friends at all since starting high school. Dd1 has struggled with friend groups in high school meets up with friends once or twice over the holidays normally. Dd2s (13) friends never do anything - she has tried numerous times to organise something but they are either on holiday, at holiday clubs or not allowed to meet up for some reason. Both DC do sports clubs dd1 3-4, times a week and Dd2 twice a week.

They meet with their cousins who live in the next town over who are a bit older but experience the same thing.

Dd2 is wanting to watch TV and go on her phone/switch for the majority of the holidays. I will be encouraging her to do some actual reading or other screen free activities.

She needs at least an hour a day outside and an hour a day studying.

My best summers as a kid were the ones spent reading books and eating ice creams in a cool tent.

if reading is the ONLY activity of the holiday.. I just guessed?

What else is she doing? Because that's the question.

Teen spending MOST of the holiday reading (around meeting with friends, or on holiday on the beach, around the pool etc..) is a non issue? Reading by itself is normal, or should be.