To ask why people think it’s okay to abuse NHS staff?

[notafanofthisanymore]

I’m NHS admin. I just got a call through to me and I was the wrong person to help, but as it was a simple query (think where to go as opposed to anything medical), I tried to help the patient.

I understand that having health issues is stressful. But I’ve just been called a useless thick bitch and told that my job is the reason the NHS is sinking, because I told this patient something they didn’t like. I was then told that if this patient died on the way to their appointment it would be blood on my hands, and I should hope they don’t.

I’m just baffled. I was polite, answered this person’s question and got abused because they didn’t like the answer (having to go somewhere else for something they needed). In what world is this acceptable?

I hear you. Fellow NHS admin here and the amount of abuse is staggering. The amount of patients who want to cancel a hospital appointment last minute and then angry when you won’t just “squeeze them in” to an overbooked clinic. And expect the consultants I work for to be on hand 24 hours a day to answer a query. I’m sick of being open and friendly and helpful to just be abused.

Yes, I politely asked a nurse where I was in the system, next steps etc when I'd been bumped pillar to post for 4h. The automatic reaction up to that point had been to just issue me with a curt instruction, and sometimes no instructions at all - "sending you down to urgent care", and turning away as if I knew where urgent care was.

I agree.

While it is not acceptable to be rude and abusive to staff providing a service, I feel that OP’s defensive replies on this thread speak volumes about the underlying attitude of a lot of NHS staff.

And her misunderstanding of various posts are perhaps key to why the caller lost his cool

I think his language was extremely aggressive but if he hadn’t used that particular offensive phrase, was it perhaps acceptable to convey his frustration using other terminology ? Clearly he was worried about a relative dying and felt he was getting no help at all

I'm so sorry. This simply shouldn't happen. It's the lack of recourse for you that really upsets me on your behalf.

It was in my local paper a few weeks ago that a man passed away in the reception of a&e after being ignored by staff....I can see why his family might have gotten abusive.

Have you just made something up?

The caller was coming for a routine appointment but didn’t know where to go. I explained where to go and the caller then told me “well you have to book a wheelchair for me”. When I explained that wasn’t possible they got abusive, I explained how to get one and they then started to swear down the phone because I’d “told them two different things” - well yes, because you’d not mentioned in the beginning that you needed a wheelchair!

Sorry? I’m going to be defensive when I’m abused for just trying to help someone!

I think just saying that’s not possible is really unhelpful and pretty inflammatory
to somebody with a seriously ill loved one on their hands.

At that point I’d have reassured that if there were mobility needs the hospital would be supportive and get the patient to where he/ she needed to be and if I couldn’t help I’d make sure he was put in touch with somebody who could ( without being put on endless hold with multiple buttons ie I’d transfer them directly).

Not hard and I’m staggered you’ve not had training for this.

Again, they didn’t have a “seriously ill loved one” on their hands.

I explained that while I couldn’t book a wheelchair, this is how they could obtain one. How is than inflammatory? I didn’t just say “can’t do that”, I said “I’m sorry, I’m not able to book one but if you go to X place they can provide one and then show you to Y, which is where your appointment is”.

What more am I meant to do?

I work in an area where I can get a lot of abuse from people, and I agree, it's not acceptable.

However, I understand my job very well and understand that I'm part of a process which can be exceptionally stressful and even traumatic for some people. I can therefore understand that the strain can cause them to act irrationally at times and misdirect their anger, upset and frustration at me.

I have also experienced things where I have been in situations similar to theirs and can understand that their anger can come from a multitude of little things that have built up over a long time, and whilst not life-threatening, the impact is still huge, and as a very resilient and resourceful person, I have been very surprised at how it has impacted me and my behaviour.

A lot of posters on here, whilst accepting that this behaviour is not acceptable, can empathise with the build-up of multiple stressors in life and the straw that breaks the camel's back, which means that despite that behaviour being unacceptable, people are human, emotions can be very powerful, and it can impact them in ways it wouldn't normally.

