Do I pay for all their coffees and drinks?

[Argentinasnargentina]

Dd’s birthday party this weekend. It’s at a soft play/activity type place. It’s three hours long and will include lunch provided by the establishment-pizzas, cheeseburgers, sweets, fruit platter, water and juices, cupcakes etc.
There are ten children coming with parents, the place has a cafe/coffee bar selling drinks & snacks.
As we’re hosting, what do I do? I feel
a bit uncomfortable with parents coming and having to buy their own coffee and cold drinks but the other option to have it open and we pay the bill at the end scares me a bit!
The party with all food included and an entertainer coming has cost a lot and the lunch will be plentiful

Not sure what to do?

If you can’t afford it then don’t do it. I’ve been to parties both ways - it’s nice but not essential.

People won’t expect it, honestly. If you wanted to you could maybe provide one complimentary tea, coffee or soft drink for each parent, if the budget allows. But you absolutely don’t have to.

No - you are feeding their children. If they want to buy coffee and cake flr themselves, its their shout not yours

It’s not expected at a soft play party though. Parents know the party itself is expensive. So wouldn’t expect them to add parents drinks to that expense.

We recently had a soft play party and we opened a tab and asked the staff to not let parents put food on it but drinks were fine. Typically there were no p* takers and everyone had one drink so I think the bill came to £50-£80 for a party of 14 parents. When people came in we just said we’ve opened a tab for drinks only if they wanted to get themselves a coffee.

Once everyone is there - if it is in your budget you could say you’re doing a drinks order and to get everyone something if they want it!

Why would it be awkward? I would expect to pay for my own coffee. And I'd be very nervous of you setting a precedent for future birthday parties!

Most people buy their own or you could buy the first drink for parents but no more.

I have accompanied my kids to many parties and have never had any refreshments provided for me/other adults. When we threw a party at a soft play centre for our daughter we didn't put anything on for parents. We paid almost 500 to cater for her whole class. No way were we paying more than that, not even for siblings. We made that explicitly clear on the invite that food and refreshments included for the invitee only. Siblings had to be paid for by parents and any other refreshments beyond those provided by us.

I wouldn't ever expect free drinks for adults at a kids party.

I've never been to a kids party at soft play where the hosts bought the parents drinks.

I've always bought my own if I had to stay.

I would absolutely expect to pay for my own coffee! Nothing to feel uncomfortable about.

Agree with this, As its only 10 sets of parents, just try and catch them all in person soon after arrival and offer to go up and get them a hot drink. I've only ever been to one where they set up a tab.

Agree with pp saying its normal to expect to buy your own, but round our way it's most definitely not normal for a soft play party to last 3 hours so I'd be dead chuffed if the hosts bought me a coffee!

We didn’t buy drinks but I think, if you wanted to, offering to buy one for each parent as people arrive would be generous. We did make the birthday cake big enough to offer round (but homemade so not a big expense) and also a bought an extra pizza to give parents a slice each.

I've done a few parties like this. My kids are beyond this age thankfully but thinking back, there was water/squash for the table and if parents wanted anythign else they got it themselves.
same when I was invited to other parties, I think

I’m not expecting them to, I’d actually prefer if they left 😂 but have a feeling they may stay

@Argentinasnargentina You do not need to buy anything for the parents. Most will not stay I think and those who choose to do so can get their own coffeee. I have been to many parties like this and only once was there a tab- but the parents were extremely wealthy so absolutely could afford it.

I'd pay for everyone's first drink and put jugs of iced water out for them. As an attendee I'd find this thoughtful, as a host I'd feel like I'd done my job.

But I've been to a billion soft play parties and only had tea/coffee provided once. In fairness it does stick out as being lovely so your instinct is good.

I’d expect to buy my own.
If you want to buy something, maybe offer them a hot drink on arrival?

I would buy the first round, if it's 10 kids it's probably only 10 coffees, so easy to keep track of. I'd just greet them as they arrive and ask if they want a coffew/say you're doing a coffee round and get them in but not leave an open tab! Normally in these situations at least 1 or 2 people will kindly get you one back at some point too...

I had a tab that I paid at the end for my DDs party at a soft play, but it was a very low key little place (basic tea and coffee, not lattes etc) and prices were about £2 for a filter coffee or £1.50 for a tea. It came to an extra £30-ish at the end of the two hours which was fine.

Equally, when I have been to soft play parties and had to pay for my own drink, it hasn't bothered me in the slightest and where it is a more standard cafe with far more options and averaging £4 a drink, I think it's more than fair for parents to just get their own rather than add a another expense to your party bill.

In my experience as long as the kids are happy and fed, the parents will go along with whatever.

You are hosting the kids not the parents. I have been to many of these and always been happy to get my own coffee

I've attended soft play parties and would always expect to buy my own tea and coffee, as do my friends

Kids - drinks/food paid for. Adults we expect to buy our own.

See if the venue will do large jugs of water and squash on the tables, topped up as needed and paid for by you. That's the drinks that the parents and kids need to keep hydrated, especially if it's hot... If they WANT coffee/tea/coke etc they can pay!