AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

I wouldn't know where to charge my phone either tbf?

In London? Any café or pub or buy a powered up power bank. Charging points at railway stations.

I mean begging is better than mugging people.

For many of them, they'll just do either or both - depending on what gets them or their handlers more money from you; they aren't really fussy.

Even if they only ask for 'a few quid', they know that most women in particular will keep their cash in a small bag, right next to their bank cards, phones, keys, driving licence, passport (if visiting abroad). The 'just a few quid' is often nothing more than a foot in the door; potentially, you could lose a great deal (and just hope that it's 'only' money and possessions).

It was 100% a scam. It is very commonly used in London. I live near a big station and you see the same people doing it. They sometimes come to the house and try it out.

The big difference is that, if some kind person had offered to pay the hotel directly for a room for her, she would have been visibly overwhelmed with gratitude. She wouldn't turn and walk away annoyed if, like several people on here have recounted in their experiences with actual scammers, she realised that they weren't directly giving her cash.

I'd never really thought about it until just now, but in the actual parable of the Good Samaritan, the extremely kind man insisted on arranging what was needed and agreeing to settle the other man's bill; he didn't just hand him a big wad of cash directly. That had never occurred to me before; maybe they had scammers back then and the GS wanted to make sure that the man was genuinely in need and not just an elaborate scammer - or even in genuine need of X but possibly weak and tempted to spend the cash on Y instead, before stumping up?!

It’s a well known scam.

Also - libraries and restaurants. Most campuses of universities have student union buildings that members of the public can go to. If you have an iPhone then any Apple shop. In London, there would be thousands of places you could go to.

£30 in a taxi in London gets you a long way!!! Right across to the other side of London! YOU were the one who was robbed op ! N

And tbh, the posters puzzled by this- you're grown ups. If you're going to rely on your phone for every single thing that makes your life liveable, maybe think about this and have a back up plan.

An honest person would have insisted on getting your details to refund as much as £30!

I can understand why you helped but she was almost certainly a scammer

They're always really joyful when they've conned some cash out of someone. I've fallen for scammers too so I know what it's like. One turned out to be a very well known (to the police) drug addict. She'd been doing it for 20 years so was very good at it.

She was a scammer. I guess you’re not from a big city OP. Nevermind you’ll know for next time.

As for the “they’re victims”Line which people trot out to justify giving money to these people, that is frankly not your problem.

Being victims doesn’t stop them from hurling abuse if told no. The people who call you from the call centres to tell you your bank details have been compromised are often victims too, doesn’t stop them telling people to fuck off, calling them cunts and what not when they’re outed.

They know exactly what they’re doing. And they’re not all victims, some of them do it for their own living.

If you wouldn’t hand over your card details to the “bank” scammer even though he may have been trafficked from somewhere, then you don’t hand over cash to an unknown in the street.

The one from the bank told my MIL that she obviously had a tired pussy when she told him to go away. Told my FIL “I’ve fucked your mother.”

That’s no different to pretending to be a victim of circumstance and begging on the street.

As for giving out your bank details, while there are risks associated with doing so, it’s not the same as handing over cash you have no hope of ever getting back.

I've been in a similar situation with a young lad who approached me one evening as I was getting in my car. He was nicely dressed and well spoken and seemed a bit desperate and stranded.
I only had a tenner on me and I gave it to him because one way or another he clearly needed it! I've given a tenner to homeless people begging before when I could, and I would never give more than I could afford to lose.
Who knows if his story was true?
I'd like to think in that situation, if roles were reversed that somebody would help me.

A woman approached me in London recently and asked for directions to the nearest apple shop. She had her phone swiped out of her hands

I was very wary about her grabbing my phone or bag

sad really. Im sute she was genuine

Something I have never really thought about. I don't rely on my phone for everything though, I always have cards etc.

Bless your heart. You are kind and very naive.

I think she might be someone from my neighbourhood. If not it’s certainly her modus operandi. This sort of thing is one of her main sources of income.

One day I was driving near my home and this lady was running and waved me down saying she needed to get to xyz and could I give her a lift, without any thought I let her in my car and drove her there, only later did I think she could have been anyone (murderer abductor) but sometimes you act on spur of the moment and think later

We were staying in an Airbnb in Toronto recently, and we needed to use a local laundromat, we assumed that the machines would take card payments (they didn’t)
A very kind local went to the instore machine and got $10CAD in coins for us.
We had no way to pay him back.
We were immensely grateful and told him that we would be sure to pay it forward.
Assume you helped a genuine person in need.

I’ve given lifts to random people plenty of times. I can fit a push bike in my car so have rescued a few cyclists with broken bikes. The chances of them being murderers is as good a zero (yes there is a teeny chance but hardly) however the chance of someone like the women the OP met being a scammer is as good as 100%. The two situations are very different

In general, if somebody is asking you for a thing/favour, such as a lift, information, a sandwich or whatever, there's a very good chance that they will be genuine - assuming, of course, that it isn't just an 'in' to gaining your trust or distracting you so they can rob you.

One very clear way to mark out scammers is that they want money or valuables that they can sell - and aren't in the least interested in anything else. If somebody's story is not a ruse and is actually true - say they're telling you they're stranded and need to get to Leeds, and so you go to the railway station with them and buy them a ticket to Leeds - they will very gratefully accept it. By stark contrast, a ticket to Leeds on a train leaving in half an hour, when that was just a lie and they don't actually want or need to get to Leeds at all, is worthless to them and will be snubbed.

I would have shown her the walking directions on my phone as walking is free

There’s a woman in Liverpool who’s renowned for doing this to tourists. People will shout in the street “don’t give her anything” if they see her approaching people.