AIBU to wonder about names in the past.

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask if anyone has noticed this, and if they do, what the reason for it is. I am in my 60's, so my grandparents were all born in the 'Edwardian' era and not one of them were called by their actual names. Some of them were so different from their given names, not diminutives like Dottie for Dorothy but more like Nora for Gladys! Names bearing no relation to first or even middle names. My Grandfather was called James John but every called him 'Bertie'. I have come across this in other families too. I thought I would ask a bigger group ( ie mumsnet) to see if anyone else has noticed or pondered this. I think I got too much time on my hands 😂

They'd write John William Roberts, son of my son Thomas or John William Roberts, child of my youngest son John.

What I find weird is how many people who would claim to be English born and bred are in anyway surprised at this. Unless it's the faintest remains of a fault line around the English class system. (Edward VII being called Bertie and all that). I comes across as dicking around with names is somehow something other people do.

Many years ago, a friend who is Muslim had her first baby - a daughter. Congratulations all round led to name chat. She told me that they had already chosen a name that would used everyday. However the "proper" name would have to wait until their Imam had advised. Which was their custom.

Vaguely reminded me of the first time I discovered there is such a thing as a "church name".

I've worked with a few people whose everyday name is a far cry from their "real" name. Either because of pronunciation, or just to avoid confusion.

But what if you'd gone extreme and given both/all of your DSs the same name too?! I suppose you'd have to go into distinguishing by birthdays!

When parents turn up to register their baby's name on the birth certificate as, say, Arthur James Smith, there won't be any need for the registrar to even find out that they won't actually use the Arthur bit and call him James at home. Why would they even mention it? Why does the registrar need to know that there are other members of the wider family with the same name(s)? It is none of their business.

It was common in Celtic culture. Christen a child one name and then call them something completely different. Or always use a middle name (as happened to me) rather than given first name. No idea why!

Then your name would be George Foreman or Tyson Fury.

😂

You are going to faint when I tell you this, his uncle John (Victor) emigrated to the US (already married). He called his son John (Steven). Steven then called his son John (Andrew). Andrew’s mother (American) thought it was a “cute” family tradition. I could not believe they had continued it over there!

John and Jack have always puzzled me too. Nothing wrong with either name, just why?

I know! Everyone is being so po faced about it as well! "Absolutely not" "Where's your source?" As if anyone would really think that!

Because of the multiple people with the same name.

I've read the whole thread now and people are still sternly telling off the person who made an obvious joke about the second world war. Of course it's not true! I just don't understand how so many people are believing the poster meant it!

My aunty Pat was actually named Sybill, which she hated, hence Pat.

Yet another with no ability to spot, never mind laugh at, an obvious joke!

To be fair, there is a lot of mince written on this site.

My cockney grandfather (born 1910) was named Rodney but his friends and work mates always called him Ron as Rodney was seen as too highfalutin. I believe it was my grandfather suggested that Ron was his name

I work in care and this is really common.
We've even had a few dates of birth that couldn't really be corroborated and were likely tweeked due to teen pregnancy/shotgun wedding
Remember comforting a very upset daughter due to this
Agree though that a lot of the 'nicknames' are completely random!

No they weren’t, just realised it was supposed to be a joke ? 🤨

It was a plotline in Allo Allo, so definitely true.

Date of birth plus address. In some countries they add the identity card number.

My parents (born in the 1930s) had first names given in honour of dead relatives and were both called by their middle names lifelong. Unsurprisingly as their first names were eg Bartholomew and Trivia.

I'm just thinking from the pov of common sense that multiple people with the same name in one family - even if middle names are intended to be used instead - is inevitably going to lead to confusion along the line.

I would even go further and say that each child deserves their own name as an individual (within their family) and not to be effectively considered an extension of a parent or other family member.

It's absolutely bonkers to give a child a first name when you have no intention of them using that as their first name. By all means, if a person prefers to be known by their middle name - or indeed a completely different name - when they're older and make the decision for themselves; but to deliberately plan to officially give them their names in the wrong order from birth is such a pointless, needlessly confusing, self-indulgent thing to do - thinking of yourself and not the child.

My Uncle Sonny’s real name was Alexander.

After MIL's funeral so many old women were coming up to me and talking about Joan I thought I'd wandered into the wrong place. No one in DP's family called her Joan, only her friends.

In my dad's family the first male grandchild gets a certain name. This is why my brother, dad, grandad, and great grandad all have/had the same name.

I have a lot of this throughout the generations my family, even aunts in their 50s and 60s. They were named after mothers, grandmothers, etc but known by a name that their parents preferred.

More unusually, my x2 great grandmother’s surname was inexplicably pronounced differently to how it was spelt - think “Dunnock” but known as “Dennant”.