To ask HOW do people find the time to do things when they work full time?

[latesummerearlyautumn2]

I work full time, majority from home, and just about manage to keep on top of housework, life/home maintenance on top of that.

I walk every lunch break and after work to do 10k steps a day, but after that I have dinner, shower, may call a relative for a quick chat, and then before I know it, it’s time for bed.

Weekends are usually spent doing essential things like food shopping, laundry, house and garden stuff.

I don’t even have kids and marvel at people who have the time to maintain good social lives in particular. I find it hard enough staying connected with family members. My sister for example is always out with various friends, on holiday, or a trip away etc and I wonder if these people ever sleep?

I can’t be the only one with a boring life, am I?

@managingexpectations you do housework when you're on Night Shift? Or when you're meant to be asleep? That is confusing wording.

@EmeraldRouletteapologies today is in between nightshifts and I’m clearly sleep deprived.
I get my housework done during the day when I’m nights when most nightshift workers would be sleeping. I run on about 1.5/2hrs sleep and just get the house squared away before work so that it’s done for my days off

When I didn’t have kids i worked long hours and went out and travelled all the time but I spent almost zero time on cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. Other than cleaning (I had a cleaner) why would it take all weekend? What house stuff you need to be doing?

Wow, that is very little sleep! It sounds like it suits you though - to work this way - so that's good.

Make an outline menu for a month at a time. Makes the what shall we have dilemma helps with shopping. Really does work.

You sound like someone with a rigid routine.

You prioritise walking 10k steps etc…. Instead of walking after work you could meet a friend for tea?

It does seem very unusual that the whole weekend is spent doing chores. That sounds very boring. What do you do for fun?

I think a lot depends on your energy levels. Lots of what others are describing is way beyond my capacity.

I used to feel like this a bit pre kids. I think it depends on a few things.
since kids I think my expectation of even having a second to myself are gone. Social life I don’t expect. And have also learn to be more organised and productive to a degree as I just have to be

Do you watch a lot of TV? I know I would mentally have an expectation of being able to sit for at least 1-2 hours most nights uninterrupted on the sofa to watch TV/chill so I think that would talk a lot of time. I think that’s reasonable and something I enjoy after a long day but I think not everyone is doing that mid-week…

do you do your supermarket shopping all in ome go, once per week? I used to do it in dribs and drabs so that didn’t help.

clutter is a big factor and still battling this (worse than ever with kids. I hate clutter and don’t try to have any but kids plus husband with ADHD and just live in chaos sadly) managing mess and a chaotic house is a huge drain on time.

do you have particularly high standards? Or have a strong desire for things to be ‘finished’?
I realised, particularly at work, that I often would like everything ‘done’ before feeling fully relaxed but that’s actually not realistic and not maybe what everyone is doing. Equally though I can also let things pile up so then I have way less chance of getting it all done. So have a double whammy, nothing is done but equally can’t relax.

I think some people just more organised, more focused, waste less time and maybe less tv during the week.

How stressful is your job? Some people more mentally and physically drained by evening too

It's not motivation, it's discipline. And accepting that, for me at least, tasks expand to fill the time you assign to them.

i have three teens, a full time job, I sit on a number of non-profit boards and I am training for a marathon.

Without fail I get up at 6am and I walk the dog for 2 miles. Once I'm done with work I come home and make dinner. After that my time is really my own. One hour on either strength training or running. Every third week I have a Board meeting so I either work out before or afterwards. My health is my priority and I don't miss workouts.

Do online grocery shopping, at least one load of laundry every other day (I'm putting it in the machine and pressing a few buttons, not dragging it to the river, after all). 10 minute whip round with the Hoover. Cleaning lady once a fortnight.

I don't really watch TV but I'm as prone to doomscrolling at the next man. But more than anything I am a doer, and I hate the sense that life is passing me by without me squeezing every drop out of it.

Not trying to be unkind here, but how on earth is shopping and laundry for one person, and "life" taking up a full weekend? That's a 2-hour job here, and there's five of us. Are you particularly low in energy, or unwell, because something doesn't seem right.

They do things too slowly

Suspect the replies arent making OP feel any better 😅 but I can see where it goes in the evening:

• Finish work 5.30/6pm >
• walk 6-7>
• make dinner, eat it and clear up kitchen 7-8>
• call relative 8-845
• Shower, shave legs, wash hair whatever evening ablutions 8:45>9:30

Weekends:
Garden weeds are buggers this time of year and you can spend all day clearing bramble and weeds only to find yourself back at square one the following weekend!

2 kids and I work from home full time. I don’t find time. I just accept it’s not going to be all done. I have piles of clean washing always to put away, cleaning is sporadic, the main thing I keep clean is the bathrooms and kitchen, I haven’t got time to dust lightshades and whatnot. Run the hoover round every two weeks. I do a big clean every 3 months though. Spend a weekend polishing and dusting etc. But I honestly just don’t have time for much more and I am not an organised person either so that doesn’t help.

I don’t faff. I have friends without kids who faff. When I go away with them, I’m awake at 6, coffee till 6.15, out for a run, today the communal kitchen and they are just doing a floaty wakey up thing. Then when we’re getting ready to go out for the day I’m like quick shower, keys, pack lunch job done. 45 mins of faffing later they join me.

