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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another party etiquette one…sorry!

79 replies

Lilypad789 · 19/07/2026 09:58

Not for social media please.

Interested to hear what others think really.

Child invited over to friend’s house for birthday, not a party as such but 3 friends and the birthday girl. I accepted the invitation over text (almost immediately) the next day another child in the class invited lots of the class to their own party on the same day and the same time (she wouldn’t have knows about the other get together to be fair). Mum of original inviter approached me to ask if my child had been invited to the new party, I replied that they hadn’t. Anyway, she cancelled the little get together and said she’ll rearrange later in the holidays. Her child went to the boy’s party. Two of the three girls (including mine) weren’t invited to the boys party so I thought it was a fairly crappy thing to do really.

My OH says he’s not surprised and it’s standard behaviour. I think it’s teaching your kids that it’s okay to let people down and that it’s mean. My child was disappointed which I can manage and is part of life, all of which I explained to her but I did also say to her that I thought that it was poor on the parents’ part and that I wouldn’t never do that.

What do you think? Mean?

OP posts:
Dontevenlookatme · 21/07/2026 10:35

I think the other mother was probably trying to please everyone, two of the four children had been invited to a proper party and it would have been a shame for them to miss it for a casual play date that she’s promised to rearrange. To be fair she did ask if your DD had been invited to the party so you can see what her thinking was. If your DD had been invited you’d be wrestling with which invitation you should accept. She intended to say you the angst.

I’m with the PP who said don’t overthink it. If you don’t make a big deal of it, your DD won’t either.

GabriellaFaith · 21/07/2026 13:44

If she's rearranging it I think that's okay. If she's cancelled, then no.

eastegg · 21/07/2026 13:50

Moonnstarz · 21/07/2026 08:25

Ok maybe your kids are different. If mine were simply told that friend was going to change the date of their party then they would just say ok and are we able to still go. They wouldn't huff saying they wouldn't go because they would be disappointed if it was cancelled again, the only way I see kids feeling that upset about it is if mum has made a fuss over it and said it's because the birthday child wants to go to another party, has said to her child isn't that rude, so now her child is taking on the adults feelings about the situation.

Spot on.

BettyJoanPerske · 21/07/2026 15:05

mylifeisexams · 21/07/2026 08:40

I agree, it’s a ridiculous overreaction.

Me three. Just nonsensical. I actually feel bad for OP's daughter and hope that she starts to absorb more of her father's mentality, as it is clearly a lot healthier.

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