To let dd15 simply read all summer

[OhLaDiDaDiDa]

Aibu to be okay with dd15’s plan to spend her entire summer reading?

She has GCSEs next year, and I strongly suspect she won’t follow up her plan of studying a few hours very day this summer.

She gets good grades and is a nice girl.

She updated her TBR (“to be read”) list of 100 books and that’s her plan! Some of them are non fiction and the fiction is a lot of “good quality” stuff (not junky AI romantasies!)

Leave her be! I used to love summer holidays, reading all day, working weekends and then more reading. It was awesome!

Of course.reading is good for you
Rewards of reading: Toward the development of possible selves and identities - PMC https://share.google/UQpo06u2GsK2v74RI

And if she decides to read 10 MillsAndBoon and five danielle steel that s ok too. She gains insight into formulaic story narrative and plot. And it might play into literary critical analysis if she goes on to study literature or similar.

Oh how I miss the days in the summer holidays getting through as many books as I could. I mixed it up with sports and friends but honestly- sounds like a dream now (as a parent who has to sacrifice sleep to read of an evening thanks to life/work 😅)

Let her be, offer some activities and days out or mornings / afternoons out but let her have a summer to chill and relax before she starts year 11!

Good for her! That sounds an excellent use of time.

Is she contributing towards running the household a bit as well?

Yes YABU, she should spend it on TikTok like normal teens.

I was like this back when it was more likely to be viewed as worrying (Before screens and social media were quite so distracting). I did struggle socially more than it sounds like your daughter does - it also sounds like she has good friends but is maybe happy in her own company/has a lower social drive than you?

One thing I found very frustrating at this time was my dad wasn't happy with how I or my siblings spent our time, even though we were all different - one brother was very social and 'treated the house like a hotel', another spent too much time playing computer games (through which he was normally socialising with friends from school) whereas I spent too much time in front of a book and therefore would never have friends. So essentially he had the same concern as you about balance, but it felt to me like he just couldn't be pleased no matter what we did.

I think at this time of life you have very little freedom to pursue what you enjoy and it's unlikely to do her any harm. I also feel that reading taught me a huge amount about understanding other people, especially books that showed the same situation from different points of view, and this has helped me in adult life. Plus as adults we rarely have the luxury to devote weeks at a time to something we really love, so I think its great to let her have it now before GCSEs, I can't see why she would need to be studying for hours every day already (and I went to a strict grammar school with high workload/pressure). Reading widely will also develop her writing skills and vocabulary which I think will make her stand out in the workplace in a few years, judging by how things are going with AI.

I personally was much more social once I went to university and spent a lot of time around people with shared interests (I studied English Literature and Creative Writing). That fell away a bit as I struggled with juggling adult responsibilities eg work and living independently because of undiagnosed ADHD, but it wasn't ever the reading that was the problem, it was a really valuable coping mechanism for me. And I also think her having a good core sense of self away from what other people are doing is very healthy.

One person's obsession is another person's passion. I really miss being able to lose myself in a story, I find it much harder to invest the time in fiction now that I know more about the world. I'm not sure I'd even worry that much about the quality/balance of what she's reading, adults have always been baffled by teenage tastes and I don't think you need to police her like others have suggested. I don't see what would be wrong with her reading romance if that's what she enjoys, it often gets dumped on as a genre because of misogyny.

Me too - and now I'm retired, I can spend summer like that again!

OP, you say that you're worried it's a bit "obsessive". It might be, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that; I have spent my whole life obsessed with books.

It sounds as if she is reading across a wide range, including non-fiction. That will be great for her vocabulary, critical thinking, imagination, emotional intelligence and general knowledge.

She is highly unlikely to be able to have the time for this in the days ahead: let her make the most of it while she can.

I don't see a problem with this? As long as she rests her eyes. I used to bike each week to the library and get twelve books out each week. If she is happy why not? She won't have the time when she is older anyway.

It is part of raising a fully functioning adult that they are given responsibility for household tasks.
Children who do absolutely no housework, whose parents do it all for them, get a big shock when they move out.

I don't see this as an issue on its own.

Some opportunities to check she's ok:
I'd check on the GCSE reading list and make sure she's covered those books, poems etc.
I'd encourage an hour's walk every day. I'd encourage her to see/call her friend who is ill a couple of times a week and then read outside with suncream.
Regular routine to get up, washed and dressed and all meals with the family

It's her summer to enjoy.

I wouldn’t discourage her as this is just her personality and that’s ok.

But she’ll have 16 hours a day, every day and so she has more than enough time to read all of her books and do other things too.

Does she want friends or is she happy alone?

Are there any authors or books that she particularly likes that you could visit where the story is set etc just to get her to do something else she might find interesting.

Could she join a book club or volunteer in the library.

I would feel sad for my DC but some people are introverts and although we should encourage them to experience different things, we shouldn’t push what we think is ‘normal’ on them.

I think that’s amazing! I really admire her and am envious of her ability to switch off and focus on a book.
She’ll presumably see a few friends and get some fresh air in between so I think it’s brilliant.

i think around that age i was reading different movie scripts that people uploaded to the net.

overall read on, in the 18th century reading novels was considered omg at the time because of the subjects in the novels etc

Nice Post.

I would feel sad
Why on earth would you feel sad? She's going to spend the summer doing what she loves!

Some people are introverts
Or maybe some people just love reading. OP says her daughter has plenty of friends, they're just not all going to be around much in the summer.

I’d let her do this but would encourage her to go out with a friend(s) say maybe once a week. And a walk in the park.

Maybe give her some chores during the day.
get some food shopping, post something for you, collect/drop off dry cleaning, charity shop drop off. Is there anything she needs for her new school year? Encourage her to go and look for this. Come with her if needed re latter.

That made me laugh 😆 makes her sound like a dog

Oh god, don't do this. How awful.

Let her read and enjoy what she's reading, fgs.

Sounds great. I was a voracious reader as a youngster and I always have something on my kindle that I am currently reading.
If she gets bored she can always call up her friends to see what they are doing

'An hour a day studying' in the summer holidays... how miserably bleak.

Good grief, just leave her alone. You don't need to micromanage a 15-year-old's time. She's not 5.

I recommend Flowers in the Attic, Carrie and Forever as the ultimate teenage summer reads

She could be reading in the garden.