I go to the gym before work, around 6.30am. This was difficult to start but I love it now, all showered and exercised by 8am. Home for breakfast, empty Dishwasher and washing machine before work.
I wfh and lunchtimes are for running errands and some chores. I'll defrost and prep food for dinner. Evenings are my own after dinner. Before bed the dishwasher and washer are set for overnight cheap elec rates. I do have a hands on DH that does his fair share when he's home but he does long shifts with a commute, he's out of the house for 14h a day, so it makes sense to squeeze some chores into my shorter day.

I don't know if anyone has asked how old you are or your state of health. I have massively less energy as each decade passes, I think this matters more than sheer hours. Also menopause destroyed my strength and energy. A stressful job drained it too.

Some of the replies here are so unrealistic or bordering on martyrdom. "I do therefore I am". Sometimes it's ok to just be.

1. Massive declutter of “things”
2. we keep our lounge really tidy so there’s always one room that’s completely clutter free
3. when we do jobs/ projects we equally prioritise making them future proof and make life easier as well as looking nice - gradually over time this has reduced the workload
4. lower standards and expectations

I also work from home and found I was just logging on early if I was ready early, and since starting a new job I have said no, that’s my time- I now do 30-40 mins housework or tidying up each day which does make a difference I think.

You just do.

I used to have a job where I regularly did 80 hours a week. Do life admin, see friends and family, go to the gym, date etc.

Looking back, I wonder how I did it, but you just get on with it as it's gradual.

Having kids is gradual, you have nine months of knowing they're coming then siblings etc.

It just doesn't suddenly happen all at once.

Same with multiple jobs, you start with one, then add on.

My life is still busy, but not hectic like it used to be but I'll probably look back at this period and wonder how I did it.

I really have no idea what you're doing with your time. Do you work ridiculously long hours?

Before I had kids I had no problem fitting everything in. Had plenty of time to socialise and got lots of sleep (most of the time!). I didn't spend weekends doing housework. I did the washing in the week, throwing a load in before work, taking it out after. I went to the gym 3 x a week before work and picked up a food shop on the way home from work (also used public transport and walked to the stop so got in plenty of walking that way). Cleaned as I went most of the time, or a mad dash before guests came.

Garden wasn't a priority so it just got mowed once in a while. Took about 30 minutes.

I tended to go out a couple of evenings after work with friends and weekends were mainly spent visiting or hosting folks, going on a day trip/to a match/concert/long walk/etc. or having a chill day watching TV and maybe indulging in a long brunch.

Totally different story once the kids were here, and friendships were harder to invest in. But now they're older I've taken up a time consuming hobby and they're off to uni next year (fingers crossed) so I'm looking forward to seeing friends in person a lot more again.

I am the same as you but I have 2 kids. However I work part time only usually 3 hours a day so I have ‘loads of time’ and still I feel I am constantly doing house stuff or cooking. I do exercise every day, usually spend at least 1.5 hrs walking or working out (at home). I cook every day that takes usually an hour. I do almost all the chores so that’s maybe 1-2 hours a day. I take my kids to school one way most days, another 1 hour in the car….it adds up. All Drs and dentist appointments for kids etc…

But at the weekends I try to stick to doing everything Saturday morning and then it’s done. I get everyone to help on a Sunday so I don’t have to do it. It doesn’t always work but it often means we go out at least one day a week. I do go out in the week also but as I say it’s often for walks / errands more. Oh and I do Pilates once a week.

But one thing I have really realised is if you stay in you create more work! We don’t have much disposable income currently because I can’t work more than I am due to health issues and because of that we are doing much less in terms of days out etc.
we never eat out unless on holiday. the more we are at home the more jobs seem to need to be done! In your situation without kids I might try and just go out one day a week, even if it’s something free like a museum or longer walk / picnic etc. I think it’s really beneficial for the mind to have a break from chores!

I got sick of it all last week and booked a treat for us all today and I know I’ll feel better for having a day out of the house and not looking at my washing pile / cluttered house!

Faffing is definitely a thing!! I am so efficient when I am out for the day on my own it takes no time at all to do things. As soon as I am out with certain people I seem to spend half my time waiting for them to do their stuff that I have done so much more quickly.

For people who faff, they really don't get nearly as much done in a day. I am not sure if people are aware that they are 'faffers' and take a long time to sort themselves out. It's not just having kids. I had a child and I was just as quick and efficient.

Less time faffing, more time for fun!

I agree that shopping in person can be a lot more efficient. I also go to an exercise class run by a friend, and go to parkrun, so my exercise time is quite social.

We also do our shopping list on Alexa, so roughly planning our meals through the week, and then we e got a list so the supermarket is done and dusted in 30 minutes.

Same. I’ve got health problems and I’m anemic. There is no way I could do even half of what a lot of PPs are describing.

I worked out that I simply have to choose.

Choose what I want to do, or make time to do. My non negotiable is locking myself in my music room for an hour each off day and doing music study. If I didn't consciously take that time, it would simply be swallowed up by the house stuff.

Im going in there now, I'm changed and everything else will wait.

You know that you're anaemic though, and are presumably doing whatever is possible to treat your anaemia and investigate the causes if not known.

The OP doesn't have a known medical issue or at least doesn't mention one. If they really don't have the energy for anything beyond essential chores at weekends then there is something off balance and they need to look into it. As you know, being long term anaemic can cause damage, and the same is true of other potential causes of low energy, many of which are treatable.