AIBU to let my nearly 13 year old cook family meals?

[Madhouse02]

DD nearly 13 is a genuinely a great cook. I should add incase you claim I’m gloating that she is not your high flying academic child and although is well behaved at school and works hard she academically struggles in some areas and she is also not a talented dancer / gymnast or anything like that. She struggled much of her younger years and has some additional needs.
a few years ago she took up baking and then cooking and she really enjoys it and is a far better cook than me 😂
she can be your usual sluggish slow to move teenager and getting her to do chores was often like asking her to sell her soul.
she now takes control of all dinners in the house and cooked breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
there is currently 5 kids in the house although usually 4.
she does the online food shop as she knows what she needs ingredient wise etc
apart from her own bedroom and taking her own clothes down to laundry she does no other chores.
she does help out with the animals.
she gets 100.00 allowance a month.
she is free to do what she pleases on weekends and holidays - goes out with friends / family trips and she 100 percent does not miss out on anything she is extremely lucky in some ways.
she has improved with her cooking and tries new receipts for us and although I did supervise for a long time now she is pretty much on her own.
last Sunday my brother and sister in law was over for dinner which daughter prepared and they were shocked that I had her cooking everyone dinner after daughter explained she is in charge of food 😂 I suppose it didn’t sound great when she said it like that. After we explained they still couldn’t get there head around that I never cook for the kids and it’s my daughter but I see it has a positive thing for her.
she is getting better and mastering the skill. She is not in the kitchen 24/7 and has very little other expectations.
she never ever looks after her siblings and only if she wishes to for extra money would she be told she has to.
is this not acceptable for a nearly 13 year old ?

Sounds great, she will be light years ahead of her peers when she moves out/goes to university. Why would you not nurture her talent and interests and make life easier for the family all at the same time? Send her round here!

There's nothing wrong with a dc cooking meals for their family sometimes.

It sounds a bit much to expect a child to hold responsibility for a major part of family life. She's too young for that imo.

It sounds as though she wants to do it though. Why would you stop her doing something she enjoys

Once a week, possibly twice.

Are you going to send her younger brother up the chimney?

If she enjoys it and is happy doing it then 100%.

I would be making sure I check in with her regularly though to make sure that doesn't change and I would make sure she knows 100% that she can stop anytime she wants.

It is a lot of responsibility for a fairly young child.

Agree with this.

I guess I would hate for her to ever come home from school, after a tough day and feel like she has to do it.

I love to cook, but sometimes I get home and think "Oh, Eff it. Let's get a take away"

Also, she is still doing her own clothes? Does that mean she is doing her own washing? Normally that'd be fine, but in your set up she is having a lot of responsibility of adult everyday life.

shes not shy to tell me when she begrudges me asking her to do something - you should see the debates about maths revision 😂

I don’t see the issue if she enjoys it. Both of mine (10 and 13) can cook lots of dishes and they do every so often.

No she doesn’t do her own washing.
she just has to bring her laundry basket down
and take it back up with I refill.
then keeps her room tidy but I still do her bedding changes etc

No 😂he does do the washing up though

Why not? If your kids was desperately unhappy/you were forcing just one kid to do it, that would be wrong. But it's a lot easier than newspaper rounds.

Fine to let her cook family meals.

a bit much that she’s doing all dinners and two breakfasts.

i got mine to take turns and bigged it up as getting ready for adult life

It's great that your daughter enjoys cooking. My son too loves cooking and has done since he started secondary school. He often cooked our tea. We encouraged him as we would with any interest and also because I didn't want him living on pizza when he went to university! My daughter has zero interest in cooking and can just about make beans on toast.

What are you teaching all the children about pink and blue jobs? Would school be going better if instead of 30-60 mins of cooking every night that time was spent on homework?

fine to do 1-2 nights each week, but this is too much

I think you never cooking is a bit much. Yes she enjoys it, and may be a really good cook but cooking for everyone every night is a lot. I’d negotiate you taking a turn so she knows it not all on her. I’d also be doing the shopping. Fine for her to create an online shopping list, but I’d be taking responsibility for ordering breakfast foods, toiletries, cleaning stuff because it’s not her job to balance the budget.

Both my teens cook at points in the week, and add what they need to the shopping list but I’m in charge of food and budgeting.

She doesn’t do the cleaning shop etc

she just buys her ingredients for recipes she has put together because she got annoyed at me if I got it wrong.

i do all other shopping for school lunches, household supplies, I do all other housework apart from her brother who does help with the washing up. I change her beddings, wash her clothes, drive her around everywhere and I sit down with her to help with her homework because she needs help with it.

that was just for clarification.

in the house she cooks - which she enjoys and keeps her room tidy which includes bringing her laundry basket down twice a week.
does compulsory homework.

What do you mean what am I teaching them about pink and blue jobs ?
I don’t really understand the link between her liking to cook and that.
her favourite chefs are all men

One of mine cooks two meals a week (selects ingredients/adds them to the list). He’d do all of the days a week if he was allowed. It would be too expensive as he likes to eat ‘better’ than I do though! So I think, if she’s happy, amazing!!

This is a problem 😂 the children have never had better diets !

At 13 I was cooking family meals to have on the table once my mum was home from work Monday to Friday. It was so that we didn't need to wait until 7pm to eat really but glad to say now I'm a dab hand in the kitchen. Honestly leave her be if she is enjoying it then she's fine really. If it seems like she is neglecting school work or social opportunities then dial it back for her.

Honestly, it sounds great. She could build a career out of cooking and will have a flying start.

Can I come round to yours for dinner? 😋

That was me as a child. My mother was an awful cook and I loved it and still do. I would absolutely let her at it as long as she is happy doing it. I only wish one of mine had an interest in cooking. My ears bleed at the question “what’s for dinner?”

yes I agree - at the moment that’s is not a problem. She has been out every day this week so far including 2 theme parks and a west end show. She does cook Fridays as we always go out for dinner or have movie night / take out.
she will often cook a few days meals at once.
her school work is erm more of a challenge but she does do it with some pestering.

Sounds great. Our sons have always loved cooking and were cooking meals independently at this age.