AIBU to worry about how I'll manage financially when I'm older?

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And to be absolutely terrified?

I'm 56. Haven't worked since DS was born in 2000. Originally the plan was to go back part time when he went to school then more hours as he got older. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 25 years ago which put the kybosh on that plan. DH has been the breadwinner and is on an okay wage (about £30k) but not enough to pay into a workplace pension or anything. We don't have any savings to speak of (about £2k for emergencies).

I have tried to find very flexible, part time work for years but it's absolutely impossible with no references etc and knowing I'll need time off sick several times a month when my symptoms are at their worst and/or the side effects from the drugs I take are particularly bad. I did have a job briefly (a few weeks) in a shop in 2011 but they let me go when I couldn't stand behind the counter and was off sick for a week, which I completely understand even though it was heartbreaking. I have applied for PIP but was turned down. I did not reapply because it was so dehumanising and stressful and we could manage on DH's salary just about.

What will happen when I/we reach pension age? DH is five years younger than me if that makes any difference. I'm so terrified of getting older that sometimes I think it would be better if I didn't. No money and health that is already declining makes for just such a bleak prospect. I think of the retirement my parents had - little UK breaks, days out, the occasional treat for DS, not well off by any means but comfortable and happy - and think what the future holds for me in comparison and it's so frightening. I've never been on holiday in my life and we have never been able to afford driving lessons let alone a car!

AIBU to be terrified of the future?

DH has been the breadwinner and is on an okay wage (about £30k

Sorry but this is not really an ok wage...do you get top up benefits?

I think what's key here is your housing situation...do you own or rent...if the latter is it private or social housing?

Have you a mortgage or do you rent.

First thing to do is check your state pension entitlement. It's easy to do from Gov website.

Your husband should be paying into his pension as any top up income will help in retirement. Has he got the ability to earn more as 30k isn't a great salary for full time work.

Have a look at Meaningful Money on YouTube. There was a video about how investing £6 a week into pension really builds up over time (I tried to find it but can’t, lots of other good videos on there tho). Trying to do something in terms of investing is always better than doing nothing. The government tops up pension contributions by 25%.

£30,000 Not enough to pay into a workplace pension
Work place pensions kick in once you earn over £10,000 so it would automatically be deducted.

You need to look at claiming the benefits and possible reapply for PIP if nothing else to make sure you are getting NI credits

Then when you reach pension age it won’t be much less than you bring in now.

No benefits. We rent from a housing association.

I know it's not a brilliant wage but it's enough for us to get by, just about.

It's almost the top salary for the job he does. We can't afford for the pension contributions.

I did check my entitlement a while ago and I would have to pay several thousand pounds to top up my contributions for state pension which I don't have.

Make sure you’re claiming universal credit and child benefit, plus do try again for PIP. Rheumatoid arthritis is no joke; you can’t work with it.

On your income at retirement you should get pension credit. If you’ve claimed benefits that should’ve got you full state pension entitlements too - check with DWP on Gov.uk for your NI record.

Do you rent? If so, housing benefit should cover your costs. If you have a mortgage get it paid off before retirement if you can.

I don’t usually advise claiming, but if you have rheumatoid arthritis you really need to.

You need to check your state pension entitlement. If you worked before 2000, you could have around 10 years NI contributions from working. You'll then have another 11/12 years due to CB, so that's well over half a state pension right there.

But tbh, if you have a condition that means you cannot work, you really should push for your entitlement to PIP even if is stressful as you'll have more money to live on and get NI credits towards your state pension. I think a good proportion of rejected claims are approved on appeal.

Is your DH being paid fairly for what he does? It's quite a low wage, not hugely above NMW. Can he get a better paid job.

You could also ask for advice from pensionwise, a free government service that advises people over 50 on their pension options.

If you're renting and expecting to continue doing so into retirement, you might be entitled to pension credit if you don't have two full state pensions between you, and as well as extra financial help, it's a gateway benefit to other enhancements like extra help eg a free TV licence, I think.

The first payment was but they took about £100 and we didn't have enough money left for food and bills that month so he had to opt out. We budget to within an inch of our lives but there is no way we could make it affordable.

Terrified? You live in a country which will ensure you have a roof over your head, food on your plate and free healthcare. If you pay your NI contributions you can get state pension too, if not you'll get a range of other benefits. If you can't afford social care, so w will be provided for you. And all this will happen without you working. So yes, YABU.

Cross posted. At least your housing is secure. But you really should apply for PIP if you cannot work.

I think the OP is using 'terrified' in the modern sense of the word, ie a synonym for 'a bit worried'.

Have you investigated any benefits you may be entitled to? Because if that's the difference between being able to contribute to a pension or not then why wouldn't you?

To be fair, use as such does seem to be restricted to Mumsnet.

We're not entitled to UC because DH works full time. DS is 25 and has left home so no CB.

I would apply for PIP again but they told me I wasn't eligible last time because I said I was able to wash my own hair sometimes and cook a meal a few days a week and could go to the supermarket sometimes. But of course RA means that some days I can't do any of these things or even get out of bed. I take two drugs for it which also make me very ill, some days I can barely leave the bathroom the day after let alone the house. But then I have good days where I can go for a walk (sometimes even without my sticks) in the park and make dinner and it seems as if these were what the pip assessor concentrated on. I'm scared that if I apply the will think I'm being fraudulent because there are days which are not quite as bad as others.

That would make sense. "Worried" is a proportionate response.

This is all really helpful, thank you.

I have about 8 years of contributions from work as a lot of the work I did when I was younger was casual or part time.

I didn't know until today that pip counts towards contributions. I dread having to apply for it again but maybe I need to.

No, I'm terrified. I have poor health that's getting worse. The disease I have and the drugs I take for it make me very sensitive to the cold so in the winter I need the heating on, at the moment we have it on for an hour in the evening and half an hour in the morning which isn't ideal but it warms the house. If we can't even afford that it will be awful. That's just one example of how disability costs more and at the moment we can just about manage, but with less money I don't know how we will.

You need advice on pip see someone then make a new claim eg chairiy for your condition or CAB or Personal Independence Payment (PIP) | Disability Rights UK https://share.google/oLkqJLgaHwPaTzX6l

Check you have NI credits for all years claiming cb

Check again UC entitlement

Giving up pension contribs was not a goid long term strategy. Dh should get back on paying pension. Ideally you pay your own too

Get full financial advice from CAB advisor you can pay in 2880 a year and govt contributes top up to make it3600

Dont wait. Get proper advice.

Maybe think of phoning NRAS for advice on benefits? If they can't help they will signpost you to the right place to go. There is a definite knack to filling in these types of forms and there will be help to do that if you need it. There will also be help to appeal if you feel the decision is wrong.

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

Is there any flexi work you could do? It sounds like you are saying you're sometimes well enough to work. I guess gone are the days of stuffing envelopes but that kind of thing - where it doesn't matter if you have a day off for illness sometimes?

Why isn't that an OK wages. It's slightly below the average for the UK?