AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

You’ve been scammed! Happened to me once, in a station. Transport police very helpful with advice. These people could get Oscars for their acting ability.
To sum up , you direct them to the relevant authority - police, transport police, community warden etc. They will disappear at this point.

I wouldnt have given any money because im a bitch.
i also dont trust anyone.

So you would beg for money in the street, would you?

I find this scam ridiculous because professional people with social and financial capital (a Dutch lawyer in London!) don't need to resort to begging in the street. In these circumstances, you would go back to your hotel, or your office, call someone at home, or your bank or both and sort it out. It would be a right pain in the arse, but completely solvable.

Sometimes people deserve to be scammed...

I am pretty hard hearted these days. I used to feel terrible about walking past beggars without giving them anything. Then when I was living in Brussels in my early 20s early one morning I saw a big van going round the city centre dropping off women and small children to beg and realised it was organised crime. It opened my eyes. Now I give to St Mungos and Crisis to help the genuinely homeless and ignore every other attempt to beg or scam me.

Unfortunately there are a lot of scams like this- mainly because a night or a few nights in a hotel is hundred of pounds- she should have gone to the hotel she had booked and from there rung her bank and get the money transferred with some extra so she will have walking around money.
The red flag is having your wallet stolen on Oxford Street- far too obvious, and because it is Oxford Street it rarely happens, the wariness means there are far more fruitful places to pickpocket- the tube for example is far more common.

Whatever her circs were, you’re a kind person.

I'm a Londoner, recently moved and very often gave to people on the street. My DH said that it cost him £20 to just walk down the Strand, so many less fortunate there.

You could have said you would pay for an Uber, where did she want to go?
If she was well dressed i would have asked for her jacket in return

It doesn’t seem to have opened your eyes to the plight of those poor women and children, trafficked by organised crime for petty crime and professional begging. The majority from central and Eastern Europe.

Why would that make you less compassionate rather than more?

Do you donate to anti-slavery/anti-trafficking charities?

Are they specifically Roma though?

The post said Romanian. Roma and Romanian are not the same.

You were scammed. The woman assessed you, decided you were a soft touch and tried her luck. I see people, mainly men, sizing people up at ATMs on Market Street, Manchester, deciding whether it's worth asking. They always leave me alone.

£30 for a hug from a good looking Dutch lawyer seems reasonable tbf.

Oh come on, this is very unfair. That poster already donates to charity- you cant expect her to be responsible for donating to every charity that exists 🙄

By that rationale what about Barbados or the NSPCC - dont you care about children?

It was an expensive hug that could have been even more expensive if she had seen where you put your purse and phone.

A woman on the underground gave me a similar sob sorry recently and asked for money for her train fare. Like you, I was taken in until I saw her hand about to go into my open bag as I was looking in my purse. I immediately pulled my bag away from her and walked away. She is probably new to it and hasn't fully honed her pickpocketing skills yet, but she nearly got £10 from me that day.

I’m a Londoner too and aware of the extent of organised crime and trafficking behind “begging” here.

Posters on here cry “scam” without really understanding what that may mean.

My phone nearly died when I was in London the other day and I wouldn’t have had any way of paying for anything, travelling anywhere or contacting anyone

There are charge up places everywhere
https://chargedup.green/map

Or you buy a charged up charging bank or ask in Starbucks, Costa etc.

It doesn't really matter whether she was genuine or not, I think you did a lovely thing. Either way, your Karma just went up.

The post said “Romanian gypsies” if you read it. Gypsy is a derogatory term for Roma.

Nobodys biting. Move along

I was simply making the point that seeing victims of organised crime should perhaps make one more compassionate rather than less.

I don’t personally care where that poster donates their money.

Hmm, no, she did a stupid thing, even if she meant well.

Yeah the lawyer story is to lend credibility and sympathy. However think about it, most well travelled professionals will have a back up if travelling. When I go abroad I take some cash, two bank cards, a credit card and my phone. When out and about I generally only take some petty cash, my phone and one card. I leave the rest of the cash and cards in the hotel safe along with mt passport and any tavel.documents so I have a back up if I do lose my bag. This is really common safety precaution.

Some poster randomly misquoted an exchange from yesterday. That’s not on me.

She’d still be able to use Apple Pay with her cards frozen - £30 to get back to a hotel is ridiculous too. Did she request the amount?

I agree.

It's only because people like OP give them money that they continue to be a menace. We have a generous welfare state. No one has to rely on scamming to live.

That comment about you not knowing where to charge your phone in a capital city is shocking to me.