To ask HOW do people find the time to do things when they work full time?

[latesummerearlyautumn2]

I work full time, majority from home, and just about manage to keep on top of housework, life/home maintenance on top of that.

I walk every lunch break and after work to do 10k steps a day, but after that I have dinner, shower, may call a relative for a quick chat, and then before I know it, it’s time for bed.

Weekends are usually spent doing essential things like food shopping, laundry, house and garden stuff.

I don’t even have kids and marvel at people who have the time to maintain good social lives in particular. I find it hard enough staying connected with family members. My sister for example is always out with various friends, on holiday, or a trip away etc and I wonder if these people ever sleep?

I can’t be the only one with a boring life, am I?

Put in 20 minutes every evening, a blitz listening to
music, keeping your weekends free. It’s an extra workout to add to your steps. 4 songs.

Even if you live 5 minutes from a supermarket, actually going there, locating a trolley, choosing your shopping, queuing up at the checkout, paying, bagging up your shopping, returning your trolley and then getting yourself back home, is NOT quicker than selecting some items on an app.

Plus, you can save regular items so you don't even need to search them out.

Online groceries and a cleaner even before children. Frees up loads of time.

It’s even better when they start driving and can take themselves off!!

I have three kids, a full time professional job (1.5 days WFH) and a reasonable social life, im 50yo.
i have noticed that chores expand with time. What i mean is that when im on A/L it takes me a lot more time to do the usual laundry/tidy up and so on than when i am at work. Being busy with life kind of forces me into being more efficient at household chores. Same with kids. When i had one, i was feeling overwhelmed with everything. Three kids: everything is streamlined!!!
so make time for other things and you’ll find you can keep on top of your house much quicker!

Unless keeping your house tidy is giving you an (unconscious) reason to keep you away from friendships ? (My mum was like that)

Very easily. I don’t have kids either and maybe spend half an hour twice a day at weekends doing housework.

Your ex sounds like me 😂 I love having plans and things to look forward to

DH and I both work FT in quite demanding jobs (DH teacher, me a lawyer) and we have 2 primary aged kids.

We do manage it, but its tough at times due to juggling kids and kids' clubs, parties. We definitely have time for a social life, and the main blocker to that is ensuring one of us is around to sort the kids tbh - when we didn't have kids we had great social lives without much issue.

Housework - We do this here and there everyday. We try and clear up meals as soon as finished, dishwasher on every night and unloaded every morning. A load of washing on most mornings/delay timer overnight and hung up before work. Will spend about 1 hour at the weekend doing bigger cleaning jobs, mowing the lawn etc. We have a robot hoover programmed to come out and clean every day once kids are at school and we're at work and this helps keep the floors clear. We don't have a cleaner or anything.

Food shop - We always do this online. Regular slot to deliver the weekly shop on a Monday evening. Might pop out to local co-op for extra bits in the week if needed. I wouldn't want to spend much time doing shopping at the weekend!

I don't really understand how you only have time for a quick shower and a phone call after work each night? Do you go to bed really early?? We manage to do social stuff, kids clubs, visit family, bit of housework in that time.

Friendships do need maintenance and time spent together; but it’s about carving out and protecting that time as a priority rather than putting it in last place. Actively plan things you’d like to do ahead and then work “life stuff” around those plans rather than the other way around. If you stop thinking “I can’t meet Jen and Kate for lunch on Saturday because I have to clean the bathroom and go to Sainsbury’s” and start thinking “I’m meeting Jen and Kate for lunch on Saturday; I’ll go to Sainsbury’s on the way back and the bathroom can wait a couple of days” you’ve shifted your mindset.

I think this is where I’m confused, because from what you’ve described, I can’t see anything that’s taking up a huge amount of your time. It would be different if you had young kids, for example - most people understand that maintaining friendships and a social life is much harder then, although I do have friends who still manage it. But like me, you don’t.

For example, yesterday I got up at 7, went to a 7:30 Pilates class, came home, showered, put a load of laundry on, and was at my desk for work by 9.

At lunchtime I swapped the laundry over, stripped my bed, hung up the previous load, made and ate lunch, wiped down the kitchen surfaces, texted a few friends, and chatted to my retired mum on the phone while I was doing it.

I finished work at 6, switched the laundry again, and headed out to meet a friend for dinner. I read on the Tube, stopped by the library to collect some reservations, then met my friend at 6:45. We finished around 9, and because there was a large Waitrose nearby I picked up a few things I can’t get near home before heading back. On the journey I replied to a few more texts, and checked my work email.

I got home around 10, sat on the sofa for a little while to cool off, made the bed with the bedding that had finished washing by then, had a quick shower, read for a bit, and was asleep around midnight.

