AIBU to wonder about names in the past.

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask if anyone has noticed this, and if they do, what the reason for it is. I am in my 60's, so my grandparents were all born in the 'Edwardian' era and not one of them were called by their actual names. Some of them were so different from their given names, not diminutives like Dottie for Dorothy but more like Nora for Gladys! Names bearing no relation to first or even middle names. My Grandfather was called James John but every called him 'Bertie'. I have come across this in other families too. I thought I would ask a bigger group ( ie mumsnet) to see if anyone else has noticed or pondered this. I think I got too much time on my hands 😂

This is true. My dad died in 2023, his will was written in 1994 when I was a student living at home, between 1994 and 2023 I moved (several times), my parents moved house, and I got married and changed my surname.

But I am still "my elder daughter, Lalique".

I'm a bit puzzled with the people who like to have their children/grandchildren named after them - presumably seeing them as an extension of them rather than as an individual in their own right - that they would actually want that for themselves, regardless of how the child may view it as they grow up.

Personally, I'm extremely far from the most amazing or interesting person ever; but I wouldn't want to share my own name with somebody else in the family either. Fair enough if it's somebody who marries in and who happens to have the same name; but other than that, whilst I'm still alive, I would very much prefer my name to only refer to me within my own family.

I still think it could be confusing outwith the date of birth, though - especially if it involves people who did share the same address at one point.

I don't think I've ever seen my date of birth mentioned in any will that I've been named in - but then, I suppose you would ensure that you did include it if you know you're part of a family that gives the same names to everybody.

It's probably easier if it's your own children; but if it's your grandchildren, and you have two or more with the same name, that could get very confusing.

Even more so if it's cousins, as they may all be of the sane generation. Although unlikely, it's also not beyond the realms of possibility that you could have two cousins with the same name whi were born on the exact same day!

I'll still never see the sense of it. It's like writing a shopping list with 'carrots' written a dozen times, but you know that one of them is the type of carrots that are made fron flour and come in sliced loaves; and another is the type of carrots that are laid by hens; and another is the type of carrots that previously went oink before they were killed and cured... except it's not just a bunch of groceries - it's actual people, for their whole lives.

Ah yes, maybe Queenie was for Victoria. I remember reading years ago which name it was used for, and half thought it was Mary, but Victoria seems likely.

I just get called trouble and im not old enough

My father in law is called harry. Not one of his friends knew that till his wedding day and they all called him Danny an adaption of his surname

There used to be a chap nicknamed Tiny in our village. He was about 6'5". No idea what his real name was.

Yeah I knew a Betty whose real name was actually Ethel. She was a god awful witch.

I don't know how great great grandad coped. His DM, DSis, DW, DD and DGD were all called Emma!

FIL's family is very mixed up .

His dad was John, known as Jimmy.
His mum was Agnes, known as Anne.
He is Arthur William, known as Bill.
His sister is Lavinia, known as Vinnie. (which at least is reasonable)
His other sister is Mary Elizabeth, known as Bunty.

I know someone (worked for him in my teens) universally known as ‘Happy Junior’, because he’d ‘inherited’ the ‘Happy’ nickname from his famously morose father, who’d run the same shop and pub, despite himself being an averagely cheerful chap.

My grandparents were both known by different names. My grandma's nickname was male and my granddad's nickname is much more common as female name.
My dad, brother, grandpa and great grandpa all have exactly the same name, but are all variants of their first name eg. James, Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo.

In DH's family his dad had cousins Til, Tot, Tom etc. who's names were all completely different. I love it, it makes it all very interesting when researching the family trees!

My grandad was called Eric, but was always known as John, as that was the family name,and his elder sibling called John died when they were both babies. Bit morbid, but that was common.

My great gran was called Emmeline, but always called Nell. Just because Emmeline is a mouthful!

I'm 55, so my great gran was Edwardian and my grandad fought in the Second World War.

I should add that my great gran got off easy as the eldest. Subsequently her family "got" Methodism, and her siblings were Honesty, Sobriety, Chastity, Effort, Praise and Faith! Unsurprisingly, they mostly changed their names informally.

That's brilliant! 'Effort' particularly.

Was Honesty a lier, Sobriety a drunk etc?

My children have "family" names, it's a nice connection through the generations. They also have distinctive first names, as my family tree is about 90% John Jones and William Williams.

I am known by a random name, nothing to do with my actual name (and not to do with WW2 either! Love how many people missed the joke!).

For everyone with elderly relatives with random names I share this wonderful, rather sad poem by Wendy Cope.

genius.com/Wendy-cope-names-annotated

I said early in the thread that as far as I am aware all of my Mum's Mum's large family went by their first names or obvious diminutives there of but my Dad's Dad was always know by a diminutive of his surname. Presumably because his actual first name was bloody awful.

My dad was born in 1920. He went by a name that wasnt either his Christian or second name.
He had a brother that already had the name and went by it. I have no idea why!

My FIL goes by his middle name (he's in his 80's)

Both of my paternal grandparents' families did this, I can't mention names as especially my granddad's name would be way too outing.

My granny was put in service as a ladies' maid when she was 11, just before WW1 (I'm not about 90 years old, just an afterthought in a family that tends to marry late!). She shared a name with the woman she was serving, so obviously that wouldn't do and she was re-named with a nickname that stuck for life.

I don't have a middle name, as my mum couldn't think of one that fitted.

I think the "fashion cycle" of names is much faster than it ever was in the past.

If you're called Carol, Lisa, Karen, Donna, Linda, Christine - you were probably born in the late 60s or early 70s. (Or Gary, Paul, Alan if you are male)

If you are called Kylie, Gemma, Jennifer, Heather, Melissa - 1980s names,

2000s names - Chloe, Jessica, Emily, Sophie.

In the 19th century you couldn't date a name to a particular decade. Not a hard and fast rule but there were not Kylie/Kayleighs before the late 80s.

I know a Kylie (English born and bred) in her late 50s. There are a few out there.