Sometimes people work in these areas and either can't see this bigger picture, due to not having experienced it or fully understand the impact of multiple stressors in people's lives, and they can take it very personally, like it's an attack on them because they are just involved in that small part of what's going on, when that small part is that final straw of a bigger issue they are facing and could be the bit that finally breaks them.

This view can understandably cause more frustration and upset for the person they are dealing with, where empathy and understanding with the wider issue could minimise the strain and prevent the anger being targeted at that particular worker.

In roles like this, wider training regarding this could be very useful. My organisation gives it, and it has changed worker attitudes massively, and whilst it doesn't stop it, it does assist in minimising it, improving empathy, understanding, communication, staff resilience and public perception. I've even had people come back and apologise and thank me for my understanding and patience with them. Showing wider understanding and communication are key.

Some of its lack of trust. After the Nottingham maternity scandal.people.realise that some people working in the NH S are bad at the blanket job and actively unempafhetic. It' is is v them.

if you h are in pain and you are experiencing sub standard service maybe some of the rudeness is inacceptbale.

I just read your response above mine to another poster, and I can see where their anger came from. I would have approached this differently than you did.

I would not have presumed that they did not have a seriously ill loved one, as I am aware that people have more going on in their lives than what is presented in front of me, and I would have shown some empathy for their situation and tried to try and minimise their frustration.

From how your post is written, you may have dealt with it very simplistically, within strict procedural guidelines based on the little information you had for the appointment they were attending and failed to show any empathy or reassurance. Even without other stressors, the approach you describe you took would make me quietly seethe!

Are you well? Like genuinely, are you okay? I said I’m not able to book a wheelchair (because it is literally impossible, there is no system to book one) and then explained how a wheelchair can be obtained. You’d seethe because you were conveyed information in a clear way?

im going to guess you’re the person who swore down the phone at me! It’s unbelievable

interesting thread. The NHS is really scary. It's like a beautifully painted stage set with nothing behind it.

The way we are going it'll get to a stage where if you are ill you'll just die in misery and/or end up with your body curtailed by it. There's nothing and no one to help you. Just a bunch of doctors who move you from list to list. They'll fix up an obvious broken bone but no capacity for anything else.

Especially old people - my experience so far is the systems don't give a shiny shit about old people. Not even old actually - mildly aged.

The cynic in me wonders if this is deliberate. The social care bill for an ageing population is going to be massive.

Anyway - no it wasnt acceptable for the caller to speak to the OP like that, but people see the NHS and are scared.

It's interesting because I have a friend who works in an admin role with cancer patients on the NHS. She is a person who loves people, is relentlessly positive and really gets how stressful life is for "her" patients . She reports that whilst her colleagues often get abuse, she very rarely does.

Maybe, just maybe, the defensive attitude you're displaying here does come across OP?

Maybe, just maybe, I don’t deserve to be called a “useless thick bitch” because I helped a patient?

There we go. A patient having a stressful time trying to get help from the NHS, which is what you're there for. Helping them shouldn't be something they have to be grateful for. Of course they shouldn't abuse you and we don't know the exact circumstances, but people's experience of the NHS and many of the staff is very frustrating, so you're unfortunately paying for that, for their previous experiences, as well as whatever you did or didn't do.

I agree with you completely

Op, your upset at the abuse yor received, however, the responses you are now giving are starting to push similar boundaries by becoming defensive and nasty.

Im not upset by it at all but maybe you need to think about why your getting this defensive and address it,it may help you understand what makes you tick, if the tone is coming across like this on here, imagine what the patients are picking up from you.

Like I said, people have a lot going on in theor lives, for all I know, you might to and it could be affecting how you perceive things and react to it.

I'm a nurse and we get this on the phone, but our admin support, who field the calls, get it much worse. They don't get paid enough for this shit. We do have the yellow/amber/red card system at our hospital. Red card means you get banned! We are not putting up with it anymore. Funnily enough people are like little lambs when they come back after the ban. So, in a lot of cases, they blimmin well can help it!

Ironically, the OP is becoming stressed and upset and lashing out a bit at other posters.

Yes, quite.

Sorry, you told someone it wasn’t possible to book a wheelchair for them?

I’m not surprised they got abusive.