That’s a not atypical weekday for me, and it doesn’t feel especially rushed. And I had plenty of time to maintain relationships with family and friends. That’s why I’m struggling to understand where the difference is.

Yeah I think that was the issue between us. He was definitely a planner whereas I'm more relaxed and can't think too far ahead. How am I supposed to know on a Monday what I'll feel like doing on Saturday and Sunday? I might be tired or not in the mood or the heavens might open and there's no chance of going to the beach. I guess we had very different mindsets. I started to get very irritable with him on Mondays and he'd be just as annoyed with me.

I think you need to have a look at your priorities. Are you maybe taking housework and the garden too seriously? I too like an organised house and pretty garden but I need human connection too. If you do not have time to socialise nobody is seeing any of this anyway. Noone will die if you leave your bedroom a mess one week or let a couple of weeds grow. Life is for living OP. Book in the social events first then figure out the chores around that.

Are you wasting a lot of time doom scrolling ? I only ask as I’m childfree; work full time and go to the gym about 5 mornings/ week, so no time to do chores weekday mornings. If I don’t get on with chores when I get in from work at 6pm then next thing I know it’s 8pm and time to make dinner then go to bed. I leave my phone in my bag until after chores and dinner; just radio 4 on.

Things that make life easier for us are the simple, practical routines we’ve built over time.

The tumble dryer is a lifesaver, my boys take full responsibility for the dishwasher, and choosing non‑iron clothes keeps life stress‑free.

With two school‑leaver teens now working full‑time professional apprenticeships — one also playing professional sport and the other studying at university in the evenings — our days usually start around 5am and don’t slow down until 9 or 10 at night. Because of that, being organised is essential for us (we also both work F/T)

I bulk buy most of our food. Meat, fish and vegetables come from local farmhouses and the butcher, and then I’ll do a small top‑up shop on a Friday if we need anything.

Meal planning keeps everything running smoothly, and on Sundays I prep meals and freeze them so we have several weeks’ worth ready to go. Slow‑cooker dishes and tray‑bake meals work best for us as we are all on different timetables.

When I batch cook, I usually make two or three batches of each meal, portion them into reusable/disposable trays, freeze them, and then take out what we need either the night before or first thing in the morning.

Unfortunately this week I’m doing a much bigger freezer batch than usual. My mum is terminally ill, and I’ll be travelling home early next week — once work approves emergency carer’s leave — while I fight with social services to put a care plan in place as currently she is being neglected by her alcoholic LT partner.

My best friends are coming over this weekend, and between us we’ll be cooking a full set of meals so my boys have everything they need while I’m away.

We’re making

Hunter’s Chicken with wedges and sweetcorn

Chicken & Chorizo Skewers with Mediterranean veg on flatbreads

Beef Lasagne with salad and garlic bread

Cajun Mac & Cheese with Southern‑fried chicken steaks

Cod with Red Pesto, parmesan new potatoes, green beans, baby corn & asparagus in garlic butter traybake

Slow‑Cooker Beef Fajitas

Slow‑Cooker Tikka Masala, rice and naan

Salmon & Lentil Traybake with kale, broccoli, carrots, asparagus & cauliflower.

Chicken pies (family‑sized)

Beef Pies (family‑sized)

Minced Beef Pies (family‑sized)

Vegetable cheese bakes (leak, spinach, cauliflower, sprouts, broccoli, carrots) - to go with pies

Sage & Onion chicken meatballs with garlic potatoes, steamed broccoli, carrots and cauliflower.

Corned beef hash (family‑sized)

These are foods that Dh can put straight into the oven/slow cooker and anyone can eat once ready at anytime, for us you need to work hard for a few days to make the rest of the week easier, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I don’t understand how people with dependent dc work f/t fit in exercise, cooking from scratch, eating together, time alone, family time, friends time, time with partner, extended family time, facilitate dcs activities, homework, housework etc but according to MNs it’s easy.

I work p/t & can’t do it, all I can do is switch things and juggle them at different times.

You have to invest time in planning and new habits and systems. I found Marie Kondo fairly life changing, and the organised mum method built on it, as did the batch lady. I don't follow them religiously, but doing little and often works wonders. I've tried to eliminate steps from various tasks. So ds' judo bag stays near the backdoor where we come in with the dry washing and goes straight in. I tend to wash clothes by person so I don't have to sort them as I go. And doing a load a day during the week really does free up time at the weekend. Also getting much stricter with other members of the household making them tidy up after themselves.

It's pretty easy if you have children with a decent, equal parent.

But many don't and then for some unfathonable reason, go on to have more with the same waste of space.

I don’t have kids either and tend to get up at 05:30 in the week (I’m naturally an early riser), and get cracking with putting on laundry/ clean/ other house chores for an hour then 1 hour dog walk.

