To ask why people think it’s okay to abuse NHS staff?

[notafanofthisanymore]

I’m NHS admin. I just got a call through to me and I was the wrong person to help, but as it was a simple query (think where to go as opposed to anything medical), I tried to help the patient.

I understand that having health issues is stressful. But I’ve just been called a useless thick bitch and told that my job is the reason the NHS is sinking, because I told this patient something they didn’t like. I was then told that if this patient died on the way to their appointment it would be blood on my hands, and I should hope they don’t.

I’m just baffled. I was polite, answered this person’s question and got abused because they didn’t like the answer (having to go somewhere else for something they needed). In what world is this acceptable?

nhs Doesn’t give you any special status

the general public are like this with anyone customer facing there just rude and entitled

Sorry to hear you have had that experience.

Some people are just horrible, and you are unfortunately just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was chatting to a worker in the supermarket a few weeks ago, and they said they are regularly abused to their face by customers.

It’s extraordinary really. I suspect part of the issue is lack of consequences for doing so - if they suddenly couldn’t use NHS services or were banned from the shop, they’d probably behave themselves.

It isn't acceptable at all. No excuses.

However after spending 4h waiting in A&E for my daughter to be seen, I truly wish we could move away from the "envy of the world" system that's actually pretty shit for many using it. I think most people would rather pay a little more towards an insurance model that still protected the poorest.

I think you’re viewing this the wrong way. People don’t think it’s “ok” as such- when you walk past someone getting arrested telling the police to fuck off im sure your first thought isn’t “why do they think it’s ok to tell the police to fuck off?”

its sadly a small part of a public facing role. In the nhs you’re dealing with people who are frustrated by the bureaucracy and errors, often struggling to navigate a complex and unfamiliar system, and often unwell and stressed to boot.

I think some people are just abusive people, they will be like it to shop workers, other drivers, nhs workers, school staff etc. There are signs everywhere now asking people to be respectful to staff.. its a massive problem

I don’t think stress is ever an excuse. I could’ve easily just transferred them across to a number to be sat in a queue to speak to someone but I did my best to help them and got abused for it. Obviously they think it’s okay, or they wouldn’t do it!

My observation is that for those who can afford it, private healthcare is becoming rapidly more widespread.

So we are already developing a two-tier model.

It’s not really ‘baffling’, people are frustrated and terrified! It’s not an excuse and I’m sorry you’ve encountered abuse. However, I completely understand why people lose control when they’re in fear for their lives or the lives of their loved ones and they’re banging their heads repeatedly against brick walls.

I snapped a little last week when I rang to chase an urgent appointment (brain tumour) and was told that I’d have to wait 15 months. The lady replied not to worry, I would eventually be seen and I snapped “If I’m not dead by then!” and hung up. Yes, I was rude but for the love of God, it’s understandable that everyone has their limits.

This person wasn’t in fear for their life. It’s a routine appointment. It’s baffling to me that people will go out of their way to abuse the people who are just trying to help them!

I felt enormous hate for the staff in the post natal ward when I had my children. I didn’t swear or abuse them but I was snappy and demanding. I was highly stressed and upset and it happened. I don’t think it’s ok, I think it’s human nature to occasionally behave badly due to stress

That’s the public. Entitled rude and disrespectful. Thankfully there are still some polite people in the world.

In that case there’s definitely no excuse! There was a poster on here yesterday whose DH had exploded over poor treatment of their DS, and a safeguarding had been raised against him because of his outburst. Her DH is a doctor himself!

I dont think its stress either, dh and I have been in the most harrowing situation a few years ago - both twin baby loss at birth and Nicu. I'll never forget waiting in my hospital bed for the NICU to ring us after my baby had a lung haemorage. He was 2 days old and we had just lost his brother 2 days earlier. I wanted to rip the phone up and just break into the NICU. We didnt though because they were incredible staff and doing their job at the end of the day.

Some people are abusive, end of. We saw it ourselves from people whose situations were less dire than ours. They were so rude and aggressive to over-worked tired staff

I think the level of entitlement, arrogance and rudeness has increased massively since the pandemic. I’m not sure why. Maybe stress levels are generally higher due to cost of living etc? Whatever the explanation, it’s no excuse.

It won’t make a tiny difference to the public services IME. Ireland has a two tier healthcare system, anyone who can afford health insurance has it as you would be dead before getting an appointment unless it was obviously urgent, the waiting list for a diagnosis is about 3 years.
I don’t have health insurance but always pay for a scan as it’s around €200 euro or the alternative is waiting months, which isn’t bad as scans are outsourced to private providers.
I am waiting years for an ENT appointment.

Some people are just like that.
Other people will be incredibly frustrated and lashing out at an easy target because it takes months and months of pain to get seen by someone and even then it takes more time to get the pain even semi-sorted. It’s worse if you’re a female with gynae issues. It’s not acceptable, but I can see how damaging the NHS system is to people who are already in unbearable pain.
I was in tears during a recent visit to my hospital, literally snot-sobbing, full on crying buckets of tears and not able to control them. I got told by my gynae “I don’t know why you are crying. This is a silly reaction” and my husband tensed up next to me, I felt him wanting to protect me from that asshole of a doctor. I was crying because mentally I am done. I cannot take any more of the pain, the crappy attitude and the “just suck it up” mentality. I was about to end it and I told the gynae that, and he basically laughed at me. The natural reaction in that scenario is anger. Luckily, as a grown up I can quash it, and reported him and his disgusting attitude and have put in an SAR and a legal request. I have done things the “right way” but in that moment, I so so desperately wanted to punch that smile off his stupid face.

because in general people want answers and issues solving yesterday so to speak,

Yep. I wish for the day we move to the European model. The NHS is not fit for purpose and I’m sick of the glazing over it.

i read that one, jesus some people i get frustration but even then etc

Whatever your views on that, why does that give patients an excuse to abuse people who are just trying to do their jobs?

Yes, no one should treat people like this. But honestly dealing with the NHS can be such a frustrating and labyrinthine process that I am surprised we don’t have hospital shootings. Sometimes I expect you (while not the source of someone’s battle to get something simple arranged) are the final straw in a situation that has taken weeks to progress nowhere. DH has a regular appointment every 6-8 weeks which I spent 3 days trying to rearrange last week because of a clash with another appointment. Three days on hold, being passed around departments, being told to send an email to an address that bounces. I had to work in the evenings to make the time up. I held my tongue, but it really shouldn’t be this difficult. If you are also dealing with kids and elderly parents it is more than a fulltime job.

Wow. You’ve just advocated for people to be shot because you didn’t get an answer in time. I did my best to help this person and got abused. That’s not acceptable.

but its still no reason to be a dick to anyone, frustrating yes i get that

That's appalling. Some people are just at the end of their rope with pain and upset and they take it out on the poor person who happens to answer the telephone. I'd say often those that act abusive would probably act really grateful and apologetic once they are feeling better.

I've seen people in hospital flip very easily when they don't feel listened to or they haven't had their pain meds etc. I guess because they're so helpless and often bed bound. They nearly always apologize for their behaviour though. But it happens a lot.
It must be really tough for staff and I admire everyone in the NHS who deals with patients.

Sadly, not all NHS are ministering angels. For whatever reasons some are offhand, abrupt, unwilling, rough or just plain lacking in any degree of people skills. When you're ill it can be hard to deal with.

No excuse for being rude to them but I can understand why it happens.