At about 07:00 or 07:30 i will do a 30min kettlebell workout following a YouTube workout followed by breakfast and shower, and last few tidy up bits if there are any/ there is time and start work at 09:00 working from home. The workouts I do 4 times a week and then once a week I skip the workout and will do a food shop at 07:00 or 07:30 instead.

lunchtime I will eat leftovers from previous dinner (so no prep time required) and short round the block walk with dog.

finish work at 17;00 and will take dog for another 1-hour walk. Depending on what is for dinner I might have popped something in the oven/ chopped something up during the day to reduce prep time after the dog walk.

I don’t do any chores at the weekend beyond making food and cleaning up after myself as I go in the kitchen and tend not to leave things lying around e.g clothes will always be put away/ into laundry basket and if I have been doing a craft in the evening i will pack it away before going to bed at 21:30, lights out at 22:00 unless there is something going on like meal// other evening activity out with friends.

so in summary, I think key to free time is being quite strict with routines. I try to tidy as I go and keep on top of things but also getting up early to time box chores to early before work makes a big difference for me rather than allowing chores to eat into the weekends.

Not easy at all. Having to do it turned me into an efficiency machine, utterly ruthless about how I spent every minute of my waking hours. I definitely wouldn't say it was easy, but it was doable.

I still don’t see it and I say that as someone with a very hands on DH.

Obviously if you work from home 100%, never have to do overtime, have no commute then it will be easier.

Our Saturday used to be spent cleaning. We got a cleaner. Now we don’t spend any time cleaning on a Saturday. We pay about £150 per month for her to do the basics and keep on top of the other stuff as we go.

Laundry - if it builds up we do use the laundrette for a service wash, everything comes back folded. Big bag is about £20.

Appreciate we’re lucky to have the money to do this, and not everyone will have it.

If you're young and have a routine I think everything gets done regularly. As I am older , don't work , no routine I feel I am less efficient now. At least you are getting a walk in which is more important than any housework .

@MargoLivebetterso today DH took one dc to school on way to work. I took the other dc (already finished school) to do some food shopping for the weekend. I need to do some baking as have some stuff going off & put a wash on. I’m getting a (much needed & overdue) pedicure. Then the other dc needs to be collected early (last day) & we have a picnic celebration thing. After that I’m dropping dc1 to friends house to stay over. Back home will make dinner, eat with dc2. DH will be in earliest at 6:30pm. I’m off to see friend for a quick chat. I’m typing this & phoning family whilst on the treadmill to fit in some steps.

I would love to fit in a yoga class & need to some errands eg post office, pharmacy but I don’t think I will have the time. And dinner isn’t from scratch!

I didn't go to yoga classes or have pedicures. I was just surviving, keeping all the balls in the air as a full-time working single parent. We only do what we can do. Only really responded as the OP seemed to be looking for efficiency tips, of which I have loads.

If some parents give the impression it is easy, maybe they find that it is. Like I say it wasn't easy for me, but I managed and became very efficient, so I like offering my tips!

I think you need to sit down and work out what you’re actually doing with your time, because doing the housework and gardening and supermarket shop for a home that’s got one person in it should not take up an entire weekend. There must be something that is making you lose a lot of time. Are you a massive doomscroller or social media addict who’s always on your phone?

I work ft as a teacher so I’m always out of the house during the day. I often meet friends after work for drinks or dinner and weekends I will arrange in advance. If I’m meeting a friend at 11am on a Saturday, I’ll be up at 8am and quickly do my bathroom, whizz round with the hoover and put a wash on so the housework is largely done by the time I go out. Dusting, bins etc are done as and when during the week - I keep on top of the housework so it’s always clean and tidy and I don’t need to do a time consuming deep clean at weekends.

I will often walk home from work via the supermarket to pick up dinner - I don’t tend to do a big time consuming weekly shop. And I often do any phone calls to parents, family, friends etc while I’m walking/wandering around the supermarket - I love to multitask!

I have lots of hobbies and do volunteering on top of my busy jobs and manage to maintain a wide circle of friends who I see regularly. I also always cook from scratch, take my lunch to work with me, etc. I have time for this because I am efficient with my time, never leave a room without taking things back to where they belong, I plan ahead and book things into my diary to ensure I see friends, and I don’t have a TV or any social media.

If I worked from home I would be using breaks and lunch to do cooking, online supermarket, washing and housework. Someone who works from home has the gift of being able to utilise their breaks to keep on top of the stuff most people only have evenings and weekends to do. You need to do this and be better at booking things in ahead at weekends so that you spend them having fun rather than doing household chores you should be able to easily fit in around your working day.